Choosing the Harder Way

 

The enemy places obstacles and impediments in the way of those who love and begin to serve God our Lord, and fails to remind us of the great comfort and consolation which our Lord is want to give to such souls, who, as new recruits in our Lord's service, surmount these obstacles and choose to suffer with their Creator and Lord.

- St. Ignatius of Loyola

It's quite notable how choice is such a factor in our spiritual growth. In times of desolation, when our spiritual life lacks or enters a dark period, it's all too easy to let any small thing stop us from the routine we may have had (church, prayers, quiet time, reflection). This good we had normally taken time in our daily lives disappears, and you are making the choice to stray. St. Ignatius warns us to not make any changes to our spiritual routines when experiencing time of desolation. Don't stop the things you were doing, especially when we feel discouraged. That's when we need more prayer time, quiet time, etc. But in those dark challenging moments, Satan tries to get us to feel uncertainty, doubt, raising up denial of truth we once knew - seeking to distract us with whispers he will throw our way very quickly. Notice how easy it is to let yourself be led off into whatever vice or excuse when you feel dry or questioning, the moment you feel a distance from God.

Overcoming these obstacles is the goal, resisting them to grow. As G.K. Chesterton said, "a dead thing can go with the stream, but only a living thing can go against it." It's about choice and choosing the harder way. Let no other option fill your mind. The Lord will help us overcome such a pull toward the easy way, if we choose to keep our focus on Him, even when we don't feel like it. Maybe that means letting go of things you watch or listen to that take you into a worldly direction. Go to church, say prayers anyway. Reflect and write out the struggles. Bring them to God. God sees us making that choice and keeping on, and He sees us as we suffer, as He is with us in our suffering. 

Like Dante going through his journey through hell, the only way out is through. There's no true short cut and it may be some time before you make it through. We don't take upon ourselves the time, we take upon ourselves the choice, and receive the grace. The choice to follow no matter what. God sees that, and time will pass, so will the desolation. Consolation will come and we will see that resisting the desolation (and all the forceful distractions that try to grab at us) allows us to resist, and we grow spiritually through that experience. Better equipped to live out God's goodness through our lives.

In Manus Tuas

 

In manus tuas, Domine,
Commendo spiritum meum

Into your hands, Lord
I commend my spirit

Jesus' last words on the cross. Thanks be to God for the love and sacrifice of our Lord Jesus. My favourite sacred music group, Floriani, put an arrangement together of this chant for their choral retreat, and posted a video of this. It is absolutely hauntingly beautiful; the words, the voices harmonizing, the sacredness of Jesus' words, held in a sacred space. Our eyes gaze up to Jesus through this music.

This is what beauty is. Through the talent of these singers, they glorify God and point us to Jesus, encouraging others in the same spirit. Reverent, deeply moving, and prayerfully sung. This is a prayer from the evening prayer in the Liturgy of the Hours.

I think sacred music has become one of my favourite things. It is truly timeless - sung before the time of Jesus' incarnation in the Jewish traditions of singing the Psalms. It is seeing a bit of a revival these days, especially with the younger generation, like gen Z, as they seek out meaning in life - it has to be more than the material and subjective things that the world pushes on us all.

Sacred music is not flimsy or loose. It's ancient, rooted, taken directly from Scripture; it's moving and meaningful. It transcends time and space - you can get lost in it - meaning you can sense a heavenly element to it, feeling the presence of the Lord. It takes us beyond ourselves to the heavenly - again, it's directing your heart and soul to the eternal. Setting your focus on what is reality. As we know, this world we live in feels more a more like something out of a simulation and is not reality. It is more like a fake layer covering up reality. The point of rich sacred worship music is to get out of ones selfish gaze upon your own nose. For years I struggled with the modern Christian music in how often it points to oneself rather than to the glory of God. It was missing so much, to me, and now I am understanding more as I actually experience sacred music and allow myself to be open to what it tells us about the ancient church and the purpose of worship.

The richness of beauty is the path that leads to the deeper life in truth. Not just through music, but through beliefs, sacraments, depth, reverence, prayer. If Jesus were to show up in your church in bodily form, wouldn't you bow, kneel, offer reverence and want to kiss Jesus' feet? The purpose of going to church is not to make yourself feel good that you've spent one hour singing happy songs and listening to a long sermon, no. It is to be with Jesus present in the Eucharist. Not just welcoming Jesus in the spirit, but Jesus truly present as He said in John 6  "This is my body". He meant it and the ancient church believed in this to the fullest. All honor and praise be to Him; kneeling is the very least we can do.

When you sing/say such ancient words, you are connected across space and time to the ancient church. It's all about Jesus. Every moment, prayer, and gesture. It's to praise, thank, repent, surrender, and worship Jesus who is the only one to deserves it.

Beauty is Truth, Truth Beauty

 

The Cathedral Basilica of St. Louis

"Beauty is truth, truth beauty," - 
that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.

- from "Ode on a Grecian Urn", by John Keats

Could John Keats be onto something much deeper than a surface lever subjective telling of beauty and truth? He was a seeker, a deeply felt searcher for words to describe the eternal beauty that did not fade, the light that did not dim, the scenes of the faery lands forlorn, over the perilous seas (from his "Ode to a Nightingale"). He dips into myth and story like a rich dredge of honey into the bowl; it's sweet and full of emotive and sometimes melancholic words arranged with intention and musicality - and experienced as lines of a poem.

Keats was seeking the everlasting - through invoking myth, spirit, flowers, birds, love, signs + sounds. He was deeply thoughtful and meditative. Could he not have understood a deeper thing than most people know today? That beauty draws us to something deeper, higher, and more than ourselves. We seek it, and it draws us in and points to that higher object, truth. Something universal and objective, clinging together along with the output that comes from beauty and truth, to complete the trinity of the transcendentals - goodness. These three pieces are all one of the same - they sync eternally, always there to cause you to pause in your finite time here in the mundane day to point you to the infinite. The maker, creator, and sustainer of all good, all the world. 

Keats wasn't preaching. He wasn't a Christian from what I gather, yet he knew something about God and His creation - he could articulate it in his poems (even if he didn't realize it), often reaching deeper into truth than preachers. When you evoke beauty, you summon forth God and His goodness, petals shed the truth as you participate in seeing them, breathing their scented air, and taking in the many reminders that something so simple as flowers can remind us - of God's wisdom bestowed to us by way of such beauty. If we would only pay attention.

Notice how the lilies of the field grow;
they do not labor nor do they spin
thread for cloth...

- Matthew 6.28

Poets are good at paying attention. Writers are generally looking, searching, hunting for the words that transcend themselves to express a bigger idea. Keats is such an example, with a fluidity in his words that express beauty. Perhaps he wrote with nature and love swimming in his heart and set before his eyes, and at the same time God uses all the good we create to reveal His glory, even if not our initial thought. He leads us in our gifts to express that which can call/direct/point to Him. When we seek beauty that leads the thoughts to eternity, truth is revealed in the etch of the glass. It's delicate to be sure, and it can shatter if a falseness settles in with a rattle; the worldly desire for the pride/selfishness creep in very easily. Those and other vices that try to linger like fog over a lovely scene, but with a swift sigh and prayer the winds of truth clear the air, and settle into poetry that you read centuries later, grasping some small ounce of the sweetness Keats felt as he penned the words, which whisper of the eternal.