Choosing the Harder Way

 

The enemy places obstacles and impediments in the way of those who love and begin to serve God our Lord, and fails to remind us of the great comfort and consolation which our Lord is want to give to such souls, who, as new recruits in our Lord's service, surmount these obstacles and choose to suffer with their Creator and Lord.

- St. Ignatius of Loyola

It's quite notable how choice is such a factor in our spiritual growth. In times of desolation, when our spiritual life lacks or enters a dark period, it's all too easy to let any small thing stop us from the routine we may have had (church, prayers, quiet time, reflection). This good we had normally taken time in our daily lives disappears, and you are making the choice to stray. St. Ignatius warns us to not make any changes to our spiritual routines when experiencing time of desolation. Don't stop the things you were doing, especially when we feel discouraged. That's when we need more prayer time, quiet time, etc. But in those dark challenging moments, Satan tries to get us to feel uncertainty, doubt, raising up denial of truth we once knew - seeking to distract us with whispers he will throw our way very quickly. Notice how easy it is to let yourself be led off into whatever vice or excuse when you feel dry or questioning, the moment you feel a distance from God.

Overcoming these obstacles is the goal, resisting them to grow. As G.K. Chesterton said, "a dead thing can go with the stream, but only a living thing can go against it." It's about choice and choosing the harder way. Let no other option fill your mind. The Lord will help us overcome such a pull toward the easy way, if we choose to keep our focus on Him, even when we don't feel like it. Maybe that means letting go of things you watch or listen to that take you into a worldly direction. Go to church, say prayers anyway. Reflect and write out the struggles. Bring them to God. God sees us making that choice and keeping on, and He sees us as we suffer, as He is with us in our suffering. 

Like Dante going through his journey through hell, the only way out is through. There's no true short cut and it may be some time before you make it through. We don't take upon ourselves the time, we take upon ourselves the choice, and receive the grace. The choice to follow no matter what. God sees that, and time will pass, so will the desolation. Consolation will come and we will see that resisting the desolation (and all the forceful distractions that try to grab at us) allows us to resist, and we grow spiritually through that experience. Better equipped to live out God's goodness through our lives.

In Manus Tuas

 

In manus tuas, Domine,
Commendo spiritum meum

Into your hands, Lord
I commend my spirit

Jesus' last words on the cross. Thanks be to God for the love and sacrifice of our Lord Jesus. My favourite sacred music group, Floriani, put an arrangement together of this chant for their choral retreat, and posted a video of this. It is absolutely hauntingly beautiful; the words, the voices harmonizing, the sacredness of Jesus' words, held in a sacred space. Our eyes gaze up to Jesus through this music.

This is what beauty is. Through the talent of these singers, they glorify God and point us to Jesus, encouraging others in the same spirit. Reverent, deeply moving, and prayerfully sung. This is a prayer from the evening prayer in the Liturgy of the Hours.

I think sacred music has become one of my favourite things. It is truly timeless - sung before the time of Jesus' incarnation in the Jewish traditions of singing the Psalms. It is seeing a bit of a revival these days, especially with the younger generation, like gen Z, as they seek out meaning in life - it has to be more than the material and subjective things that the world pushes on us all.

Sacred music is not flimsy or loose. It's ancient, rooted, taken directly from Scripture; it's moving and meaningful. It transcends time and space - you can get lost in it - meaning you can sense a heavenly element to it, feeling the presence of the Lord. It takes us beyond ourselves to the heavenly - again, it's directing your heart and soul to the eternal. Setting your focus on what is reality. As we know, this world we live in feels more a more like something out of a simulation and is not reality. It is more like a fake layer covering up reality. The point of rich sacred worship music is to get out of ones selfish gaze upon your own nose. For years I struggled with the modern Christian music in how often it points to oneself rather than to the glory of God. It was missing so much, to me, and now I am understanding more as I actually experience sacred music and allow myself to be open to what it tells us about the ancient church and the purpose of worship.

The richness of beauty is the path that leads to the deeper life in truth. Not just through music, but through beliefs, sacraments, depth, reverence, prayer. If Jesus were to show up in your church in bodily form, wouldn't you bow, kneel, offer reverence and want to kiss Jesus' feet? The purpose of going to church is not to make yourself feel good that you've spent one hour singing happy songs and listening to a long sermon, no. It is to be with Jesus present in the Eucharist. Not just welcoming Jesus in the spirit, but Jesus truly present as He said in John 6  "This is my body". He meant it and the ancient church believed in this to the fullest. All honor and praise be to Him; kneeling is the very least we can do.

When you sing/say such ancient words, you are connected across space and time to the ancient church. It's all about Jesus. Every moment, prayer, and gesture. It's to praise, thank, repent, surrender, and worship Jesus who is the only one to deserves it.

Beauty is Truth, Truth Beauty

 

The Cathedral Basilica of St. Louis

"Beauty is truth, truth beauty," - 
that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.

- from "Ode on a Grecian Urn", by John Keats

Could John Keats be onto something much deeper than a surface lever subjective telling of beauty and truth? He was a seeker, a deeply felt searcher for words to describe the eternal beauty that did not fade, the light that did not dim, the scenes of the faery lands forlorn, over the perilous seas (from his "Ode to a Nightingale"). He dips into myth and story like a rich dredge of honey into the bowl; it's sweet and full of emotive and sometimes melancholic words arranged with intention and musicality - and experienced as lines of a poem.

Keats was seeking the everlasting - through invoking myth, spirit, flowers, birds, love, signs + sounds. He was deeply thoughtful and meditative. Could he not have understood a deeper thing than most people know today? That beauty draws us to something deeper, higher, and more than ourselves. We seek it, and it draws us in and points to that higher object, truth. Something universal and objective, clinging together along with the output that comes from beauty and truth, to complete the trinity of the transcendentals - goodness. These three pieces are all one of the same - they sync eternally, always there to cause you to pause in your finite time here in the mundane day to point you to the infinite. The maker, creator, and sustainer of all good, all the world. 

Keats wasn't preaching. He wasn't a Christian from what I gather, yet he knew something about God and His creation - he could articulate it in his poems (even if he didn't realize it), often reaching deeper into truth than preachers. When you evoke beauty, you summon forth God and His goodness, petals shed the truth as you participate in seeing them, breathing their scented air, and taking in the many reminders that something so simple as flowers can remind us - of God's wisdom bestowed to us by way of such beauty. If we would only pay attention.

Notice how the lilies of the field grow;
they do not labor nor do they spin
thread for cloth...

- Matthew 6.28

Poets are good at paying attention. Writers are generally looking, searching, hunting for the words that transcend themselves to express a bigger idea. Keats is such an example, with a fluidity in his words that express beauty. Perhaps he wrote with nature and love swimming in his heart and set before his eyes, and at the same time God uses all the good we create to reveal His glory, even if not our initial thought. He leads us in our gifts to express that which can call/direct/point to Him. When we seek beauty that leads the thoughts to eternity, truth is revealed in the etch of the glass. It's delicate to be sure, and it can shatter if a falseness settles in with a rattle; the worldly desire for the pride/selfishness creep in very easily. Those and other vices that try to linger like fog over a lovely scene, but with a swift sigh and prayer the winds of truth clear the air, and settle into poetry that you read centuries later, grasping some small ounce of the sweetness Keats felt as he penned the words, which whisper of the eternal. 

Why You Should Read More

 

If you haven't caught some of the chatter lately, articles and features have been hitting the internet about how little Americans read. A summary report showed something like 19% of Americans read 82% of all the books published last year, and 40% of people read no books last year. No books! 

If this is not concerning to you, it should be. More and more in our culture the young people today do not know how to read. They are not assigned full books to read in school (just excerpts), and they think a book written in the1960s is "old English". Dumbed down language is used in so many texts and popular books today, there is no stretching or learning to shape the minds of children. There are no bigger, deeper questions being asked.

Overall reading, thinking, and writing is in decline and as a result we are moving toward a society where the few who read and think will be a small niche as the only ones who read. To me, this is a dystopian idea. It begs the question - what about all those who don't read or write or think? They become slaves to someone or something that does the thinking for them.

Did you know that since reading is a learned skill (we aren't born knowing instinctively how to read) it can be un-learned? If reading is not taught in its depth to the younger generations, it will disappear. And what will replace it?

You can learn more from these great resources - watch a video from The War on Beauty here, and read the article here in The Atlantic.

This all prompted me to read a classic book How to Read a Book by Mortimer Adler, which was written in 1940, and I think should be required reading for every high schooler. In this book he walks us through the different dimensions of reading - levels that include elementary, inspectional, analytical, and syntopical reading. Then he gives tips on how to read different kinds of books, from nonfiction, fiction, philosophy, science, mathematics, history, etc. He emphasizes that we can learn only from our "betters". We should read above our level, not below, to challenge and stretch our thinking. Ask questions as you read, annotate, re-read, and write out in your own words what the author is saying, the arguments the author is using, and your own analysis if it is truth or not.

I love what Mortimer writes - "The great authors were great readers, and one way to understand them is to read the books they read. As readers, they carried on a conversation with other authors, just as each of us carries on a conversation with the books we read, though we may not write other books."

This has been my theory since college. Every time I read C.S. Lewis he mentions various books and authors he reads, and I go look them up. It's how I have gotten to know so many authors over the years, is by reading what Lewis read - John Milton, G.K. Chesterton, Plato, George MacDonald, etc.

You should read more. And not just any book that is simply entertainment and requires no thought - but the good, great, amazing books (most of which are old) that challenge you, stretch you, and make you think. The old literature that presents difficult characters or scenarios that you have to decide who is right, and why. The books that show you something about what it is to be human. Books that show you through story the meaning of life, or heroism, or strife, of true faith, freedom, and of deeper truth.

Sweet Savannah

It's probably not the best idea to take a road trip during the hottest days of summer to Savannah, where it's suffocatingly hot. For someone like me, anyway, who doesn't fair well with hot weather at all. Temperatures soared into the upper 90s with 99% humidity, as is true for the south in the summer. But I did for a very good purpose. To visit my dear friend Jenny. And it was a lovely quick trip and even better, held quality time for us to spend one night in downtown Savannah. 

On my journey up and back, I made a coffee stop in Jacksonville each way, at the same location - Mechanism Coffee Roasters in E-Town, highly recommended. Good coffee pit stop for my long drive.

I enjoy and appreciate the charm and history of Savannah. The beauty of the squares and huge shady trees adds to the charm. In downtown Savanah, we stayed within a couple blocks of all our activities, which was perfect on these very hot days.

When we arrived before noon, our room was ready, which was a great surprise. We were able to stash our stuff upstairs and then walk down to the Cathedral Basilica of Saint John the Baptist for daily mass. We were early and sat in the quiet, calm, cool space enjoying the beauty of the windows and art all around. This basilica is a beautiful architectural masterpiece of French gothic style built in 1873. The peace and calm of the prayerful atmosphere sank deeply into us. To be able to share in the experience of a daily mass with Jenny was so meaningful and beautiful. 

We walked across the street afterwards and enjoyed a drink at my favourite coffee shop in town, Mirabelle. I had a lavender latte, my top pick. Sitting at the little marble table we sat and talked for over an hour before venturing down the street for a brief browse at E. Shaver's Booksellers. After a quick look into each section, we headed back to the hotel room for a couple hour rest, letting the heat of the day pass by. I worked and read this very interesting biography of C.S. Lewis by A.N. Wilson I had somehow never read (I just love the cover, with Lewis in his dressing gown). 

Pizza was calling us for dinner, and a Mellow Mushroom was only a block away. Over a relaxed time enjoying delicious pizza we got to share in life and thoughts. The weather grew cloudy and breezy afterwards, there must have been some storms nearby, but never came over us. Walking around Madison Square we end up sitting on a bench for awhile, talking about some theological ideas.

Proverbs 27:17 - As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. 

This verse so well sums up my long friendship with Jenny; for 25 years we have been close friends. Over that time, as high schoolers moving on as college students (and life as roommates) we experienced the highs and lows of growing up and learning from our experiences. We can still share in those memories, good and bad, reflecting on how those certain moments or decisions challenged and changed us. 

Though we eventually came to live in separate states (she got married and moved to Georgia a year or so after college) it has been amazing to see how our journeys of deepening faith and focusing on what matters in life have paralleled, even though we live very different kinds of lives. I am deeply thankful for our long and close friendship. It's a gift from God. Something God has used for both of us to grow. 

I love how C.S. Lewis describes friendship in The Four Loves:

“In friendship...we think we have chosen our peers. In reality a few years' difference in the dates of our births, a few more miles between certain houses, the choice of one university instead of another...the accident of a topic being raised or not raised at a first meeting - any of these chances might have kept us apart. But, for a Christian, there are, strictly speaking no chances. A secret master of ceremonies has been at work. Christ, who said to the disciples, "Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you," can truly say to every group of Christian friends, "Ye have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another." The friendship is not a reward for our discriminating and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each of us the beauties of others.”

Jenny has surgery next week, so please pray for her. If you'd like to follow her journey, please visit her blog HERE.

Summer Skies and Gratitude

 

It's America's 250th birthday today - Happy Birthday America! Do we give thanks for our country and all the freedoms we have here? I hope so. For, we often take for granted all that we have and for the lives of people who have come before us who stood up to protect it over our short history.

The idea of thankfulness and gratitude seems to get washed away in our culture. However if we are Christians, gratitude should be the centre of our prayers and daily life. The more we think about the graces and mercy God has shown us, the more we see His presence in our daily lives. In that sense, the more awake we become.

The person who is filled with gratitude toward God, whose life is permeated by this primary attitude of gratitude, is also the only person who is truly awake.

- Dietrich von Hildebrand

 Our spirits become enriched when we live in a place where gratitude to God and to others becomes the norm we wake up to and reflect on. When we devote thought and time to such a stance, we are able to see the good in front of us and are more open to being a bearer of the good that we can bestow onto others.

When we are fully aware how God's love surrounds us, gratitude is the response that comes out of our hearts with this knowledge of the good gifts He has given us. When we are filled with gratitude, we become great and expansive, as Hildebrand wrote. When we are thankful, we recognize we possess no right before God and all is gift from God, out of His goodness. He wants us to be filled with goodness and share that with others. 

Hildebrand wrote that only the person who is filled with gratitude toward God is truly awake. The opposite would be someone who is always living in the periphery and takes everything for granted.

Summer is a time I find it difficult to give thanks every morning and evening. Summer heat and sun take a toll on me, it's like the opposite of those who struggle in the winter with grey sky and no sun. I struggle in the summer with intense heat and sun. I rejoice when the clouds come and rain falls for hours in a gentle soaking. 

Yet I know that when I take a moment to watch the sunrise or sunset a smile emerges on my face because I instantly turn to thank God for such a beautiful reminder of His gift of the morning/evening and the gifts of nature we take for granted everyday. I love how the summer sun tucks away behind the taller buildings, creating a silhouette of downtown. Recognizing this removes any apathy I feel toward the Summer weather and makes me blissfully aware how the infinite love and mercy of God is present in every moment of every day and night. Then this thankfulness becomes an expression of my heart, which shows up in all other areas of life.

Have a blessed 4th of July weekend, and remember to take moments for gratitude. 

A Nonfiction Summer

 

The lazy days of summer - travel, home, beach, family. While there tends to be a lot of coming and going in summer time as kids are out of school, there is also a decent amount of down time. I don't have summer like a student, but I fully embrace the down time and using that down time for reading. It's too hot outside to really do anything out there, and even if you are out there at the pool, beach, or backyard, the best way to spend leisure time is reading! 

Grab a cold drink, or a cup of tea if you are inside, and learn, grow, think, ponder, dive into a story. The options are limitless, whatever your interest. I seem to have been engrossed in nonfiction lately, so here's some recent reads if that strikes your fancy.

If you like art, To See Clearly: Why Ruskin Matters is so interesting. John Ruskin was an art critic, thinker, advocate for beauty in architecture and art. He was a genius. I read this book on my travels to Atlanta and back, it was a perfect intro to Ruskin on a high level. I will be digging into much more of Ruskin's writings.

Speaking of beauty, I'm studying the transcendental "beauty" with my dearest friend, and we are reading Beauty in the Light of the Redemption, as part of our studies, which is a short intro to Hildebrand's deep philosophical understanding of beauty as being objective, not something subjective and up to each person. Beauty is important-in-itself. I've written about Aesthetics by Hildebrand in a previous post, which is his main masterpiece on this. This is a condensed explanation that is very much worth reading as it will change the way you think about beauty. 

If you are interested in religion and the differences, follow along the journey of faith with Peter Kreeft in his life, From Calvinist to Catholic is a very approachable tale of his spiritual journey. Kreeft has such a down to earth way of writing that's easy to understand, even if he is talking about something complex or philosophical. His concise explanations are so helpful.

Along those lines, I've read through The Early Church Fathers Collection to read the actual letters and documents from the first and second centuries to hear from the men who knew the Disciples, who built up the Church, who passed on the traditions from what they were taught, and who record important pieces of the Church that Jesus started, before there was a New Testament.

If you like history and learning about quirky characters, and you love Britain, Alice Loxton is your author. She's fun and full of facts from history, told in a playful telling of tales. I picked up Eighteen: A History of Britain in 18 Young Lives when I was in Oxford listening to her talk, and had her sign this copy. She takes young 18 year olds from history and tells their story, especially what they were doing at age 18. She includes witty tales from Bede to Geoffrey Chaucer to C.S. Lewis, and many others I had never heard of.  

Lastly, A Dish of Orts, is a collection of random (odds and ends) essays by MacDonald, but they don't feel like odds and ends. Many of the essays are on Shakespeare and they have opened up Shakespeare to me - I had no idea MacDonald was such an expert on Shakespeare. Also, a couple of good essays on the imagination. I feel he has the best insights about imagination as truth bearing, which is where C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien learned from. 

Reminiscing Rain

 

I insert a couple of rainy Oxford photos from this Spring because I think Oxford glistens and is most beautiful in the rain. As I sit here now in the tropical heat of Florida (in months of drought) I am dreaming of the cooler air and chilly rain of Oxford. I'd love to go take a walk along the Turl and through the Bodleian Library quadrangles as the gentle pitter patter of raindrops splash onto my umbrella, or my jacket hood. I will turn the corner and duck into a coffee shop to read with a coffee for a bit.

Reminiscing Rain

Recent days have been stark and drear
Recalling desert lands not near
On a particularly grey scale sky day
I dreamily reminisce the hours away
Recalling gentle raindrops falling
Chorus of a cloudburst heard the calling
Joining in the landscape symphony
As all of nature rises to see
This utmost essential gift from above
Fills nourishing elements to all we love
And can remind us in a spiritual sense
Gifts inviting us into transcendence. 

Quick Atlanta Adventure

 I was recently in Atlanta on a short business trip where I was asked to be part of some meetings. Any travel can be a little adventure, so in the little time I had on my own, I tried to enjoy it like it was my own little holiday away.

I flew into Atlanta around lunchtime, which I had never done before. Anytime I've ever been in Atlanta, I've driven in, and had my car to get around. The Atlanta airport is huge, but I must admit, it was pretty efficient. Very crowded, though. The summer travel was certainly in full swing, and the terminal halls and seating areas by the gates were always too small. People spilling over, lines at the bathrooms, packed food court area. 

The area I was staying was in Northeast Atlanta, so I took a car from the Southwest airport across the whole city, to a more smaller city feel in Buckhead. I arrived and had several hours before my first gathering to attend. It was already very hot when I arrived at the hotel. It was a nice hotel, set amongst some leafy green trees, stylish, and comfortable. My room wasn't ready, and I was hungry, it was into the afternoon now. 

Thankfully a local pizza spot was just 2 blocks away and I could walk there. I was so glad they had gf/df pizza options and I was able to get a very yummy pizza, sit there and eat, read my book, and take my time. When I was done with lunch, it was really too hot to walk around anywhere, so I went back to the hotel (my room still wasn't ready) so I went up to the rooftop restaurant, which opens up to an outdoor terrace with views all around. 

Way too hot to be out on the terrace, I sat inside and ordered a latte, sat there and read my book on John Ruskin, did some work on my laptop, and then my room was ready an hour or so later. The room had a cute deep green velvet couch that curved from the bed headboard around to the window. I ended up nestling there doing work and reading in the time I had. 

This book on John Ruskin, I picked up in Oxford at the Ashmolean Museum (it's signed by the author) as I have been wanting to read more of Ruskin. He was a prolific writer on art, beauty, aesthetics, and was hugely influential. I've read some of his essays, but wanted to dive deeper. This book was a great introduction to him overall so when I pick up more of his writings I will have a broader understanding. He was rather fascinating, so this book was my travel companion for this trip. 

The next morning, they had breakfast for us on the covered section of the outdoor terrace. The sun shown brightly and the sky was summer blue - hot and bright. I think I sat in one of the only shady spots. It was a scenic spot up there - I really liked looking out and seeing all the very green leafy trees whilst in a big city. 

Turn Distraction into Devotion

 

I would not consider myself an easily distracted person, and yet I am. I have been noticing it a lot more in the last few years - the pressure to keep up with emails, texts, social media, technology in general I would argue does not increase our focus, but distract us from focus. I could harken back to the "old days" growing up when there was no internet and no cell phones, and computers were maybe one per household, not one or two per person. But we cannot deny the age we are in, and it's sweeping in quickly. So we must decide what to do in the "right now" we are in - how can we be more intentional, personal, human, and meaningful? This technology grows and changes day to day. One new program comes out, and two days later it is outdated. Not all development and technology is bad, but are all these things best for the common good? Or are they making tech companies richer and more powerful to the detriment of our humanity - focus, purpose, and meaning?

There's no easy answer to all that, and I am no expert, they are just questions that have been rustling around in me for a long while, and the more I see of the changes the more I see those willingly letting go of the deeper truths once known. Noticing this has caused me to want to choose to be embracing more of the lifestyle that includes: in-person, deep conversation, physical book, go to church, handwritten notes and journaling - things that bring joy to the human experience. I regularly unsubscribe from emails, unfollow people, and remove apps to only the ones I use regularly to keep my phone less of a black hole. I add Oxford photos here because no place is immune to these changes. My time in Oxford did not eliminate the distractions - I had to choose to ignore them or at least push them out until later, so I could focus on where I was and the time I had there. That's not easy. 

Questions have been swirling around for me - I have been asking myself how can I turn these distractions into more devotion? Remove the temptation. I am able to impact my own schedule and focus, I am able to make choices of actions I take and words I pay attention to. These things shape me - where my focus is, is also where my devotion is. May I focus more deeply on the Lord in every day.

This day to serve thee as I ought,
Nor sin in deed, or word, or thought - 
To make for my self-will amends
By loving thee in all thy friends
And helping others as I may
With kindliness throughout the day. Amen

(Oxford Oratory Prayer Book)

Making focus part of my routine is key. If I am being swept around like a leaf on a blustery day, I have no direction and I am lost. No focus will come to my time. I've set myself the time for the prayers of the liturgy of the hours for morning, evening, and night. I keep that book at a very handy spot on my desk for the morning, and by my cosy chair for the evening, so it's right there and not forgotten.

From all ill dreams defend our eyes.
From nighty fears and fantasies:
Tread under foot our ghostly foe,
That no pollution we may know.

(Oxford Oratory Prayer Book)

Starting small has been my goal, and as I implemented these things the more I wanted to add, so I add another small thing, prayers on the Hallow app, then I will add more, reading a devotion book. And before I know it these things are part of my day and it's funny how when I give myself to these devotions, everything else works out as needed but my worry is not on those other things. It's funny how taking our eyes off ourselves leads to a more fulfilled and happy life. It's funny how when we do the opposite of what the world wants us to do (be distracted by all the empty, shallow things) we can have a more peaceful, purposeful life. It may not provide all the answers at this moment, but it keeps our eyes fixed on the only One who deserves the devotion and our lives will be directed along His path.