Mysterious Place

My favourite place of mystery: The Isle of Skye, Scotland

Have you ever been to a place that was so mysterious? A place that feels untouched and wild, yet somehow completely organized and perfect for every photo you take? A place where you can take two thousand photographs and never truly capture the scale and the air of mystery that surrounds you 360 degrees?

The Isle of Skye, Scotland was that for me. The atmospheric clouds, weather, and landscape was like I'd stepped into a dream. With rich hues of lush green, deep blue of the ocean, and the ever-changing blue sky or shuffling grey sky.

One moment to the next the view is shifting. From being thrilled by rocky cliffs that drop straight into the ocean to windy walks along them, and then when you turn around the mountains rise out of nowhere. They lack vegetation except lush green grass along sheer rocky rises.

A dramatic and spacious landscape with fewer people than sheep, one-track roads, and just a couple of tiny towns that have an inn, a cafe, and a petrol station. Ahhh, I dream of being in that mysterious place again where the wind whipped my hair as I stood in awe of our mysterious God who is present in every rock, mountain, and waterfall cascading off the cliffs tinted red.

The air of mystery never departed, and it only grew as the fog and clouds rolled between the mountains in minutes and cleared away just as quickly. I cannot find how anyone could visit such a place and not be sure of the existence of our Creator. The very essence of the place displays His creativity.

I wouldn't have this place any other way. Save for maybe less sheep wandering out into the road fairly often. But I suppose it is us that intrude on the land with our speedy cars.

Stronger Than Fear

Exactly what the fairy tale does is this: it accustoms him for a series of clear pictures to the idea that these limitless terrors had a limit, that these shapeless enemies have enemies, that these strong enemies of man have enemies in the knights of God, that there is something in the universe more mystical than darkness, and stronger than strong fear.

- G. K. Chesterton, Tremendous Trifles

I read these words of Chesterton's with eagerness and hope because it articulates so precisely what good tales do, and the reason why they are not only a source of entertainment. Along with the journey the reader takes from page to page, these kinds of stories offer hope through imagination. A reminder that the darkest dark is not dark to our Creator.

The fears that blow-up to huge balloons in our lives block our view of the truth, which is exactly what Satan wants. He wants us to lose hope and perceive that fear cannot be overcome. He feeds us that idea that the enemy cannot be defeated.
Who says?
Our enemy says.
And why would be listen to the taunts of our enemy?

Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth,
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.

-Isaiah 40.28

That means our Lord is unsearchable by Satan as well. Why should we fear?
This is what good tales remind us.
Our darkest time can be defeated. We don't have to be big and strong and powerful. Our Creator is all those things for us.

Quiet Weekend Notes

This might be the most delicious thing I have made. Seriously. Toasted English muffin bread, avocado, lime juice, cumin, tomato. Go out and make it now; you'll see.

I love taking photographs, so I pulled out and dusted off my little DSLR and shot a few interior home photographs just for fun. It has been far too long since I have really used this camera. I really want to go somewhere to take some real shots, but any practice is good.

My lovely friend made breakfast casserole and shared a piece with me. It was the most tasty casserole ever. I am so spoiled living next to Emily. Everything she cooks is incredible. I'd rather her cook than go to a restaurant. 

Just cutting some fresh Summer blooms from my landlord's yard. I only wanted Plumbago but he insisted on cutting many other varieties and getting me a jar to put a bunch in.

Treats

 Tea is a treat to me. Especially if it is one of my current favourites- rose tea or dandelion tea. They are both herbal teas, meaning they have no caffeine, meaning I can enjoy a nightly ritual of a cup of tea in one of my thrifted mugs that I have been collecting. Not only are the teas really healthy, but they help me relax and slow down for the evening.

This is a true homemade treat. Made by Emily, my friend and neighbor (who is an amazing chef). She came over the other evening for a cup of tea and had a plate in her hand with a slice of banana spice cake she had made. Oh. My. Goodness. This cake was delicious. I love banana flavoured anything, so this was an ideal dessert to me.

It is always a treat to see my baby niece, Elliott. I got to see her two days in a row this week! She's too darn cute so it seems a requirement to take a photograph, and in this instance I was so excited because I got her to stop crying, therefore a little selfie photo is the result. Ellie seems a little unsure, but she went with it.

In the Light

A sweetness lingers in the air
as the mum petals fall
softly down,
still lovely in being
what they are.

We are not cast down,
no matter the challenge.
We are brought up in our
persistence through the doubt.

Trials come steadily;
relentless like the summer sun,
but being known by one
is all we need.

Like a tiny seed, we go against
the grain
to be in the light.

Moonrise

I awoke in the Midsummer not-to-call
night, in the white and the walk of
the morning:
The moon, dwindled and thinned to the
fringe of a fingernail
held to the candle,
or paring of paradisaical fruit,
lovely in waning but lustreless.

"Moonrise" by Gerard Manley Hopkins

Traveling places you outside of the comfortable place, leaving trails of home at each stop along the journey. We look for moments of comfort at each turn, and call those who are back at home to get a glimpse of the life that is continuing on as usual.

But while we can journey back to a place in our minds we are still away from home. And that comfortable blanket is not at the end of the bed.

Our homes are temporary though, and sometimes I think about that when I travel because my home may change nightly when on a journey. However, no matter where we are, we can look to God's creation for glimpses of our true home. Our true place is not here at home or there on the road. It is in God heavenly realm.

As the moon rose on my last night of my business trip, I sat in the airport reading this poem by one of my favourite poets, surrounded by strangers (except for Colin) who were on their own journey. But we were all the same. All of us there on the late, late night, tired and weary travelers moving from one city to the next. Gliding through the high clouds on a plane, underneath the glow of the rising moon.

Be Still

It is difficult to be still sometimes while traveling. Each trip has that challenge. And so did this recent business trip to St. Louis. With busy schedules, a lot of people to meet, and a go-go-go mentality it is not always easy to find the place, time, or mind-set to just be still and know that God is God.

Psalm 46:10
“Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” 

But maybe late at night sitting on my bed in my cozy bedroom of my CEO's basement in which I was staying, I sat and wrote and reflected with a grateful heart.

Or maybe the next late night, sitting at the St. Louis airport for our delayed flight, with Colin stretched out on the carpet and I sitting with my feet tucked under me in the semi-cushioned airport chair, I took the focus off the waiting and wrote and reflected on my last few days with a glowing pride for my company.

And perhaps in the middle of our quarterly meeting while our CEO was at the podium talking about his faith in God, about serving others by using our gifts, and encouraging us, I sat there surrounded by all the other employees who look to this leader (and the other leaders), and who I came to respect even more than I already did before this trip. And I say little prayers of thanks that I could be a part of this company and how it has become such a blessing in my life.

Hmmm. Maybe I found that it is possible to be still, even in the midst of a busy business trip.

Writing, my love

I found great difficulty in deciding whether it is like my "sense of the is-ness of things" or my "Joy"...

-from the diary of C.S. Lewis- Wed 10 January 1923

I am not the best. Nor the smartest. Nor the wisest.
But I love to write.
I love to translate what I see or how I feel into words on a page.
And hopefully along the way those words encourage others or offer wisdom that points to God.

Occasionally I get asked why I like to write so much and how I come up with things to write. How can you fully explain your passion to someone? I guess I can begin with the words in my head and the ache to get them out onto a page before I lose them.

The words in my head are like memories that will fade. I try not to forget them as they make the trek from mind to paper and I want to articulate it well.

Writing is something I cannot avoid. Not that I want to. It is like drinking water. Sometimes I am so thirsty so my cup is overflowing with words that spill onto the page. And other times I am not thirsty and my cup feels dry.

And sometimes words fly in and fly out too quickly and I.....

Lingering Over Coffee

I am lingering over my coffee this morning. Trying to re-charge my batteries today after a looooong day yesterday. (Actually the past several days have been long but so incredible!) Getting in from St. Louis at 3 AM (due to flight delays) makes for a morning mind full of non-cohesive thoughts and a lethargic demeanor. But I had the most fun visiting my company's corporate headquarters in St. Louis, staying in our CEO's house, and spending lots of time with the most amazing people. I am so thankful Colin brought me on this trip.

I have so many fun stories of my experiences over the last several days I have been away. I will have to share a little bit in the coming week, but let me just say how proud I am to be a part of my company, Larson Financial Group. Our CEO is a true servant leader and every person I met and hung out with was so welcoming and I felt like I had known them for years. It is like being part of a big family. That's an amazing feeling, to be sure.

Anyway....

For your reading pleasure, I wrote an article for Catapult Magazine, which just happened to be published yesterday. You can read it HERE.

Happy Weekend!

As of Late...

 Summer is lovely because it brings many delicious fruits in season. I have been eating loads of watermelon, raspberries, and blueberries. And also, these delicious nectarines!

 I love my little chalk board (my little brother, Tyler, helped me make years ago), and I like to change it every so often with bits of wisdom, inspiration, scripture, and quotes from favourite authors. I was going to hang the board somewhere, but I almost like it better resting on the short stool and the little crocheted cushion I made a while back. 

 Yesterday, my car crossed over into 6 digits. 100,000 miles. This can only mean one thing. Things are going to start breaking. But I love my little BMW, and plan to drive many, many more miles in it.

My lovely friend (and neighbor) Emily gave me this little book of wisdom and inspiration. We are such old souls. We drink cups of tea in the evenings and talk about flea markets, cooking, poetry, and she gives me an old book tied with a string. Indeed, we surely don't belong in this fast-paced modern age. 

Summertime Books

I have not posted a list of books in a while. Summertime seems to be made for finding a cozy spot by the window and enjoying the long days of sunlight with several good books. When the heat is intense outside, reprieve an be found inside with stacks of books. I cannot read only one. There is always a small tower of books that I am currently leafing through. I can't help it.

A few books I have been reading lately:

Poems by Gerard Manley Hopkins - I read his poems every now and then just because, but I am devoting time to more of them from a little paperback I found in a used bookstore in Indiana. He was an Oxford scholar in 1863, and he is a favourite poet of mine. His poems are so interesting to read for the word usage; full of alliteration (which may seem like a tongue twister). But the language is so beautiful and coming from a place deep in his soul. He was a committed Disciple of God but he had struggles that anyone could relate to, and his poetry reflects the love of God, the omnipresence of God, and the loneliness of a soul that we all can feel here on earth.

Prose and Poetry by Matthew Arnold- A was also a scholar of Oxford (he died in 1888), who became an inspector of schools in England, then France and Germany. He wrote many criticisms of authors and poetry, which are enlightening and interesting. His poetry would have been well known in his time, and I think it is relatively well known today. His poems, unlike Hopkins, tends to dwell in a loss of faith and look to earthly love as the answer to questions and doubt.

The Molehill- Volume I- This is a collection of writings, stories, poems, and even drawings from contributors to the Rabbit Room (http://www.rabbitroom.com/). I am really enjoying the variety of writings in this journal. It is amazing to see the myriad of people who come together with the common interest of all things C.S. Lewis and the creative nature we all seek to embrace. It is inspiring.

The Flying Inn by G.K. Chesterton- British humour and a good adventurous story is something Chesterton does so well. Even if he adds a few dashes of strong opinions about Jews or Islam, I think he does that to provoke reaction and discussion among readers (because he was a very tolerant man). He would be the type to do that. He loved to debate in his time (the early 1900s). This book is about the British government outlawing alcohol unless served at a location where there is an Inn sign, but then the government outlawed Inn signs. Two men travel around with a barrel of rum and an Inn sign, with many silly adventures along the way. As always, his books contain lots of silliness on the surface, but are actually about many deeper things that you realize you understand because of his way with words.

To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf- I think I read this book described somewhere compared to reading the creation of a painting. As I read this book about a family taking a holiday on the Isle of Skye and the events that take place due to their inability to visit the lighthouse, I can see how it is like reading a painting. The descriptions are reminiscent of the strokes of a paintbrush blanketing a canvas. I am really interested to read more of this, as I am not very far into it yet.

A Faded Song

That the future is a faded song, a
Royal rose or a lavender spray
of wistful regret for those who are
not yet here to regret
Pressed between yellow leaves of a
book that has never been opened.
And the way up is the way down,
the way forward is the way back.
You cannot face it steadily, but this
thing is sure,
That time is no healer: the patient
is no longer here.

"The Dry Salvages", T.S. Eliot

A paradox we rarely come to terms with is how suffering we endure actually helps us. It is in the toughest times that we call to God for help and seek Him the most. In our desperation we look to Him as we feel so helpless. And yet, we are always able to draw close to God all the time. But in good times when all is going well, we tend to lose that need for God. We may not believe that, but it is easy to have the tendency to act in that manner.

And that is dangerous. It is exactly what Satan wants us to think. The more we feel independent of God's will, the further we stray from God. Then it becomes a slippery slope.

It is all our doing. We choose every single day whether to walk close to God or take a step away. Leaving our future in God's hands is the toughest thing to let go of, but it is always the best choice. God's ways are perfect.

We also choose to be joyful or wallow in a bad time. No matter what we are going through, we can choose to be full of joy, for when God is our source of joy, we are filled to the brim because it is not of earthly sources. And it will not spill unless you tip it over to make room for earthly things to fill you.

So, fill me Lord, with the heavenly joy that has me looking to You all my days.

The Most Simple

I will praise your name,
for you have done wonderful things,
plans formed of old, faithful and sure.
- Isaiah 25.1

The wispy purple blooms I have on my kitchen table (and drying upside down) look like little lavender buds but they do not have the lovely scent. I do have some lavender stems of leaves on my table, too, from my friend Emily's porch garden. I am letting some of these leaves steep with my brewing Earl Grey tea in a little pot. Adding vanilla and pouring over some soy milk, it's pretty tasty. But not living up to the name of a Lavender Fog. Guess I will have to keep practicing.

There is something refreshing about having some of God's nature in the home. It brings a beautiful outdoor reminder of God's goodness and provisions. The light coming through my windows is comforting, like a renewal of my day. The gentle breeze outside brings the otherwise stolid trees to life in a little dance.

Lately, I have been indulging in the most simple of things. And it's been wonderful. It's nice to slow down. Isn't that what Summer is for?

- Drying flowers in my kitchen
- Hanging thrifted lace curtains
- Brewing a cup of rose tea each night
- Making simple eggs and toast
- Playing piano
- Reading for hours
- Watching cardinals jump from branch to branch outside my windows
- Sitting by a window watching the rain fall

Happy weekend!

Thy Will Be Done

Ah, you who hide deep from the Lord

your counsel,

whose deeds are in the dark,
and who say, "who sees us? Who
knows us?"
You turn things upside down!
Shall the potter be regarded as the clay,
that the thing made should say of its maker,
"He did not make me,"
or the thing formed say of him who formed it,
"He has no understanding?"

-Isaiah 29.15-16

Oftentimes we like to make ourselves the maker. We place ourselves in higher authority trusting in our own wisdom and knowledge rather than in our Creator. We tell ourselves that nobody will know if we do "this" or "that". No one will find out.

Your heavenly Father sees all. We kid ourselves if we think otherwise.
In the same way that God sees all we may do that is not good, He also sees all the good we do. And all those thing we may do in secret, where we do not allow ourselves to take the glory or any recognition.
Yea, He see all that too.

The kindness toward strangers. The prayers in our quiet times alone. The gentleness we have with someone who is tough to deal with. Being unrecognized when you have put forth hard work. Doing the right thing even when no person would find out if you did otherwise. Loving others when they are being unlovable.

We try and try to seek the approval of others. But why? We will spin and spin our wheels doing that, not moving an inch. We should not expect God to bend toward us and what we want. We are not the maker. We create wonderful things here that replicate and give a tiny glimpse of all that is perfect in God, but we are not the original Creator.

Seek the approval of God, first, and you will find His will.
Thy will be done.

Long Summer Days

I love being at home.
Do you ever feel like you just want to BE at home? To enjoy it by being there fully? Not just dashing to and fro. Not just rushing to get ready and go. But to be. I have been trying to do more of that lately, and it's not a hard thing to do for me, in my new home. I live in about 520 square feet of space, and it's perfect for me.

It's a clear, less humid day. I can see the blue sky peaking through the giant tree limbs as I sit on my sofa, stretched out with a book in my hands.

It is still so bright at 8 PM. Seemingly it feels like it should be 5 PM from the amount of light that is still hovering upon us. But it is the remnants of the long days of summer that seem to go on and on.

The Spanish moss is hanging loosely from the tree out front, swaying in the breeze. I think the moss must be ready to fall at any moment. Plop! Right onto the grass.

What do you love most about Summer?
Here are my favourite things:

- Ice cream cones
- Watermelon
- Longer days
- Slower pace
- Road trips
- Corn on the cob
- BBQ
- Crepe Myrtles in bloom
- Green grass
- Lemonade
- Oranges
- Rain
- Wearing sun hats

Hmmm. There seems to be quite a bit of food items on my list. 

Apartment Tour: My Bedroom

At last! I can share a few photos of my bedroom. It is coming together with some wall hangings and a little flowery curtain for privacy. All my other curtains are either white or lace, because I refuse to block the light that comes through all my windows. I love this space and the light that comes in here. I took these photos around 5 PM, which has that beginning of the slanting light which makes this room glow. There is more to do, and I am always thinking of things to change and ways to add more charm.

Some of my favourite pieces in this room are from thrift/ second-hand stores, by the way. Like the two different curtains on the one window. The rug (from the fancy flea market). My wing-back chair. The framed San Francisco, London, and piazza painted scenes. Oh, and many of my books, of course!

I love it in here. I really like waking up to the lovely sunlight that comes through the thin curtains. Not in an harsh way, but in a soothing wake-up-with-the-sun way. I guess that means I don't sleep in anymore, but who am I kidding, I have never been one to sleep late. There's just so much you can do in a day!

What Could Be

Oft I dream of what could be
Held close these thoughts,
like treasure none can see.
From the here and now of a moment,
to lasting infinity
breaks come along, and idleness
is fought
Sometimes I am charged with vigor
as I ought
And when the tide turns I can
finally see
That which I desire is set in motion;
all that I sought
is clear as clear can be.


If we stand on the edge of hope always looking deeper, it will change our views with glimpses of the greater story we are already a part of.

Independence Day

United States of America. We live in a pretty amazing place and have so many freedoms that we take for granted. We rarely think about the sacrifices those before us made for the good of the country and for our futures. No matter how frustrated we get with our neighbors or our government, we are all the same and yet different. We all struggle with similar things. And this country embraces its diversity, with so many different kinds of places from the north east, to the south, to the west coast. We have such a beautiful variety of people and places. I wish to see so much more of our amazing country in my travels.

So....
How did you celebrate America's birthday?
I enjoyed time with family here in my town and got to show some of them my new home. Gladly we did not have any outdoor plans because we had several periods of pouring rain and even a thunderstorm in the afternoon. Wet all day.

We ate grilled hamburgers, hot dogs, corn on the cob, green beans, and watermelon. You know, all the American traditions. And I refused to indulge in any dessert that wasn't patriotic. So, as you see, this ice cream cone fit the bill and it disappeared pretty quickly.

Come Further In, Come Further Up!

I have been writing pages and pages about stories and thinking a lot about stories lately. Interestingly, it keeps coming up in my life, whether in the blogs I read, podcasts I listen to, in church, or in my selection of books I am reading.

Truth in stories is ringing in my days lately. My eyes have been glued to the pages of truly good stories, like The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis. It is the last book of the Chronicles of Narnia series. I find that I need really good, deep stories that reach into my soul and open doors. A breath of fresh air filled with longings of another place.

There are so many hidden gems within these pages. The lines leap out into the imagination and I realize that without imagination we cannot have hope of what is to come. That new beginning at the dawn of the new creation. Or, in Narnia, the old has died and the new creation is right before their eyes. The new Narnia looks and feels like the old one, except it is deeper. It is more.

A new place that looks so familiar and yet it is even grander than one could possibly imagine. In the new Narnia, the children realize that as they run deeper and deeper across the grassy landscape and up waterfalls, it gets bigger and bigger. Passing into one gate, they see that what they just passed into is even larger than what they just left outside the gate.

The old Narnia was much beloved because it was a tiny bit like the new creation. We recognize the beauty of God in these tiny pieces.

In regards to stories, our art of writing and using our imaginations is a gift and it matters eternally. All that we create here holds tiny seeds of eternity. God will make our old creation perfectly real in new creation. All that is good will be what it is meant to be. All beauty here shows glimpses of what is meant to be.

Forward Thinking

We do not live in the past. We live right here. In this very moment. What's done is done and over and gone. Why wrestle with it again? Like driving on a road, we are always moving forward, with glances to that which we left behind. Sometimes the glances are to good things, sometimes to unpleasant things.

There are some things I easily let go of and don't even let weigh me down. And while I can let those drift away with the breeze, everything does not fly away so easily for me. There are certain things that keep jumping back in my mind that I know are a struggle for me. We all have those things.

I've come to a conclusion (and this isn't anything other than what I knew all along, but I am writing about it now and realizing the positive benefit of it) that I need to have a more forward thinking mentality along with my here-in-the-moment attitude.

I do not believe there is anything wrong with remembering the past, such as recalling a good time or fond memory, for that is where our roots are. For instance, I never regret remembering my Dad and thinking back to any times we had together. While it can make me incredibly sad at times, those are past memories branching out of love.

But if I am reaching back into the past out of any bitterness or anger, my recollections will haunt. I'd rather not feel ghosts of the past creeping in. It leaves behind all sorts of dreadful thoughts.

Perhaps there is a reason for the past, and even a reason for a certain loss. As a follower of Jesus, I believe that we are to follow at whatever cost. Sometimes it is at the cost of something extremely dear. But we should remember that no matter what is lost, we are gaining so much more in our relationship with Christ, which is beyond all measure.

Fine Stories

I sit by the window with a pining in my heart. A yearning not fully describable. The evening light fades and I do not want to leave this chair and yet at the same time I long to go on long walks through beautiful countryside just outside my door (if I had countryside outside my door). To walk and dream and think.

I am here. Amidst the trees. Up in my tree house reading books that take me elsewhere like Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen and other books (you will read about soon) that utter something deeper. A story. A good story that I, as the reader, want to be a part of.

To read Elinor's emotions and responses to delicate and perplexing situations is like a glimpse into my own life and how I would/should react to situations. To resonate with a character and the feelings so much shows the mark of a truly great writer. Each good story matters. It holds the creative side of God's creation in the form of imagination.

God gave us the ability to imagine places, characters, and stories because it all matters. We are all part of the larger story that God is writing and we get to sub-create in this world. Perhaps along the way, we catch glimpses of what God has in store for the true beginning of a new earth at chapter one through these stories. Just as in these good books, the ending is the beginning of a new chapter in the lives of the characters.

So this pining in my heart is not something that can be wholly filled here, it is as C.S. Lewis says- Sehnsucht or a longing of what he says is like a thoughtful wishing (read more about that HERE), but these good stories I have been reading look beyond in that they capture the love of God through story.