It's Always Been There

Oft when I peak into my cluttered mind

And inspiration I try to find

I find a place shut off before

Things that can sometimes melt my core

Of rich and true nature I stumble upon

Like mulled over views had suddenly turned on

Going deeper is required for more

Isn't this what we came in here for?

At the center of me there's something small

Deceptive it is because it truly covers all

It's the love of God in my heart

Like a seedling only begun to start

True happiness is knowing the source of this love

That can start as a seedling from heaven above

Let it grow, let it thrive, and learn to share

For sharing is when you'll know it's always been there

A Jane-ite in Oxford

My copy of P & P, bought in Newcastle, England in 2009

The Rewley House

Courtyard at the Rewley House

Jane Austen: A Reintroduction, class at Oxford University- 4 June 2011

One day in Oxford I took a class at the Rewley House. The class consisted of four sessions by professors who were very well informed on the topic of Jane Austen. By well informed, I mean that they each have written extensively on various aspects of her life, published books, researched, taught, &c.With a full day devoted to all things Jane Austen, one who would attend such a class could be dubbed a "Jane-ite".

That I am. My Mom joined me in this class, and I believe she entered the class a regular citizen, and walked out a "Jane-ite".

I started reading Jane Austen's books when I was in college, and my appreciation for her 6 novels has only grown. Her first book (Sense and Sensibility) was published in 1811, so this year is the 200 year anniversary. When I mention Jane Austen, most people either have no idea what I am talking about, or they assume it's just girly stories. It may surprise you then, that there were more than 50 people in the class and good handful of them were men. Several of them were with their wives, but there must have been some sort of intrigue on their part to learn more, as this wasn't a free class, and it was a full day.

There are so many wonderful aspects of Jane Austen's writings. The characters are unique and they develop through the story, growing and learning. The stories are so memorable where good wins and love triumphs in the end, but not without strife. The manners of that time cause me dream of seeing a tiny glimpse of that in today's world (I wish guys would realize it's a good thing to be a gentleman). The subtle wit behind Jane's sentences makes me smile as I read. All the while, I wish I lived in that time period when things were simpler.

While I thought I knew quite a bit about Jane's life before this class, the speakers went into unknown territory about her literary techniques, publishing history (Jane got £150 for her first book), the revisions she made, the places she lived, the themes she wrote about, and how that all correlated to her life. The speakers were engaging and kept things quite interesting. I think someone who didn't know anything about Jane would have been interested in these presentations.

During our coffee/tea breaks (outside at the courtyard or in the Common Room), Mom and I befriended a nice British lady (everyone was British, we were the only Americans) who has a daughter, so my Mom enjoyed relating to her. We compared our cultures, our travels, our holiday time (either Americans work too much or the British work too little. I think the former is true). Our new friend was amazed how we only have a few weeks of holiday time and that we were only in England for a week.

One week is definitely not enough time to enjoy England. But even in bits and pieces, it is worth it.

Is there a felicity in the world superior to this? -Marianne, Sense and Sensibility

Magdalen at a Glance

Magdalen Tower, Oxford University

Courtyard at the Bodleian Library

I want to be back in Oxford. I was there for four days this time and still missed seeing some of my favorite spots. I want to stroll Addison's Walk alongside Magdalen College, where C.S. Lewis lived and taught. He walked this path almost everyday, and I have yet to do that. This photo was as close to Magdalen I got on this trip. But still, in four days I did get to wander through town everyday. Walking through the Bodleian Library courtyards on the way to another place always made me smile. We always found ourselves walking by the Radcliffe Camera and St. Mary's. The dreaming spires surrounding us. The history practically oozing from all the buildings. Weathered stonework creates a glow in the courtyards as the sun lowers in the sky. Sounds echo off the buildings and the gravel crunches under our feet.
I could walk these streets and courtyards forever.
What is it about the old university buildings, history, and being in England that captures me so? Frequently, while walking around Oxford, I wanted to just sit on a bench and write about what I was seeing. I wanted to capture in my journal all that my senses were experiencing.
I realized that it's not necessarily a big city that always grabs my attention and inspiration, but a place that has much to offer in its history, buildings, people, stories, culture, &c. A small town can do all that. The small towns I have experienced in England have charmed me. And I want to go back.

Darkness Can Be Hopeful?

Oxford, England overnight

Our lives are full of dark times. Sometimes it feels like it goes on and on...Sometimes it makes you feel alone, but you are never alone. God understands the sadness, pain, tears, and trials. That brings me comfort because I know I am in good hands. A god who can relate and understand is a reachable god, and we have that.

These matters I think about don't seem tiny to me, but they are tiny to God. Not tiny in importance, but tiny in that He can handle it all. There's nothing too big to stump God. The plan is already rolling out, and He knows what is meant to happen next. But being in this "unknown" place is really a struggle at times. Being shrouded in darkness leaves me feeling uncertain.

Yet, it is also a hopeful time because I can look ahead and be thankful for the good that God is about to let happen. So, we are to count it all as joy. And the darkest time of night is soon interrupted by the light of a new day...

Hope, like love, is one of the very simple, primordial dispositions of the living person. In hope, man reaches 'with restless heart', with confidence and patient expectation, toward the bonum arduum futurum, toward the arduous 'not yet' of fulfillment, whether natural or supernatural. -Josef Pieper, On Hope

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. -James 1.2-3

A Difficulty Seeing

Hertford College, Oxford

O the darkness of that night

O the grandeur of that sight

None can speak it, none can tell

Heark I hear the thunder swell

-Charlotte Bronte, 1830

My heart was scattered today. The colors in my life seemed off. A gray cloud has been hovering and as streams of light are starting to be seen, the thunder is still rumbling.
In this time of the unknown, I stand on the edge of a chasm. A cleft dweller I am, clinging to the rocks that are so loose that I lose my grip many times.
But I visualize good happening with hope in my heart. Climbing to the top where a good place waits. But as the gray clouds have settled into the chasm, I cannot quite see where the top is. So, I ask myself, why is it so hard for me to hand over the anxious thoughts that do me no good? What do I think I am doing, holding onto that?

Lord, You are always near to hear me. Forgive my trust issues. I need You more than anything and the most important thing is to love You with all my heart, soul, and mind. Help me do this every day, not just some of the days. And as I trust and depend on You, all the puzzle pieces will start to fit together.

Anything is Possible

Am I crazy to dream of things to happen that seem so big or unlikely? Why should I limit myself? With God, anything is possible.

Is it silly of me to picture future events that I so desire to happen? How do I know what processes and preparations are already taking place? Being that I am stuck in time, I can only see what is at the present moment, not what is going to happen in a week, a month, or a year.

God is not in time. He sees the whole picture all at once, which is why our trust should solely lie with His plans. God sees me pondering now and He already sees the plans that are about to unfold. How can I only trust in my plans then? I am ill qualified to make such confident plans. My attitude should be this: with God willing and in His grace, I would like ____ to happen. If it is meant to work and if it is in God's plans for me, then I know God will help make it happen.

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G.K. Chesterton

O spirits of the sky were there

Strange enchantment filled the air

I have seen from each dark cloud

Which in gloom those vales did shroud...

(Charlotte Brontë, 1830)

An Example Worth Following

An example worth following.
That's my Dad in just a few words.
On this day, I feel privileged to remember my Dad, and the great man that he was. With a pang of sadness in my heart I see others who get to celebrate this day with their Dad. For me, I count it joy to share stories and memories with my family and friends who knew my Dad. So, if you knew him, let's talk soon and share stories. We will surely laugh and I might cry, but it only goes to show how great a man he was.
His love for his four kids was so obvious, because he always talked about us to other people. When I was younger it would annoy me because everyone seemed to know my business, but it was his way of boasting about his kids. I didn't see it then. His pride was not of a conceited nature, but rather the kind of pride that made him swell with love for others. He never hid that pride.

I count myself truly blessed to have had a Dad who did set the good example. I know not everyone has been so privileged. I will always give thanks for my Dad, and remember the way he lived and brought me up. With love.

“he did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, as his father David had done” (1 Kings 15:11)

Books Enough to Satisfy Me

Did you know the first book was printed in Oxford in 1478?

Blackwell Books

Oxford University Press

Bodleian Library Shop

I know you all have been anxiously awaiting my musing about the books of Oxford. Well, wait no longer. I could muse about books forever, but that would probably not fare well with most people. It was like a tiny bit of heaven for me, to put it simply. When you think about the form of communication we have, in writing and then the mass publishing, it really is incredible. This is part of the reason I love Oxford so much. I would never run out of good books to read because the town has countless bookstores to explore. I need books like I need to breathe.

I could have spent all day in Blackwell Books. This store, on Broad Street, was across the street from the Bodleian Library and was 5 floors of books! I started in the basement, which is where the above photos were taken. This one-room basement, called the Norrington Room, is the largest one-room of books in all of Europe! As you can see, I found an armful of books just down there. Then, I traveled to the other floors and found many more. Being that all my favorite authors are British, they had all the books I can never find in the States!

The Oxford University Press is the largest university press in the world. The bookstore on High Street is 3 or 4 floors of books, but all I needed was the "Oxford World Classics" section, where, again, I could find books by my favorite authors that are so hard to find here.

Along with the Bodleian Library shop, there was an exhibit for the King James Bible. This year is the 400 year anniversary of the KJB, the authorized translation into English, and the Bodleian took the opportunity to display not only one of the few surviving original King James Bibles printed in 1611, but also many other precious Bibles from as far back as 1000 AD.

I had to tear myself away from these bookstores, mainly because I had to figure out a way to carry all the books I wanted to purchase on the plane with me. Believe me, I would have purchased more than I did if I didn't have to carry them on a plane. As I handed over my British Pound Sterling Notes to pay for my books, I saw that my money was getting low. I wasn't bothered. I thought of the quote that always makes me smile:

When I get a little money, I buy books; and if any is left, I buy food and clothes. -Erasmus

Doors

Schola Moralis Philosophiae door at the Bodleian Library, Oxford

Main door leading to the Bodleian Library Quadrangle

Sherlock Holmes' flat- 221B Baker Street, London

Exeter College (?), Oxford

I could focus on a myriad of architectural details of buildings for several musings. The buildings are so different from what we have here in the States. How about the "dreaming spires" of Oxford? Or the gargoyles with goofy or scary faces all over the place? Or just the intricate details of the stone buildings?

The doors, though, are dramatic and grand. Here are just a few examples of beautiful, large, detailed doors in Oxford. Along with a very famous door of the great fictional detective, Sherlock Holmes at his flat, 221B Baker Street.

Artful Musings from V & A

Victoria and Albert Museum, London

The task of art is enormous.  Through the influence of real art, aided by science, guided by religion, that peaceful co-operation of man which now maintained by external means -- by our law-courts, police, charitable institutions, factory inspection, and so forth -- should be obtained by man's free and joyous activity.  Art should cause violence to be set aside.
Leo Tolstoy, What Is Art?

I will be the first to admit I don't know much about art. Where I feel at home in a library or a bookstore, I usually don't know where to begin in any art museum. The Victoria and Albert Museum is comprised of cultural artifacts, not just art. The building is so large, the photo above taken from the street only shows about a quarter of the building. Inside, marble grandeur lobby and hallways echo the sounds of tourists and artists. Passing along the sculptures in the European room it is easy to admire the collections. The Korean and Japanese rooms had several young artists sitting cross legged on the floor, sketching a piece of art or an artifact.
Similar to the British Museum, the V & A is free and has floor after floor of spectacular collections. But to see them all would take, literally, a few days. So, I plan to return.

Tubes, Trains, and Cars

The Tube

Late night on the Tube. It's usually much more crowded

A train departing from Oxford Station

A 1 Series BMW with 4 doors. I don't think we have those here.

A BMW X 1 ?

A Rover (no clue what that is), sitting outside Westminster Abbey

I don't even know what this is

In London, the Underground (Tube) is by far the cheapest way to get around (aside from walking). It's bright, clean, and easy to use. When I say cheap, I don't truly mean it. It is actually quite an expensive underground system. A one-way ticket from Victoria Station to Paddington Station (a mere 4 miles apart) was £4.00 (which was about $6.60) In relation to a taxi, though, it is dramatically cheaper.

The train system throughout the UK is my favorite way to get anywhere. Within 4 hours you can go from London to Northumberland, the northernmost county in England (Jason and I did this the past 2 years). The trains are fast, on-time, and though they sometimes encounter delays, it's not nearly as frequent as delays you likely would experience on the motorway.

My family is obsessed with cars. I suppose you could call them petrol-heads. So, I can't help it but notice cars wherever I go, especially when they all look so different in another country. There are so many cars I never knew existed or had never seen until my first trip to England. Companies like Vauxhall, Peugeot, Lotus, etc...So I am always on the look-out for interesting cars, though I didn't have my camera ready for many of them.

People-Watching

Performers in Trafalgar Square

A worker with samples from Costa Coffee, Victoria Station

Paddington Station

You never know what or who you will see in London. Street performers abound, especially in Trafalgar Square. I love to watch people's reactions to the performers. Do they just ignore them and walk past? Or do they stop and stare at the strangeness?

Then, in train stations, just pay attention. Mom and I grabbed a quick lunch of a baguette from Upper Crust in Victoria Station and sat on a bench to eat when a worker from Costa Coffee ventured out to hand out samples. He looked like a very interesting guy, certainly had a happy countenance.

There is always something interesting to look at. Of course, I usually don't have my camera ready. Many times when we are rushing to see the attractions we miss some very interesting sights. People-watching, itself, is a sight to see in London.

"The Bod"

The Bodleian Library, Oxford

A library is a good place to go when you feel unhappy, for there, in a book, you may find encouragement and comfort. A library is a good place to go when you feel bewildered or undecided, for there, in a book, you may have your question answered. Books are good company, in sad times and happy times, for books are people — people who have managed to stay alive by hiding between the covers of a book.
E.B. White“A library is many things” in Letters of Note

Anyone can appreciate this library, affectionately known as "The Bod" to the locals. Even if for only the history, architecture and grandeur feeling of the place. For me, coupled with all that I mentioned, it also held that deep, nerdy, book lover that I am in awe as I stepped into Duke Humphrey's Library, the oldest part of the Bodleian Library dating from 1488. The scent of old books drifted to me as I entered and looked around at the floor to ceiling bookshelves (the first of their kind in Britain, by the way). I couldn't take photos in this area, so I had to memorize the sights. We toured the library on a Sunday, and since the library was closed, we were able to walk through the entire library that tours normally are not allowed to go through because this is a working library. Walking by rows of thick oak shelves of books I tried to imagine myself a student here, with access to this place at any time. Where students have the ability to view books that are hundreds of years old.

Downstairs is the Divinity School. This area has no books, but was the site of lectures. I included photos of this amazing room, with the exquisitely detailed ceiling with ornate carvings and Biblical symbols all over the place. This room also dates back to 1488 when it was completed. We also visited the Convocation Room (the last photo) and the Court Room.

I don't know what it is about being in the presence of 15th century architecture, books, and furniture that intrigues me so much. I think partly because our country is so young and there is nothing like this in America. Also, most of my favorite authors are British and many of them studied, taught, and lived in Oxford, so I knew I was treading on their footsteps and that is just a little bit exciting to me. Call me a nerd, I know.