Incognito

We may ignore, but we can nowhere evade the presence of God. The world is crowded with Him. He walks everywhere incognito. And the incognito is not always hard to penetrate. The real labour is to remember, to attend. In fact, to come awake. Still more, to remain awake.

-C.S. Lewis, Letters to Malcolm

To go through the day with this in mind changes ones perspective. It makes me remember to open my eyes and pay attention. I have been trying to do more of that, anyway. You know, pay attention, smile and be friendly to strangers, and show everyone kindness. People stop me to ask for directions quite a bit, and I always oblige. I sometimes wonder if I just got them lost, though. If someone holds the door for me, I thank them and smile. Don't underestimate simple manners. Have I met God in some of these people? Have I ignored God? The latter question is the one that cuts deep when I realize that I know I have.

Most days during my lunch break I take a walk down to the lake and sit and read, then walk back. Getting out and about has presented me many opportunities to get fresh air, get to walk, and possibly help someone with something simple. Like information about downtown, or directions.  What a thought to imagine God walking down by the lake, too. Is He the homeless person sitting on a bench with bags of possessions? Or the visitor who clearly looks like he's from the north? Or the business person walking around talking on his cell phone?

Unveiled

Unseen it sits on a gentle sea

Waiting, in patience, for me

Unclear of direction, I'm rather slow

And I'm guarding my heart as I go

Untold is the story I enter into

Where my soul seeks what is true

Unknown, I drift along the endless blue

Quietly desperate to be known by You

Unfold Your plans and map me a line

Where my life and gifts beautifully combine

Unveiled will everything be in due time

Thankfully, in Your time, not mine.

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Our Giving Tree

Each Wednesday night I volunteer at my church's little store called "Our Giving Tree." It is a unique bookstore/gift shop that, in addition to books, sells fair-trade products handmade around the world. All the profits go to missions.

This Wednesday, we kept busy in the store sorting cards, talking to customers, and sneaking a plate of food from the new members class in the room next door (we were so hungry and it all smelled so good). Other people stopped by just to say hi. I get to meet and talk to such a myriad of people, it's really quite fun. You never know who is going to stop in, or what they might be looking for. And there's always going to be interesting subjects discussed.

I left "Our Giving Tree" last night amidst the strange, warm January air.  I walked outside and saw the moon was a slim crescent, shaped like a bowl, about to catch Venus, which was bright and clear.

The beauty of life from many angles. It is all around. In the church gift shop, above us in the night sky, and many places we overlook as we hurry through our week.

Wake Up, Oh Sleeper

Besides this you know the time, that the hour has come for you to wake from sleep. For salvation is nearer to us now than when we first believed.

-Romans 13.11

The Gospels tell us of it. The Disciples all thought that Jesus would return and the world end in their lifetime, so their sense of urgency is obvious through their talks. They preached to the people to be ready, to be prepared, to not waste time in drunkenness and stupidity. Most people don't want to think about the inevitable. It's like avoiding going to the dentist when you sense something is wrong. Sooner or later you're just going to have to believe that the work you do to try to keep your teeth healthy is not enough. The dentist needs to handle it for you. The work we try to do in our lives is not enough to maintain a healthy soul. God needs to handle it for you.

But the point is to let God handle that for you now, as the time will come like a thief in the night, and nobody will know when that will be. so we are to stay awake, alert, and prepare ourselves by following Jesus, reading Scripture, and living the Word.

Live the Questions

You are so young, so before all beginning, and I want to beg you, as much as I can, dear sir, to be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answers.  

-Rainer Maria Rilke

Rise Up and Build

The Town Walls of York, England

"Do not be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes."
Nehemiah 4.14

Nehemiah's dream was to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. The city had fallen and many of the citizens were taken captive. Whenever you have set out to fulfill your dream, do you ever come across opposition? So did Nehemiah.

Now when Sanballat heard that we were rebuilding the wall, he was angry and greatly enraged, and he jeered at the Jews. And he said in the presence of his brothers and of the army of Samaria, "What are these feeble Jews doing?... (Nehemiah 4.1-2)

There will always be plenty of naysayers and people who try to get in your way. But don't lose hope and don't give up when you fail the first time, the second time, or the thirtieth time. That is a hard thing to do. I know. When I remember the good that I can do through the gifts God has given me, I know good will come out of it. I know God will lead me in the right direction if I keep going, even through failure and discouragement.

People can jeer. They can think that I won't succeed, but my dream isn't there for nothing. It has purpose. It's part of God's plan for me. He is directing my path with these dreams I have in my heart.

I look ahead with joy at the thought that God is actively getting the path readied for me. The same is being done for you. He is setting up the people and the situations so that it all rolls out in His time. And those things in your way won't even matter. Lord, please help me follow only Your path. Keep my focus on You.

You Didn't Know You Were a Poet

The light of poetry us bit only a direct but also a reflected light, that while it shows us the object, throws a sparkling radiance on all around it.

-William Hazlitt

Poetry is the language of the imagination.

Poetry is not just letters written on a page with rhyming words and short verses. There are so many different ways of composing poetry. I have read song lyrics that are absolutely beautiful poetry. Unexpectedly deep and thoughtful. And I am drawn in.

Every once in a while, I catch my friends or family, who don't really have an interest in poetry, describing something meaningful to them with such lyrical expression, they don't even realize how poetical they are being. I love noticing those moments, and pointing it out. I am amazed by the spoken poetry, impromptu style.

In nature, poetry is all around. Look at the morning rise, the glimmer of dew, the intricate patterns of creatures, the perfection of a flower, the fog nestled in the valley, the monarch butterfly dancing in the breeze. Smell the opening flowers in the morning, the scent after rain, the fresh dirt. And hear the owl talk to you in the evening, the rustle of grass, or the slush of fresh snow.

We are all poets if we tap into our imagination and pay attention to that which we see, hear, feel, and smell. You may not write down your words, but the poem expands through you as you observe and appreciate.

Birthday of my Life

Raise me a dais of silk and down;
Hang it with vair and purple dies;

Carve it in doves and pomegranates,

And peacocks with a hundred eyes;

Work it in gold and silver grapes,

In leaves and silver fleurs-de-lys;

Because the birthday of my life

Is come, my love is come to me.

-Christina Rossetti (1857)

Here Goes...

A man's opinion on tram cars matter; his opinion on Botticelli matters; his opinion on all things does not matter. He may turn over and explore a million objects, but he must not find that strange object, the universe; for if he does he will have a religion, and be lost. Everything matters- except everything.
-G.K. Chesterton, Heretics





Jesus says-
You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life, and it is they that bear witness about me, yet you refuse to come to me that you may have life.
-John 5.39-40

It's like living a lukewarm life. The most dangerous kind- where we get comfortable in ourselves and don't have the desire to make any real decisions. Or real moves. No passion. Won't stand up for something.

With an attitude of 'just do what makes you happy' the loss of any real decision runs deeper than the nonchalant demeanor shows. That attitude is simply avoiding looking into the depths of the soul and finding a hole that is needing to be filled by God.

It is in the passions and taking chances with the gifts we are given that we learn more deeply about ourselves and how to love others. Through many learning processes (including failures) we come away grown in wisdom and hopefully, love.

Here goes nothing
Here goes everything
Gotta reach for something
Or you'll fall for anything
Take a breath, take a step
What comes next, God only knows
-Bebo Norman

Listen to the song, here.

Eucatastrophe

Gandalf put his hand on Pippin's head. "There never was much hope, " he answered, "Just a fool's hope."

-Return of the King, J.R.R. Tolkien

Everyone already knows, I think, how bookishly nerdy I am. So, I might as well go deeper still, and share even more of my bookworm revelations.
In college, I took mostly accounting and business classes, but there was something I loved about my required English classes. Oh, that's right. I love to read and write. I wasn't the straight "A" English student, but the departure from the constant business outlook was refreshing for me. Once my required English classes were satisfied, I missed reading long poems and trying to decipher them, and writing essays, and working on my grammar. So I took an English class on J.R.R. Tolkien. Yep. A whole class studying the writings of J.R.R. Tolkien. I kind of stuck out in that class. I was the only accounting/business major. I was the only person who wasn't an English or Art major. And I loved it. Dr. Bruce teased me, saying he probably drove me crazy by being disorganized and jumping from subject to subject. He assumed I loved order and straight lines since I was an accounting major. And I did. But I wanted to add some curves to my straight lines and make them jump away from the box.

A word I learned during the course of the class, was a word Tolkien coined. Eucatastrophe. It is the opposite of catastrophe. The sudden, unexpected turn from bad to good. If you know the The Lord of the Rings, you know the battle at the Black Gate and how everything is at its most dire. Everything points to disaster. And suddenly a happy turn in the story. Tolkien used this literary device to build the tension to such a high point, and then release it like a sling shot showering a sudden good turn of events.

Reading these beautifully crafted stories by Tolkien and discussing the eucatastrophe, I began to relate it to life. Isn't it possible that we experience eucatastrophe sometimes? Just when we think we can't take any more failure, sadness, rejection. Just when we  think our situation couldn't get worse, and we are about to give up. It happens. The sudden good opportunity. The good news. The unexpected blessing.

Keep hope alive. Live in the moment and trust that everything is in good hands. You may be in a dark time right now, or an uncertain time, but a eucatastrophe is possible at any moment.

Plans are Hemmed In

I just finished knitting this cowl, my first knitting project

You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

it is high; I cannot attain it.

Psalm 139. 5-6

Something that has always comforted me about God is how He already knows the desires of my heart. He created me, so He planted those gifts and passions, knowing how He wanted to use me in this world. As I embrace these gifts, I know God will provide the proper outlets for me to share, to grow, and to gain wisdom through these things.

And I love that, despite all my internal grumbling and groaning about my desires not yet coming to pass, God still loves me. I keep in faith and know that God's plans are good and full of joy. God loves me no matter what I may grumble about, or what I may sing praises about. His love is not conditional based upon my current emotion. Thank God for that!

Truly, I am a mess when it comes down to it; fringed at the ends and unraveling in places. But God can use my unraveled ends to knit a new, beautiful piece.

Thanks Grandma

Last week, my Grandma sent me an early birthday card, and this angel was in the envelope. The card came a few weeks early. I guess my Grandma was just ahead of herself this year. The last time my family visited with Grandma was in July, when we vacationed in North Carolina. We drove over to visit with her one day. She was bouncing with energy, and sharp with her dry, witty humor. She lives in a small mobile home and doesn't have any money to spare, and yet she always wants to be generous in whatever way she can. She never lets us leave her home empty handed. So she will busy herself by running to her closet to find things to give us. Usually my Mom ends us with some used slippers or a rain coat that doesn't fit. She also sends us a box of gifts for Christmas each year.  We never know what we will find when we open the box. This year in the Christmas box she mailed, we got loads of candy, a broken (and used) candle stick, a few washcloths, and Little Debbie snack cakes. Tyler's girlfriend, Patience, made out the best. She took the washcloths for her college dorm.

Every once-in-a while, though, a sweet little gift comes along. And I know very well this angel probably came from her closet, or a flea market, but it is sweet all the same. She probably enjoyed rummaging around for something she thought I would like. The fabric has a tulip on it, which is my favorite flower. So, the angel adorns my doorknob in my bedroom. And I think of Grandma when I open and close this door. And that is the point. She wanted to do something thoughtful, and she certainly did.
Thanks for thinking of me, Grandma.

Morning Reprieve

A morning reprieve
Is it safe to leave

To return to the bustle

Of the day waiting?

I am reluctant to enter

For here I am centered

And I know the world

Wants to tip me over.

Lord, please pour into me

Fullness of joy in simplicity

So in man's complexities

I am resilient.

No Words Fall

And Samuel grew, and the Lord was with him and let none of his words fall to the ground.
-1 Samuel 3.19

The words we use in speech and writing everyday creates a wordpile. Yes, we choose our words. Do we select them with care and thought? Or do we blurt out whatever comes to mind?

Sometimes it is challenging to be a thoughtful talker when the words just flow out of anger, frustration, or excitement. But sometimes we withhold our words appropriately until the proper time, and then select the words with care, and healing comes. Encouragement follows.

I am a pretty quiet person by nature, so I tend to talk less than most people. I write more than I talk. But even I have trouble selecting words that fit the occasion sometimes. Regret always follows, and silent interior reprimands ensue.

We are given the gift of words. We have so many to choose from, so why don't we choose words that don't fall to the ground, worthy only of being trampled on, but instead use words to mull over, embrace, teach and encourage. Even a few jokes can do that.

Haiti Mission

Another gift from my brother, brought back from Haiti

Can a little sister be proud of her big brother? Absolutely! Jason and the group from his church leave early in the morning for Haiti. When a loved one goes to a third world country, you get to see, through them, the perspective of the people there. The selflessness of the group going is inspiring. Not everyone can go on mission trips, of course, but right here, how can I do better to spread God's love in a way that impacts lives?

It grips me each time I see my brother's pictures and hear the stories about attending church there. They live in such poverty and yet captured in the pictures are faces of joy that comes from knowing God. They sing and dance in church as if there is a heavenly audience in attendance (I am sure there is). While many of us probably catch ourselves planning the rest of the day in our heads during a sermon, the churches in Haiti keep on praising God, for 3 hours. In a small building crowded with people. With no A/C. In the heat and humidity of the tropics.

Cultures are different across the globe, but the perspective of a mission trip brings to light priorities in life. It is probably pretty obvious to others what your priorities are. What do they see?

Dominoes

John answered, "A person cannot receive even one thing unless it is given him from heaven."
 -John 3.27

So, even though my soul may desire something specific to happen, I remind myself that what I have now is a gift, but God has the perfect timing for everything, and if it is meant to be, God will provide the opportunity. It will be at a place where it is obvious.

Yet that time hasn't come, and another task is at hand. To use this season of life. Don't waste a day. Don't get caught day dreaming about what could be, but instead, praise God daily for what is.

Just like we should not live in the past, we should not try to live in the future either. God is moving pieces into place. The rows of dominoes stacked close. But there are gaps here and there, where God is still at work before it is ready, and if a catalyst begins the domino train, it will stop prematurely at the gap. It won't be able to fulfill its full purpose.

Something good at the wrong time, is the wrong thing. Let that enter your train of thought for a minute or two.

If it's not set-up correctly, the dominoes will not fall into place as they are meant to, and we are back at square one, picking up the pieces. Let God work through you. Stop trying to make everything happen when you want. Let God place the pieces and provide the catalyst to start the dominoes.

Free to Go

Like a flood these rush of emotions come
Side-swiping me and leaving me numb

Left alone I get caught in the cleft

I succumb to sadness about what's left

In a sea, darkened, murky to peruse

I lose sight of what skills to use

All I can see is the sunrise glow

As the current glides away, letting me go

And I am adrift, in new thoughts deep

Wondering why I don't rest in sleep

It's a cycle we know, dressed in fear

Keeping us from seeing our faith clear

But as piercing as the morn can be

Only the Son of God can set us free

Live Unanswered Questions

The Bridge of Sighs, Oxford

Christ offered a bridge over the gap I felt, sitting there on the floor, between my self and my own soul. Between my God and me. I wanted to know God and to be known by Him- a relationship so intimate that there was no space between Him and my soul. -Carolyn Weber

I am so full of unanswered questions. Almost every aspect of my life is made up of questions that are waiting to receive an answer.
I finished reading Surprised by Oxford on my day off last Monday. It was a refreshing day, so I had my sliding glass door open all day, allowing in the chilled air from the north. My feet got cold as I read, so I put on my cool crochet slipper boots, and pulled on my Oxford University sweatshirt. Appropriate, I thought, since I am now concluding this book about a girl discovering God in Oxford while studying literature.

sit finis libri, non finis quaerendi

(Latin) Thomas Merton- "Let this be the ending of the book but by no means the end of the searching."

I am so sad to have finished reading this book. 440 pages was not enough. It makes me think of C.S. Lewis when he said, "you can't get a cup of tea big enough or a book long enough to suit me". This book is so inspiring to me, in many ways. It's not too shocking that one of my dreams is to study and live in Oxford, and this book is her journey through her first year as a literature grad student, which is what I would most desire to be as well. Her view as a North American parallels my own experiences in England, as she adjusts to the ways of the Brits. The language barrier from English to English is even a challenge. For instance, if someone asked you for a tuppence, you would have no idea what they wanted, right? They want two pence (or two cents). Or the street signs that can be confusing when you first encounter them. Or driving on the other side of the road (it messes with your head when you are first getting used to it).

I have been to many places in Oxford, but she goes to places I dream of going to. Like the reading room in the Radcliffe Camera, or freely walking about in the Duke Humphrey's Library (the oldest part of the Bodleian). You have to be a student to roam these places on your own. Other places, such as inside the colleges themselves, I only dream about exploring. Walks along the rivers and meadows. Chapels and cathedrals. Pubs and coffee shops. Reciting poetry from her classes throughout the writing. Connecting with new friends, some believers, some not. Lunch with professors who bestow such profound Christian wisdom, I have underlined all those passages in the book. Learning about life and what is truly important.

Her story inspires me to trust. To live the unanswered questions. To believe and live in faith because living for Christ is the most important thing. I think I am okay with having so many unanswered questions right now, because at the end of each question my Lord stands reminding me to not be anxious or afraid. Be of good cheer.

Sneezles

They asked if the sneezles
Came after the wheezles,
Or if the first sneezle
Came first.
They said, "If you teazle
A sneezle
Or wheezle,
A measle
May easily grow.
But humour or pleazle
The wheezle
Or sneezle,
The measle
Will certainly go.

-A.A. Milne, Sneezles

I definitely had the sneezles last week. It all began on New Year's Eve, so while everyone was out at a party ready to celebrate the new year, I was cozy on my couch with a blanket, a book, and a cup of hot tea. It only got worse from there, I am afraid. I had to carry my handkerchief in my pocket because my nose and eyes were so runny. And I don't think I have ever sneezed so much in my life.

At work it seemed to be the growing trend. Sneezing. At least every 10 minutes or so someone was saying "bless you" to someone else, and they, in turn, would be the next to sneeze. There is no remedy for the sneeze attacks. My remedy for soothing my throat, though, is hot tea with honey. Ahhhhh, it is true relief.

Another remedy is laughter. I think that is what A.A. Milne was getting at. You feel miserable when you are sick, so smiling and laughing eases the suffering (I am profoundly grateful to anyone who made me laugh while I was fighting the sneezles). Even though, it is just a simple cold and soon enough you are back to normal.

Cooking for One

My new apron Jason brought back from Haiti

I really enjoy cooking, but it is always a challenge because recipes usually make way too much for my huge crowd of one. So, I usually have to cut the recipe in half or tweak the ingredients. So, I tend to not measure everything. I'll just add a bunch of corn, or pour in some broth, or use a whole onion when the recipe calls for half an onion (who uses only half, I mean, really?). It is kind of fun and adventurous making my own version of a recipe I find. And usually, it turns out marvelously. The times it did not turn out marvelously, well, we can just pretend never happened.

Today I tried a new recipe: black bean & corn quinoa. Quinoa is pronounced keen-wa. This tasted absolutely delicious. I wouldn't be writing about it if it didn't!

I started with some olive oil in my new skillet (thanks to Ryan and Sam!) and added my chopped onion and a tablespoon of minced garlic (a garlic press is one of my new favorite things). Let that cook until the onion is brown. Sprinkle some Italian herbs and cumin. Pour in 3/4 (or 1 cup) cup rinsed and drained quinoa, and some salt. Stir for 5 minutes.
Add almost a full can of black beans, a good amount of frozen corn, and a can of vegetable broth. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, cover, and let cook for 20 minutes, or until the quinoa is fluffy.
Drizzle with some fresh squeezed lime juice when serving. Yum.

Is it Friday?

Do you ever wake up feeling so happy because it is Friday, which means the end of the workweek, and you can start your weekend planning in your head? Like sleeping in past 6:30. And isn't it the worst feeling when you wake up thinking it is Friday only come to find out when you turn off your alarm on your cell phone that it is, in fact, a whole day off?

'My cell phone must be wrong', I thought, 'it simply can't be Thursday. It feels too much like Friday.'

Indeed, it was Thursday. And even worse, I would catch myself throughout the day on Thursday thinking that it was Friday, and I had to remind myself that my pre-weekend excitement was too early...

But now it really is Friday and I may commence with my pre-weekend celebratory thoughts.

It made me think about how sometimes we can act like we know it all. We are so sure of ourselves that we are correct. We argue with someone and won't back down. We boast about our knowledge on something. Only come to find out that we are wrong. We talk on and on in what 1 Timothy 6.20 calls "irreverent babble and contradictions of what is falsely called 'knowledge'". Sometimes we need to just learn to listen. To let someone teach us and show us something.

I was wrong about the day. Okay, small example. I wasn't arguing with anyone besides my cell phone (the cell phone won the argument). But I have learned that it is okay to be wrong about things. I will freely admit that I don't know anything, really. Teach me. Show me. Involve me. I love learning.

Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct, let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. James 3.13

Seeped in Mystery

Filling our minds with clutter of the soul

Restricts ourselves from being whole

Attempting to ignore the falsities and lies

As we stumble through errors of our tries

If this were easy wouldn't we all flee?

From a truth lacking mystery amidst intimacy?

I'd like to embrace that which is seeped in mystery

With tiny reveals of wisdom as my eyes start to see

Forbidden Fruit

A thing of beauty is a joy forever:

Its loveliness increases; it will never

Pass into nothingness

-John Keats, Endymion

I am sitting in the garden reading Paradise Lost, and I just so happen to be at the part where, in this epic poem, it goes into detail about God creating the earth and the plants, animals, and first humans. How appropriate is that? I have the whole garden to myself, too, so I may be the only human...

And I am freezing cold. It is 41 degrees and windy. I love it. I am sitting on a stone chair, which is kind of like sitting on a block of ice, so the parts of me that touch this stone are the coldest.

A noise above me causes me to look up, and it is there that I notice a tall tree near me. I proceeded to see ripe starfruit dancing in the winds! The tree was full of orange-skinned fruits, glowing at me from above. I don't see a serpent trying to tempt me to eat thy forbidden fruit.  But now I am craving some starfruit.

No, actually, a hot drink. I will walk back to the office and make some Lady Grey Tea, with honey.

This day is absolute perfection, to me. I live for these kinds of days. Cold, clear, bright, dry. Vivid colors from earth to sky, and trees boasting starfruit. As I walked here, I kept saying little prayers of thankfulness, that this day is perfection. Thank you God. And now that I have been sitting here on this cold stone chair, I am freezing, so I will need to walk back to warm myself up a little bit, and I will thank God on my walk back, too.

This is what I love. Though, it is also what makes people look at me funny. There must be others out there who feel the way I do....I know of a few....

Puzzled?

Right before Christmas, I bought a little wooden puzzle cube called the Soma Cube. It is made up of 7 pieces and each piece is different. No two are the same, but there are many ways to fit the pieces together to form a cube. The instruction page says there are 240 ways in which to make a cube. Really? That's a lot!

I tested it myself. My first attempt took me about 5-6 minutes. It seems like it would be easy enough, but it is a challenge. I would get all pieces but one, and the last piece wouldn't complete the cube properly, so I would start over. We all love a good mystery, don't we? Well, the cube is mysterious, but now that I got it solved once, I can put the cube together (in different ways) in under a minute. But that first time was uncertain. Would the cube beat me? Would I be able to solve it?

I brought the cube home with me over Christmas to challenge my family. They all took their turn at putting the pieces together. It was so intriguing, to me, to watch how each person worked on solving the puzzle differently, and how it took certain people several days of trying to get it, while it took others a minute or two.

It all made me think about the mysteries of God, and why He chose to make us all so unique, even in the way we solve puzzles! I was reminded that our own puzzles in life are, likewise, handled differently. The mysteries in our lives attract our attention and sometimes it takes us a moment to solve it, while sometimes the mystery remains as such for months or years.

But there are many ways to put the puzzle together to form a complete cube. One way is not better than another, but in the end there is one cube.

In the end only one thing matters- that we live our lives for Christ. That our faith in Christ trumps all the mysteries we ever encounter. There are many paths to get to that point of complete trust, because we all have different ways of putting the puzzle pieces together. We place the piece in the spot we think it will fit best. Maybe it fits perfectly, or maybe we still need some more pieces to fall into place before we can see where that piece should go.

Then he added, "The question mark is a good metaphor for the Christian life. Trusting even when it's hard. Appreciating the mystery and being surprised by the joy." -Carolyn Weber

Gifts that Differ

The passion I have for writing and books is a gift, and it was prominent in me before I even knew how to read. I have always had words dancing around in my head, sometimes all day, forming stanzas in a poem yet to be written, or sentences racing through my mind as I experience something inspirational in the everyday. Before a pen gets to my hand, the words are set on repeat, like a new favorite song that you hum all day without realizing it. At times I can't write fast enough because the ideas and words just overflow. When I don't have the opportunity to write out my thoughts or musings, I feel like a page was ripped out of my journal. Writing is my memory. It contains my prayers. It is my outlet. My creative space.

Writing is a gift, that for many years, I never shared with anyone. I have journals full of stories, poems, and scribbles from middle school and high school that I never showed to anyone because I was embarrassed. Why was I hiding? I didn't think I had talent, and it's scary to share such personal thoughts with people. I didn't think anyone would be interested in it. I didn't see that what I love so much is a gift that is meant to be shared with others. It wasn't until 2007 when I decided to write and self-publish my first book, that I let people read my works. Most people didn't even know that I was so passionate about writing, and it resonated with them. Again, why was I hiding it? It has always been part of me. God made me this way for a purpose. That is, He wants me to share my gift. I am no bestselling author. If one person is encouraged and inspired by my writing, then I am being used properly. God can use to me to whatever capacity He wants. But nothing was possible until I was willing to share with people.

So what have you been hiding that is meant to be shared?
...So we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them... -Romans 12.5-6

Hope is a Strange Invention

A new year! 2012! May this new beginning be hopeful for you, full of ideas, inspiration, joy and God's blessings. Take part in learning and growing. I read this quote the other day from Benjamin Franklin, "Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn". Jump start your goals by taking a step. It doesn't have to be big. Have an open mind, and an open heart to love others.

Hope is a strange invention-

A patent of the heart-

In unremitting action

Yet never wearing out-

Of this electric adjunct

Not anything is known

But it's unique momentum

Embellish all we own-

-Emily Dickinson

You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
-Psalm 16.11