Book Shaped Mail

The best kind of mail comes in a smallish, paper, bubble-lined envelope in the shape of a book. Specifically with a label and stamp from the UK. I just got my first order from The Book Depository! Thanks to my friend, Amber, who introduced me to this website, I have discovered this great way to order books with free shipping. Stay tuned to learn about my first purchase. What book do you think is in this little envelope?

I will leave you with that to wonder about. And also this new wealth of book information. Don't get lost in the books. Actually, do. Do get lost in the books. 

Fingers Closed Tight Hold Naught

And love, like light,
Cannot be caught
And sun and rain
And nights and days
My heart have tossed
A thousand ways.
For love, like light,
Cannot be caught
Fingers closed tight
Hold naught.

-Madeleine L'Engle

I am learning to open up my closed fists. Sometimes I don't even realize I am holding them tight. It takes time to take time out for God, but it worth it every time. When I sit down with a blank page my mind opens, and very soon, my heart. I can let go in these pages. I can imagine, create, tell, re-tell, dream, hope, and pray. I open up my hands here in these pages, and see how much I have yet to learn.

I am learning from looking at who I was in the past to who I am today, and I still feel like there is always room for me to grow. So many dreams to pursue. The more I see, the more I learn and observe. Life is beautiful and there is a myriad of lovely things in this life we are given. Gathering thoughts and pouring out the words onto these blank pages is what I love doing. Observing love in this world, and how true that it cannot be caught. But I observe that we can never hold it in our hands while our hands are tightly clenched.

Golden Hour

I cannot help myself. When I come home from work two days in a row and the light looks like this in my home, I cannot let it pass without taking some photos.
The glowing, golden light is the best time for taking photos.
There is just something about the shafts of light hitting the gleaming wood floors and the glow coming through my sheer white curtains. It's magical.

On Spending Time in Quiet

If we don't have a hidden life with God, our public life cannot bear fruit.
- Henri Nouwen

It seems to me that our culture does not value quiet and reflective time. There isn't a sense of "be still". It's a hurry up and rush rush rush to get here to do this and that.

A friend brought this up recently, which is funny because I had already been thinking about it for awhile.
I crave the quiet time. It is here that I can hear my thoughts. Here is where I pray, write, and figure out my deepest feelings.
It is in these moments that I know myself the best because I open up my heart and my clenched fists to God, and let Him guide my thoughts.
Without these reflective times I feel jumbled. I cannot think or concentrate with my full self. It's losing my centre.

Jesus oftentimes took time away from everyone and went up the mountain or into the wilderness to pray and reflect. If we want to be more like Jesus, we should follow.

Being reflective does not mean you have to long to be a writer or feel poetical. It's the attitude of reflection that is essential. It doesn't take much to get going.
Start with --
Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be your name....

Recognize God is God and go from there. God will reveal himself in a multitude of ways at the right times.

A Little Bit of Disney World

Last week I took a day off to hang out with my closest friend, Jen, who was in Orlando for the week. If you know me, you know that I am not a Disney girl. I do not enjoy the crowds or the lines or the screaming kids or the tourists. It's not really my thing. However, for the sake of a little one, in this case Jen's daughter who is 2 1/2, I will do a little bit of Disney.

We decided to do the fun and free way of Disney. That means we paid for parking at the Contemporary Hotel, and rode the Monorail around the loop, which was so exciting to Liliana. We had lunch in the Contemporary Hotel, which is open in the center, and the Monorail comes through the building. So as we sat at our table eating our Disney food and wiping our fingers with Disney napkins, the Monorail came through many times, which of course is a big deal for a 2 year old! We then rode the boat several times, stopping at the Lodge Hotel and then a longer boat ride onto Fort Wilderness.

This was a good way to experience Disney. No crowds. No lines. We had the boats to ourselves. We had the Monorail car to ourselves. And not many people were hanging around the hotels. A first time success for Liliana's first visit to Disney. A good day, all around.

Summer Cloudburst

Winds shifting quickly
the horizon growing dark
suddenly amidst the deep clouds
you catch sight of a spark.
It hurries in, summer style
bursts of energy, drenched in seconds
and the slim warning ahead
of the troubled sky.

Onward,
storms do not delay
nor do they wait,
rendering its power
upon your picnic at the lake.
Next time you better take
an umbrella
for a cloudburst is sure to occur
on any summer day.

Cursive

I realized that I have started to write using cursive letters more often. I am not sure why. As I doodle in my journal and write quotes and verses, they tend to look fancier when I write in cursive, so that is what they have become. It is kind of fun because I have not written in cursive much at all, except when I had to in school (many years ago).

I was talking with a lady at church a few weeks ago and she was saying how they no longer teach cursive in school any more. Why not? That means kids will not be able to read cursive because they do not know how to write it.

As a lover of words, language, and writing by hand, that is sad to me. I suppose it is part of our modern culture and decisions that schools make when they look at what is important to spend time on in class. Technology has become much more important since I was a youngling. It has taken the place of old traditions.

I think it is crucial to teach both. How can kids appreciate history and tradition if they do not know it? Our history is steeped in tradition and kids should learn about it and experience it first-hand. To value the past and then move forward with the technology so they do not fall behind. It should all reflect and respect the traditions. I definitely recognize the need to learn technology, though.

If you cannot tell, I am pretty old-fashioned, so I tend to lean away from super-modern and techy. An old soul. Right here.

Back To School

Merely having an open mind is nothing; the object of opening the mind, as of opening the mouth, is to shut it again on something solid.
- G.K. Chesterton

I sit down with a cup of dandelion tea and many thoughts shuffling around in my head as my free box of crayons from Target sit on my table, tempting me to color. It gets me thinking about all the schools back in session this week and thinking back to when I was in Elementary, Middle, and High School. I was always excited to go back because I liked to learn. I liked the freshness of a new notebook, and how all my new pens wrote the best when they were just opened. I anticipated getting to know the teacher and what kinds of things he/she would be passionate about.
I wonder how kids feel today? Do they get excited about learning? I imagine a lot do, just like I did (and still do!).

But did I appreciate it when I was in school? Not nearly as much as I would now. For instance, I read books now that were required reading in school, that I dreaded, or that stumped me. It's funny, I used to get frustrated in my AP English classes when the teacher made us read into the poems and stories to figure out what was really being said. A lot of times I would not catch on right away, so I scoffed. What a silly, ignorant girl I was! I did not fully grasp the joy in words and the meaning they symbolize. The word is not the truth, per say, but the word is the gateway to knowing. To learning. A symbol of sorts.

I have always loved words, reading, and writing, but those teachers were asking me to do something I never had to do before. I was being challenged in the best of ways. Taken out of my comfort zone. And that's how you learn.

I did learn over the years and I still remember certain books and what I drew out of them from those classes. I remember feeling in awe and holding admiration of the writers who had the talent of piecing together complex stories. Even if I did not like them, I learned how to appreciate them. I remember being surprised to enjoy reading The Illiad and The Odyssey and even more surprised to realized I enjoyed reading The Catcher in the Rye. I was shocked to love poetry so much, especially Shakespeare, Keats, Shelley, and Edgar Alan Poe. The book I disliked, more than any, was The Metamorphosis by Kafka. The book was so disturbing to me for some reason, perhaps because of the general attitude of the characters and the lack of regard by the family of the main character, and the whole turning-into-an-insect thing, which was just so absurd to me. That was one book I never desired to read again.

Sometimes I feel like a young school kid again as I dive into a new book that is an unknown world to me. Happy school days! Don't forget to appreciate all that you learn.

Books with Coffee

What did you do this weekend? I read a lot, finishing two books and starting a new one. I made lots of coffee, including this iced coffee, because what goes better with books, reading, and rainy afternoons?

I finished reading:
The Molehill, vol. I - various authors from the Rabbit Room (rabbitroom.com)
Filled with poems, stories, non-fiction, and art work, this delightful book was engaging and thought-provoking. The talented writers have a myriad of topics and style to which they attend to. I especially enjoyed the poems and any of the writings having to do with the UK. Reading about learning and living at Oxford was a favourite. But some of the stories gripped me, too. Not the sort of fluff you may imagine when you hear "Christian Fiction", but really good stories full of life and oddities. I don't want the fluff with predictable situations where things go bad, but Christian turns it around and all is good. That's why I enjoy these authors so much because it is not like that.

The Visionary Christian, C.S. Lewis
This book was a collection of readings from several of his fiction, poetry, and apologetic writings. I have read most of what was in here, but some of the poems and one of the fiction books I was not familiar with. Something to note about Lewis here is that it is difficult to read his works in short excerpts. Unless you are somewhat familiar with the story or the topic, it is hard to read short little clips form larger works because he builds one subject from a previous discussion so sometimes by only reading a passage, you are missing several pieces of the discussion. That is my only "warning" on that. I enjoyed reading many of these passages, and I could read Lewis all day. This collection shows the diversity in his writings. A mixture of fantasy, scientific, children's fantasy, non-fiction, poetical, theological, and creative. I never get bored reading his works.

I started reading:
Phantastes, George MacDonald
I have been wanting to read this book for a few years, and at last I am picking it up! Perhaps it is partly attributed to listening to a podcast that references this book, and perhaps it has to do with finding a copy of the book at my library, for sale. I can do $.50 for sure.
This book is a sort of genesis of fantasy, published in 1858,  who some of my favourite authors looked up to (C.S. Lewis and Madeleine L'Engle to name a few). I just started it this weekend, and am thoroughly enjoying following the young man into a strange land where strange things happen. It is a little like following Alice through the rabbit hole. I like these kind of creative stories where it is imaginative and it explores the heart of humanity along a spiritual journey. I am easily falling into this story. 

Smiles from the Weekend

 We had such a hot week last week because it did not rain, but gladly this weekend we had many rains, which cooled the temperatures a little bit. Meaning, instead of sweltering-humid-I-don't-want-to-step-outside weather we had usual heat. Let's hope for a slightly cooler week this week!

 Salads. Fresh fruit. Water. Summer staples.

 It was easy to do a lot of good reading this weekend with the rain storms. That makes the perfect atmosphere to make iced coffee and curl up on the sofa to read.

My niece came to visit me and she was so happy! She loved sitting on my sofa all by herself. All giggles and smiles. She melts my heart. I can't help it. Proud Aunt, I am.

The Little Things

After a busy and (hopefully) really productive week at work, I just want to relax this weekend and enjoy the little things. Here are some of the little things from my week that cheered my soul.

My new pillow is amazing. I have been looking for new pillows for my sofa, and I may be on the lookout for more.

I bought a bunch of mason jars that I use for everything. They are my new favourites. They are drinking glasses, storage containers, and vases.

These ladies cheer my soul- Jaime and Emily. We hung out one evening and ate shepherd's pie, drank homemade lemonade, ate cake, and laughed til our eyes watered.

A favourite pair of loafers were in distress when a tassel came off one whole shoe. I found out that my landlord is not only handy with every kind of DIY home project, but he is also very handy as a shoe repair guy. Now my loafers are like new!

And hydrangeas. Lovely gift from Jaime, who I am sad to say, moves to North Carolina this weekend. She will be greatly missed around here.

Exploration

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.

- "Little Gidding" by T.S. Eliot

We may not be trying to sail across and unknown sea to find a new land, but we are always seeking and exploring. Whether it be to different lands or different cities. Maybe even exploring different ways of living, different places to hang out, or different diets. We have the tendency to never be satisfied with where we are but are always thinking of what could be. Man, if I could just do ____ or ____ , you think. Then, you could be satisfied.

As T.S. Eliot writes we will not stop our exploring, and I think it is a good thing, except when it prevents us from being content with where God places us at this moment. It is an awful thing to not be able to find the joy in the present. It is in our nature to explore and wonder. If you know me you would know that I am a huge advocate for learning, growing, moving forward, and using your talents. Those things can be used as an avenue of exploring.

We are limited in our exploring though. We only have so much time. And at the end we will arrive where we started, as Eliot writes, heaven, knowing the place for the first time but somehow seeming so familiar. How can we see the place we are in right now with new eyes? Explore it with a fresh sense of knowing that it is given to us as a gift for this moment, as a glimpse of what is yet to come. It is familiar because heaven will be somehow familiar too, in the best of ways, because we were made for it.

Beauty Hidden

I listen to music
I read deeply moving words
I see beauty everyday
I witness love and kindness
I laugh heartily with friends

And I smile because I see God's presence in things where beauty can be hidden. There is no other explanation of it all. Each good thing we see and each good thing we create is a part of the grand story that is playing out. We are a part of it each day. And every part matters.

What is beauty? Where is it? I can so easily say that I see it and experience it but how do we describe true beauty? Beauty different from the world has nothing to do with having a perfect figure and flawless skin. The beauty I talk about it something deep. Something that is almost impossible to describe until you experience it. Something almost from another world.

Have you ever looked out from a mountain view or some stunning scenery and felt a presence and deep awakening of something inside? Where you look out in awe of what you see and know that it is nothing compared to what God has in store. That His creation is beyond our understanding and yet we matter to our Creator.

Then the words flow into your mind, dancing like fingers on the black and white keys. Spinning and creating all along the way. Leaving traces of beauty like stardust.

And remnants of that makes its way onto the page, for collection. And we go through our days collecting glimpses of beauty, remembering that it all comes from God.

Rainy Evening at Home

Rain drops pitter patter on my windows
at home on a day darkening to night
With deep shadows cast by the early
glow of lamp posts
and for the love of light
we pass through it from a dry and
cheerful place.

For me, it is my home, with lamps
and candles offering gentle light
and warmth in comfort from a
cozy chair.

While a cup of tea steeps on the table
a book lays open, ready to be
picked up
and the clouds hover,
and shed their droplets
and keep me here,
in my delightful
little home.

Some Good Things

I don't know how flowers thrive in this Summer heat, but Plumbagos seem to love it, so I like to cut little bunches of them to brighten up my home. 

Last week my baby niece, Ellie, and I rode in the back seat of her parents' car together to Tampa for her finalization at the courthouse. I got to gaze into this beautiful face the whole time. She is so precious. She stared at me for a long while until at last, growing bored, fell asleep.

Sunday was a special day for my baby niece. Having three rows of family and friends at church to witness her baptism was a pretty special time.

 I enjoyed hosting many members of my family at my little tree house home this weekend. I love having friends and family over.

I am a little obsessed with this bread. Have you ever had English muffin bread? Well, I suggest you try it, preferably toasted with some butter.

Chasing the Wind

Better one handful
with tranquility
than two handfuls with toil
and chasing after the wind.

- Ecclesiastes 4.6

It is better to be content with what one hand can hold and let the other hand remain open for God to move the plans He has in store. If two hands are held tight clenching onto everything there is no space for God to work in your life as you toil, toil, toil. There is no peace or tranquility there.

You will never be content if you are always trying to grasp all that you can.  What if we learned to live with one hand always open to what God may bring into it?

If we look to someone or something, Solomon says, we will end up with two handfuls tight and chasing after the wind.

The wind cannot be caught. There is no winning when you are chasing the wind.

When Jesus was approached and asked what he was going to do in certain difficult situations, his reply was simply "the will of my father".
What is our response? 

Listen to Books

You may or may not be as nerdy as me when it comes to reading books. Don't worry, this post is not about reading books....

But how about listening to books or poems being read? I love being read to, and I remember how much I enjoyed my English classes when the teacher/professor would read, or when other students would read well. I realize that I really enjoy hearing someone's pronunciation, rise and fall of the voice, and different tones as words are being read. It is such a different experience hearing something being read than reading it on paper. And I love to hear author's voices, especially when it is a piece of history.

Listening to the following clips is is like living in the early days before television, when radio was used as nightly entertainment. The thing I love about that is how the radio leaves all the visuals to your imagination rather than the television showing you.

I found a few fun audios to share with you. I have been listening to these lately.
Stretch your imagination!
Enjoy!

C.S. Lewis reading part of his broadcast talks from 1944, which later became Mere Christianity:
HERE

J.R.R. Tolkien reading from The Hobbit: Riddles in the Dark:
HERE

T.S. Eliot reading Four Quartets:
HERE

A.A. Milne reading from Winnie the Pooh:
HERE

G.K. Chesterton speeches (evidence of his humour):
HERE

Place of Inspiration

My favourite place of inspiration: Oxford, England

The stones of all the buildings display age, history, learning, and literature. Words almost spill out of the beautiful windows. Vines grow and reach around corners of walls and buildings. This place is full of life and learning.

Footsteps fall on hundreds and hundreds of years of history. Many others have passed this spot as a student, an author, a researcher, a traveler. My favourite authors lived here, taught here, wandered these streets, and ate in these pubs.

What is it about this place? I must admit I am drawn to a place of learning, hence the university. The history (a large amount of buildings are from the 1300s) astonished me. The varied culture (people from around the world come here, of course) draws immense talent. The availability of books and music is overwhelming I would never run out of either. The climate is so different from my Florida usual, and I loved everything about that. I loved being able to wear a scarf on a June evening and wander around the colleges all day.

I am drawn to all these things. They inspire me. I could sit outside here, anywhere, and be content with a pen and journal. But never could I stay in one spot because there is so much wandering to do. So many trails to walk, streets to explore, and libraries to get lost in. I have only seen sketches, glimpses, really, on my few visits here.

Oxford is like a dream come alive, for me. 

Break Time

 
The weekend is for slowing down. Sitting at a coffee shop and watching people. Admiring the downtown buildings while sipping coffee. That's what the weekend is for.
And if the night turns out to be rainy, then head inside, light candles and eat hot-from-the-oven chocolate chip cookies made by the chef next door.

 Coffee shop break with Emily. New reading material (the new issue of The Lakelander magazine) and coffee.

I also indulge in breakfast for lunch pretty frequently. That's what the weekend is for, too. Breakfast anytime.

 I found some parsnips at the grocery store and almost shouted with excitement. So, I had to cook them in my dinner last night. I love root vegetables (parsnips, beets, onions, carrots, etc)

Amazing books found at the library bookstore! $.75 for all the above? Yes please!

At Home

On simple days like today I think about how all the everyday little things matter. The conversation held with a neighbor. Taking time to prepare a meal. Slowing down to really look at your surroundings. Cleaning. Reading. Feeling the importance of seemingly trivial matters and recognizing God's presence in them.

Folding laundry. Mopping. Pouring coffee into a mug. Accepting a plate of food from a friend. Watching the leaves fall. Wrapping gifts.

I am thankful for a day to do such things. Allowing myself to linger in the moments because this day is only going to last for a few more hours and then it is gone.

My mind wanders to distant places and dreams held for the near future. As my cup of evening tea steeps I take a deep breath and recognize that my place is where God guides me to be and when I pay attention to that I see it more clearly. His will be done.

Being at home is full of good.

A New Thing

Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old.
Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.

- Isaiah 43.18

Sometimes we forget that our Lord is already taking care of our future and all the new life that He is already bringing. That any pain or suffering we encounter now will be washed away.

Perhaps it will be soon, Perhaps not. But we have these promises to remind us that what we have here is not fully complete. It is not all that it is meant to be. There is a reason for that.

But God is actively making the new. Instead of the image of God just sitting there looking down at the goings on, imagine Him everywhere at once, creating, doing, actively making. He makes new that which we neglect to see. Do we miss it?