Wider Field of Vision

I slowed down this weekend by going away. By going out of town, it forced me to do nothing but be with family. To observe. To talk. To sit together in the spacious home in Gainesville. I read Dante in the car (and maybe a little bit of Winnie the Pooh with Elliott). I relaxed on Saturday afternoon talking for several hours as the clouds built outside but only left humidity. I stayed up too late watching The Hunger Games  (Jason stayed up late with me) because I had read the book, but had never seen the movie. and we all ate at one of my favourite spots for lunch after church, Bento.

Sometimes it takes stepping away from all the narrowness of my daily life to see the light. What I normally see each day might get swept up in monotonous patterns. It doesn't always, but sometimes I catch myself in the rounds of it. Even if it is relaxing to be at home, I also need that landscape opened up to widen my field of vision. It is when my field is narrowed for awhile that I feel the tension building inside of me. My creativity runs dry.

It's not because anything in my life is bad or neglected. It is more that I get stuck in certain ways or trapped in the melancholy of a stressful day. And when I analyse myself I realize that it is almost always me putting stress on myself. It is not someone else doing that.

When I take a step back from the narrow field in which I might be struggling, I see the beauty of the bigger picture. I see the light and the goodness that is ever-shining into my life. It is not just out there somewhere where I cannot reach it. Even if I have several rough days (last week had a few of those), the overall picture is full of God's goodness and I cannot deny His presence in my life. And when I get that feeling back, I feel the softness of His presence, and it comforts me and sets me at ease.

His softness shows itself to me in the light from the morning sunrise. In the laugh and cuteness of my niece. In the talks with my brothers and sisters-in-law. In the meals shared together. In the simpleness of just being with each other, lounging on the sofas eating homemade ice cream. And in the good feeling of coming home and starting a new week.