The new issue of Catapult Magazine is out!
Visit http://www.catapultmagazine.com/

The topic is "Teaching Well" and I wrote an article reflecting on a favorite professor, Prof. Coleman.
Enjoy some thought-provoking articles!

Late is the Hour

Late is the hour and busy are my thoughts

A myriad of ponderings have consumed my jots

And I wish I had hours to sift through them

As they dash to and fro on my pages

Blank no more, it is a result of scriblomania

A condition some have where compulsiveness to write

Is a necessity morning, noon, and night

Autumn

Yesterday I was asked what I like about Autumn, for an article someone was putting together. I said if I listed all the things I like about Autumn, it would be the article. There would be no room for anything else.
This is the time of year when I start to yearn for Autumn to arrive. Sometimes I have to head north to experience it because it takes centuries to reach Florida.

As I stated some of the obvious things, such as the cold air, wearing layers, scarves, mitts, boots, a mug of coffee warming my hands before I drink it, going inside to warm-up, making soup, baking, warm aromas of cinnamon, clove, all-spice, thyme, roasted pumpkin seeds, family gatherings, being outside a lot, going for a run and not melting, the lack of humidity, snuggling with a blanket on the sofa, seeing my breath outside, a fire in the fireplace, taking long walks, driving with the windows down, crisp air, leaves crunching under my feet.....I realized that there isn't anything I could think of about Autumn that I don't like.

And now, I just have to wait.....wait for Autumn to arrive....Unless I head north first.

Running Toward Truth

You were running well. Who hindered you from obeying the truth? This persuasion is not from him who calls you. -Galatians 5.7-8

We are made to ask tough questions of ourselves sometimes. When we have hit a snag in our lives and we know something is askew. When we have let ourselves give in to the persuasion of others. When we find ourselves feeling so distraught by the uncontrollable things of this world.

This is when we have to slow our running pace, and come to a halt to determine what it is that got us running toward something other than truth. Whatever that persuasion is, whether it is material, intangible, or a person, it has been leading us away from truth and our minds are accumulating the falsehoods. Test what you encounter against the Bible. Does it go against a Biblical truth? Run away from it.

We should be running toward the people, ideas, and pursuits that promote truth. The things that stir your soul and get you inspired to use everything you have for God's glory.

Never Forgotten

You're never forgotten wherever you are

You're a child of God, even if He seems far

When the doubts grow beyond your capacity to hold

When you discover every time you keep God in the cold

The plan breaks to pieces and you're on your knees

Gathering bruises and wishing someone would see

The pain that lingers which time cannot heal

Your whole world shivers on an evening so still

Yet this darkness is preparing you for the sun

Let love abide; His work has already begun

Printing Press

My Dad, working the printing presses for Sunshine Press, Venice

I have been thinking lately about my love for the written word. The written and printed word, in bound books. It's no wonder I love printed and bound books. My Dad worked the printing presses for years. First, at Sunshine Press, where my Mom worked as well. Then, at the hospital for something like 20 years until they closed the print shop. I remember visiting him many times at the hospital print shop. It was a separate building across the street. The machines were huge, and loud, and the doors were always wide open to the outside to keep some circulation through the rooms.

Dedication page from one story I wrote using a journal Dad made.
Looking at my handwriting, this is probably from 5th grade.

When I was in Elementary and Middle School, Dad would use leftover colored paper to bind some blank journals for me. He knew I loved to write stories, and I used several of them, filling them with my fictional tales. It just casts more light on the love Dad had for me, and I wish....oh I wish I could sit and talk with him.

Today marks 2 years since we lost him, but it is in the everyday reminders that I think of him and come up with even more examples of ways he showed his love for me. The missing him doesn't go away. Time doesn't change that. But I reflect on the love he showed throughout my life and give thanks to God for such a man to be my Dad.

Feather

A feather floating by my eyes

Wanders aimlessly with the wind

It can't see where its going

Or when it might come back again

While dancing in the breeze

It enjoys vistas from an elm

When at last resting on a limb

Somewhere outside its realm

No point to the ventures

Just riding along with no remorse

Are we sometimes like feathers

With no passion to stay the course?

Thoughts Drift Across the Sea

Tynemouth Castle and Priory Ruins on the North Sea, England

Ink touches down to the page

Bringing these thoughts around again

Jettisoning me out of this place

And using up this fine pen

Oft my thoughts drift across the sea

To rolling green hills and barren mounts

Dramatic cliffs, bluebells, and ruins

And more train lines than one can count

Mix ancient history with muted hues

And culture bright with stories and lore

Such age, deep tradition, keeps my attention

These intrigues leave me wanting more

Lamp of Light

Durham, England

And we have something more sure, the prophetic word, to which you will do well to pay attention as to a lamp shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts...

-2 Peter 1.19

No matter what dark place we are in, the Word of God is our lamp of hope. We can trust in everything we read because God orchestrated the writings across centuries creating one book of instruction, wisdom, poetry, warning, prophesy, and history. These words were all inspired by God and He made sure the content included provides us the nourishment we need. A timeless collection written from many different angles of time, location, and person. Yet the truth all remains consistent across these varied contributors.

We can be confident these words are all truly God's Word because if it was all just a passing craze like we are used to seeing these days, the book would have faded from humanity as the world changed. But the Bible has outlasted it all, and it will continue to do so.
G.K. Chesterton wrote, in Orthodoxy,  "If our faith had been a mere fad of the fading empire, fad would have followed fad in the twilight, and if the civilization ever re-emerged (and many such have never re-emerged) it would have been under some new barbaric flag."

Here, we can find truth, meaning, and understanding for our lives. We will see purpose and gifts that God had given others and reflect upon how God wants to use our own tiny lives in His plans.
We are meant to think, ponder, and reflect on these words and let them sink into our souls. Take little passages at a time and think about what God wants us to learn today from these words written on parchment centuries ago.

The Northernness

Magdalen College, Oxford- C.S. Lewis' rooms are marked by red flowers on the windowsill of 3 windows near the center. Can you spot them? (click on the the photo to enlarge)

The "northernness", as C.S. Lewis calls it, is that which he searched for during the many years he was an atheist. It was "joy". Something he longed for but couldn't find. The northernness was an "indescribable intensity of heart-breaking longing."

Then, in 1926, Lewis met J.R.R. Tolkien at Oxford University where they were both professors of English literature. Tolkien invited Lewis to join him in meeting with other friends, and soon Lewis was listening to Tolkien read his current story aloud so it could be critiqued. A group started doing this each week, they called themselves The Inklings. They met at The Eagle and Child Pub or in Lewis' rooms at Magdalen College. They would bring their writings and read it to the others, where encouragement and good-hearted conversation was ensued into the evening. Tolkien said later that if it wasn't for Lewis' encouragement, he would never have completed The Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Lewis was surrounded by Christians, yet he had not put the puzzle pieces together in his own life. He was perplexed by the other men who all believed in the good and gracious God. After dinner on September 19, 1931, Tolkien, Lewis, and another friend walked around the college gardens until 4 AM talking, and Lewis finally realized and accepted that God was God, and thus began his new journey as a Christian. He had found joy.

This story is so inspiring to me, as a Christian, a writer, a lover of literature, lover of Oxford, a person interested in encouraging relationships, and good talks. The spirit of these men is contagious, even in today's modern approach to friendships. Today is the 80 year mark of when Lewis accepted God into his heart. Oh, how much has changed in the world in 80 years, but all our needs are still the same. We can attach ourselves to this modern age and all the ideals, false promises, lies, and tricks to lure us away, or we can choose to live a deeper, more meaningful life that is centered on God instead of this world. It is getting to be more and more difficult as everything around us tries to distract us, but we can avoid most of it, and embrace the northernness in our lives, with God. It is by God all things are created, and through God all things are held together.

Weather

Alnwick Castle, England

It is an awkward day of heat and sun

The beckoning autumn just begun

Causing my soul to contemplate

The enticements and all the bait

Like a prelude I know is playing

That doesn't reach where I am staying

I hearken, but too far away

Are the blissful sounds of play

I pause and ponder the time

Wishing this place could redefine

Alterations I cannot make

Indeed, removal of this stake

An unnamed spot of which I pine

There is where the weather is fine

Pieces

A page from my journal, 2007

Your soul has a curious shape because it is a hollow made to fit a particular swelling in the infinite contours of the Divine substance, or a key to unlock one of the doors in the house with many mansions. For it is not humanity in the abstract that is to be saved, but you- you, the individual reader...

-C.S. Lewis

Sometimes I just feel like I am just scattered in pieces. Not always sure of where those pieces are supposed to fit, I am left with a new puzzle in my head. And as I try to fit the puzzle together, there's a missing piece. And it's my fault I leave that piece out. It's my fault when a piece falls crooked so it doesn't fit with the piece next to it. It's all due to my own resistance. 

One reason I love keeping a journal is to go back later and flip through those pages full of my thoughts and occasional sketches, like the one above. I am no artist. In fact, if you saw some of the other drawings, you'd laugh and think a child drew them. Reading my journals from years ago either makes me laugh, remember good times or struggles I went through, or be thankful for the wisdom I have gained since then. It also brings into perspective all that I still have to learn. 

C.S. Lewis always brings me back to the truth of the matter. Of course I have trouble putting the puzzle together. Of course there is a piece missing, or the hollow spot, where only the Divine will fit. The more I try to fit my own plans into that space, it won't fit. Try as I might. But I have to surrender that piece to God. I can't claim it for myself at all. And once I give that space to God, He will use it. Get ready...

Awaken

The artistic mind gathers dust

 if not used

A similar scenario with anything,

I mused

When surrounded by dark clouds

and such drear

The music, we oftentimes

cannot hear

When our sight is shortened

and colors fade

It is cumbersome to enjoy 

all God has made

Awaken! And shake the dust

from your feet

And think about the goodness

you are about to meet

Actions We Take

In all the daily choices we make

We are reflected in the actions we take

How is it we let others see

Our true colors in consistency

We waver and bend

And barely notice the descend

As the integrity slides from grip

The wisdom once held will slip

Until noting the fall

Then we answer the call

And delve back the core we still have 

Events that Shape Us

The Chrysler Building

As our country took time to remember the 10 year anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, I thought about how in some ways it seems like the event was ages ago and many things have changed. But in quite a lot of ways, it still feels like yesterday. It kept our country in shock for a long time. The history of our lives was being written, changed, sorted by tragedy that we didn't fully comprehend. How could we?

We are shaped by events that grip us in uncertainty and fear. A choice is set before us, as to which way we are to be shaped. Are we shaped for good, with love as our guide? Or shaped with hatred, seeking revenge? Do not let the evils of this world dictate your life. By doing so, you are giving into that evil, which is exactly what it wanted.

I remember the first time I flew after 9/11. March 2003 with my brother Jason, to New York City. It was 18 months after the hijacked planes flew into the towers, and things were different, but the questions still lingered- would it happen again? Was there another attack planned?

I was learning that in order to enjoy the blessed life God has given me, I cannot live in fear of the "what if....."

So, Jason and I headed to New York City. As our plane neared the city, I sat there thinking about all those people who were in the hijacked planes and how they saw what I was now looking at just before they died. The vibrant, diverse, expansive, and historic city that my plane approached. 

It was a humbling experience. One that also helped me jump over that hurdle of fear. I took a deep breath and realized that I wasn't scared of what lie ahead. I am certain my many prayers during the flight eased my worries, but that moment of realizing the fears did not control me was like being released from a tiny prison cell. Free!

I had the best time in New York City with Jason. We walked so much each day that my legs ached as I got into bed, but I didn't care. We took the wrong subway and ended up in Queens when we meant to go to Broadway. I stood in front of the Tiffany & Co. window gazing at the ridiculously expensive jewelry like Audrey Hepburn in "Breakfast at Tiffany's", except it was snowing and was 18 degrees. I stepped into the New York Public Library with wide eyes. We went inside the Chrysler Building and felt like we'd been transported into the 1930s when it was built. We visited the Guggenheim, Frank Lloyd Wright's well-known building (his last one before he died), and stared at the art we didn't understand, but marveled at the architecture. And we watched, from our hotel window, a big group of anti-war protesters marching down the street to the UN, only 4 blocks from our hotel.

Oh the tales we have to cherish of such an incredible city.

God is Always There

Just a few thoughts from my journal dated 9/13/2001 (senior year of High School):

"This is something I will never forget- I will always remember where I was when I found out. I was in 2nd period with my friend Danielle. Accounting class. We had heard rumors of a plane crashing into the World Trade Center tower, but they were rumors and we have no idea of any details. Then the teacher next door came in the room and told us what was going on in New York. I will always remember feeling my heart fall into my feet. I didn't even know what to think- who would ever expect to hear something like this? Suddenly my normal school day and laughs with Danielle became a day of sadness, questions, worry, and crying for others. Since the TV in our class didn't work, we quickly moved to the other classroom we sometimes used. 

Sitting there in front of the TV finding out what happened and seeing the scenes unfold before me made me feel sick. Danielle and I had tears in our eyes. I was scared. Scared about what it meant for our lives...In memory of this tragic day, I suggest turning to Psalm 119. 49-72. It is the country's prayer for strength, hope, and comfort. I say we all need to remember in these sad times that God is faithful and loving to us even when evil is present. God is there. Turn to Him."

God is there, even when evil is present.

God is faithful, even when there seems to be no hope.

God is powerful, even when we seem to have lost it all.

The truth is - God is always there.

Prayer in Fog

Isle of Skye, Scotland

I can scarcely imagine a minute or two

Without the consolation of having you

Stand with me as these trials appear

A fog hangs with me, but to you it's clear

The step I should take and the path to follow

Please guide me that way, cause movement tomorrow

For my hope is alive and my faith is true

Thy will be done is my prayer to You

Quotes

Hey Friends... Check out my new quotes page!! (Click on "Quotes" above)

Oftentimes in the course of my reading, I come across some lines that make me think, smile, or almost exclaim out loud "So true!"

These snippets are usually at my fingertips, whether underlined in my books or written in my journal, and I thought I would open my books and maintain a page of quotes that are worthy of a few readings. So, check it out from time to time. I will keep adding quotes to the page.

Quotes can speak volumes in just a few lines.

Silence Speaks Loud

Where silence should speak loud, we speak instead. Where words of love would heal we do not dare to voice them: from sound and silence both have fled.

-Madeleine L'Engle

These lines have always been my favorites of Madeleine L'Engle's. A great, creative writer, Madeleine has a way of showing the reader something ordinary in an artistic, thoughtful way. She gets me thinking differently, which is partly why I love reading her books. Whether fiction or non-fiction. In just a few sentences she articulates the issue from both sides in a thought provoking context.

How many of us keep silent when we should speak? Or speak when we should encourage the silence?
I have observed that silence makes most people uncomfortable. I use those silent moments to take in other people. I like to see how they react to pauses in conversation. The majority of people will fill any silent moment with random comments when sometimes they lose the fact that a pause in a conversation can speak volumes. There might be a meaningful silence that someone is filling with rubbish right now.

And on the other side, sometimes we are given the opportunity to show love through our words and we let that chance slip by. Our words can bring comfort, encouragement, wisdom, ideas, and love. There might be something that other person needs to hear. But your words should be chosen with care, for once spoken, they cannot be taken back. Tell someone not to think about elephants, and what do they immediately think about? Elephants.That person may not be ready to think about elephants.

Planting Trust

Hiking in North Carolina

So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth.

1 Corinthians 3.7

We can do all the planning, planting, urging, and prep work, but nothing is going to come to fruition that God does not want. How cruel is God, then, to hinder us from something we try to obtain? Why should we follow God if He takes those seedlings away? Or doesn't allow something to grow? We live in a culture where we are told we deserve so-and-so to happen. We have earned it, with all our toil and trouble, so we are to believe.

May I bring the not-so-gentle reminder that God is only taking away that which we never deserved or had. Everything we have is a gift, which we did nothing to earn. Thankfully, the grace we are given is not something we can earn more of or lose. If we look at this world from the perspective that this is a training ground, we see that it is not so bad. But if we expect all our aspirations to come true in this broken place and that we deserve certain things to happen, we will be severely disappointed. As C.S. Lewis writes, "I am beginning to find out that what people call the cruel doctrines are really the kindest ones in the long run. I used to think it was a "cruel" doctrine to say that troubles and sorrows were "punishments." But I find in practice that when you are in trouble, the moment you regard it as a "punishment" it becomes easier to bear...Imagine a set of people all living in the same building. Half of them think it is a hotel, the other half think it is a prison. Those who think it a hotel might regard it as quite intolerable, and those who thought it was a prison might decide that it was really surprisingly comfortable."

So why, then, should we trust in God, who may or may not fulfill all our hopes, dreams, and wants? Since He is omnipresent, omniscient, creator of the universe, painter of our sky, and knows how many eyelashes I have, I'd say with all my heart and soul that He knows what is best for each of us. That's how I can trust.

Dust

Tynemouth Beach, UK

Scattering among a dust cloud this morn

Contemplations break, then are reborn

Fusing patterns along the ground

As the dust finally settles down

Formulating arrays of distinct thoughts

Generous notions once fought

Are now displayed in the sand

But I cannot read another's hand

His thoughts are higher than mine

So the sequences in the line

Look like foreign language to me

Instead of troubling to try and see 

That which my eyes don't yet know

In faith I shall see where this will go

In following, the light will guide each turn

In stopping, the dust will swirl and churn

Flag for Thought

As I drove to church yesterday morning, I took the scenic route, going partially around Lake Hollingsworth like I always do. Before I turned into the Florida Southern campus, I passed a man running along the lake wearing a U.S. Army tee-shirt and holding up in one arm a very large U.S. flag attached to a metal pole. My first thought was how tired his arm must be, but then I began to wonder why he chose to display his patriotism in that manner. I assumed he must love this country and probably has experiences and stories to share about why he feels that way. He was alone and I wonder how many people stopped him to ask why he was running holding up a large flag. Perhaps to show his support of this country in such a bad economic time where the effectiveness of our government is brought into question often as we are caught in this stagnant rut. Perhaps to remind people of the honorable men and women who serve and protect this country no matter what the economy looks like. We are all abiding by our government's rules and laws, as we should because they are allowed by God. I am just thankful that I can trust in God and everything He promises and I don't have to worry about trusting and relying on any government or politician's promises. Then I read Jesus' thoughtful response to those who tried to trap him with their questions about authority.

Then Jesus spoke to the crowds and to his disciples. "The teachers of the Law and the Pharisees are the authorized interpreters of Moses' Law. So, you must obey and follow everything they tell you to do; do not, however, imitate their actions, because they don't practice what they preach. They tie onto people's backs loads that are heavy and hard to carry, yet they aren't willing even to lift a finger to help them carry those loads. They do everything so that people will see them. 

-Matthew 23.1-5

Phantom Bliss

I trust not to thy phantom bliss,

Yet, still, in evening's quiet hour,

With never-failing thankfulness,

I welcome thee, Benignant Power;

Sure solacer of human cares,

And sweeter hope, when hope despairs!

-Emily Brontë

For a long time, my brother Jason's friend, Renee, referred to my other brother, Ryan, as the "phantom brother" because the rest of us had met her and hung out with her on several occasions, and yet somehow she hadn't met Ryan or my sister-in-law, Sam. She heard all about them and knew they existed somewhere, but they remained elusive. Not intentionally, of course. But we would joke with her about our phantom brother. Until they all finally met, and he was no longer a phantom.

Sometimes I feel like certain things in my life are like what Emily Brontë refers to as 'thy phantom bliss'. That elusiveness surrounding the things I hope for. I ascertain from her words similar feelings of my own. Tiny glimpses of that future bliss, which is not concrete or fully developed, so it is a phantom. And at times the hope that I cling to so tightly falls into despair. While specific hopes crack occasionally under the uncertainties that creep in, behind the scenes I am unaware of what pieces God is placing in the perfect spot so that they bring the circumstances needed for the next step in His plans for me. And unbeknownst to me, tomorrow could hold one bright answer to my questions!

So that crack in my hope is being filled by thankfulness. Emily Brontë calls it 'never-failing', and I pray that my thankfulness is never-failing because I have everything to be thankful for. I recognize in myself when I lose sight of that thankfulness. God has use for this time and it should not be wasted. How can He use me later if I am lost in despair now? Being thankful for gifts brings a joyful heart because when you are thinking about the cool breeze, the radiant sunset, the hilarious old lady in the check-out line, listening to live music, or laughing with a good friend, you are filled with God's loving abundance rather than your despairing thoughts. It's not easy, though, and oftentimes I need a little encouragement to back on track.
I thank God for those people who are in my life who do this for me. If you have listened to my despairs and given me your time and thoughts, you are my encouragement, and I am thankful. We all need that sometimes.

Check out the new issue of Catapult Magazine! The topic is "Let's Get Together", the gift of community. I wrote a new article for the magazine!
http://www.catapultmagazine.com/

Good Morning

The real problem of the Christian life comes where people do not usually look for it. It comes the very moment you wake up each morning. All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in. And so on, all day. Standing back from all your natural fussings and frettings; coming in out of the wind. 

                                                  -C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity 

It's so true, isn't it? You wake up and immediately think about what you need to do today. Your mind races, trying to compile the lists in your head. If I have vivid dreams like I have been experiencing lately, I will lay there for a minute or two and re-compile the dream in my head, trying to remember the details.

My next step is to grab an outfit from my closet. Sometimes that takes a little bit of thinking if I just stand there staring at my clothes and no ideas come to mind. 

I actually like mornings. It's a fresh start. New day. Plenty of time to do good things. My mind is clear. And my mind starts working really well after a cup of coffee.

Mornings can become a crazy hectic rush to get out the door for most people. Too much to do in a short time before work. I only have myself to get ready. No kids to feed and dress. So, I've got it pretty easy because I can sit and eat some cereal and yogurt before I head out.

I do prefer mornings as a reflection time. I love when I have time to brew some coffee, open my journal and Bible, and just enjoy the peace and quiet. My brain waking up, reading the Bible. There is no better thing.

Guten Morgen.

Give Me All

The Christian way is different: harder and easier. Christ says, "Give me All. I don't want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much of your work: I want You. I have not come to torment your natural self, but to kill it. No half-measures are any good. I don't want to cut off a branch here and a branch there. I want to have the whole tree down. I don't want to drill the tooth, or crown it, or stop it, but to have it out. Hand over the whole natural self, all the desires which you think innocent as well as the ones you think wicked- the whole outfit. I will give you a new self instead. In fact, I will give you Myself: my own will shall become yours."

-C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

An old co-worker came back to visit the office today. He is always the talkative, social, fun-loving guy. He was talking with a few of us near our desks about how he was on his way to visit his sister for her 21st birthday, and the partying they were going to do. Most of us just roll our eyes as he goes on about it because we know he drinks a lot and likes to party with any chance he gets. And then he said his sister asked him to bring his church clothes for Sunday.

An older lady, who sits near my desk was listening to the conversation and she made some comments about how church boys cannot be trusted. She wondered out loud how someone can regularly go to church and then get drunk on other nights? It didn't make sense to her, and she's not a Christian. That bothered me because this is her perception of a guy who says he's a Christian, when all his actions do not show it.

The more I thought about it, the more it bothered me. As a Christian, I know everyone sins and falls short, but when your lifestyle (which you choose all for yourself) reflects chasing girls, drinking, &c...look at the perception the name "Christian" is getting. That these things are somehow acceptable....

If you say you are a Christian, you should want to make the lifestyle choices that reflect the beliefs, morals, and values of a Christian, otherwise you are mis-representing what we believe. And that actually detours people from wanting to learn more about the loving God.

What draws people to Christianity, what makes them curious to know more, is seeing Christians who stand up for what is right, who resist temptation, who show kindness when they are treated with disrespect, who hold their tongues, and who make it through tough times with their head on their shoulders and hope alive. They will wonder why and how we choose to live this way.

God doesn't just want parts of your life. He wants all of it, and if you aren't willing to let the Creator of the universe mold you and guide you, then don't walk around claiming you are a Christian. These are harsh words, I know. And none of us can fully live up to this. Yet, God calls us to be perfect, which means, we have a lot of work to do. If you aren't moving forward, closer to God, then you are speeding away....