Cold Mornings and Warm Musings

We have almost reached the end of 2019. Can you believe it? Just a few days left to write 2019 as your present year before entering into a new decade.

The chilled winter morning summons me awake (or maybe just my alarm does). I wake up earlier these days. I am more productive in the mornings, so why should I sleep later? After giving this a considered thought, I decided to start pushing my alarm to an earlier time to see how that goes. I now have more time in the morning to eat more leisurely as I read Scripture, and then I have more time to journal after that with my cup of coffee. That is definitely worth getting up a little earlier for.

I love mornings. They are freshened with the scent of a new day. My mind is the least cluttered it will be all day. The sun rises gently when I am getting ready, and on these darker winter mornings, it takes a bit longer for our sun to gain some height in the sky. I enjoy watching the light slowly increase as I sit dipping my spoon into my oatmeal with bananas, walnuts, honey, and cinnamon.

If I get to wear a cosy sweater, the day is even better. That is  partly why these winter days are my favourite. My coffee is now brewed in the french press, the light has grown, and I pour coffee into a mug and take it into my living room to journal. 

Journaling is my everyday essential - like a cup of coffee. But it is good for my soul, not just waking me up. I get many questions about what I journal about. The answer - anything I want. Anything at all. Whatever is on my heart, swirling in my mind, raining on my day, sifting through my thoughts. That's the beauty of journaling. Expression in the forms of words on a page is my own daily soul-food. It nourishes me. I do not do so well with speaking my words. Writing them is better. Writing is where I can freely roam and let loose the confines of my heart. The words can flow outward and usually the result is that I figure something out (some answer or some option) as I write. And very frequently the words then turn into prayer.

And there I sometimes sit, mixing, stirring, dwelling, pondering within such prayers. In this contemplative time, I am drawing closer to God. Resting at His feet, feeling nourished by His love.

I Wonder as I Wander

It started with a mysterious package in the mail. An unexpected gift arriving at the perfect moment.

This vinyl was the gift, the new Christmas record by Future of Forestry, and I immediately opened my little suitcase record player and played these new songs. I didn't know my soul needed these songs so much.

There is a song on this record, by Future of Forestry, taken from the hymn written by John Jacob Niles in 1933, that has captured me so deeply. 

I wonder as I wander out under the sky,

How Jesus our Savior,  He came here to die

For lost broken people like you and like I

I wonder as I wander out under the sky

If Jesus had wanted for any small thing,

A star in the sky, or a bird on the wing,

Or all of God's angels in heaven to sing,

He surely could have it, 'cause he was the King.

This song is hauntingly beautiful. You should go listen to it immediately. 

Future of Forestry captured the essence of the mystery of God so eloquently using the words and a variety of instruments. Ebbing and flowing just as your heart needs in a season of paradoxes - dark and light, quick and slow. Emotion rises and silences, leaving you resting in your heart whilst wrapped in the warm embrace of God's love. The mystery of that love is enfolded into each crevice that has shown a crack lately. Those doubtful moments when the day seems like it will crash down directly on your head. 

Wonder.
Oh how we need to wonder as we wander.

How Jesus our Savior came here in human form as a baby, to die for us. God in flesh. A myth of the gods that is actually true. That mysterious love is a truth we need to dwell in. Sometimes the resonance of a song can do that. It creates a space for your heart to sit in wonder as the music fills the air, diving and swirling like loose violin strings playing the air. Let that wonder caress those rough spots in your heart. 

Merry Christmas, friends.

Thoughts on Re-Reading

The literary man re-reads, other men simply read.
- C.S. Lewis

When you read, do you get a sense of realness and awe?

How do you feel about re-reading books?

I love to talk about books with people, to hear what they enjoy reading, why they enjoy that genre, who their favourite authors are, etc. Many times the topic will come up about re-reading books. It has come to my attention that there exist people who do not ever want to re-read books (I've heard it declared from their own lips), which might be why those people do not ever buy books. I compare that with people like me who love to buy books so that I can re-read them and write in them, underline them, and visit them often. My books are friends that always have wisdom to offer, and I know I need that.

C.S. Lewis re-read books, and thought that one could enjoy them even more with a second reading. He would write the date in the back of a book whenever he finished reading it. Not saying that every book he read was worth a second reading (he did write "never again!" at the back of Don Juan by Byron), but he was seeking out the good books, and that is the point.

I would agree with Mr. Lewis, naturally. It's not that I want to re-read every book, but I want to pick out books that I would most likely read again, and gain new insights from a second reading, or third reading. 

Lewis reminds us "if you don’t read good books you will read bad ones. If you don’t go on thinking rationally, you will think irrationally. If you reject aesthetic satisfactions you will fall into sensual satisfactions” (“Learning in War-Time”, The Weight of Glory). 

Why do you read? What to you read?

I believe that reading should transform you. It should expand who we are. It should teach us from those who are wiser than we are. For seeing through other eyes is a gateway into another world, filled with experiences not your own. Dwell in that, and learn from it.  

Oh Come!

O Wisdom of our God Most High,
guiding creation with power and love:
come to teach us the path of knowledge!

The season of jolly music, cheerful decor, special sales, and crowds is upon us. We are entrenched in it, with Christmas just around the corner. I have been praying that in this season of Advent, my heart may dwell in the meaning. This darkness that precedes Christmas has a purpose.

We long for the things we hope to come. Advent is a time of longing. A time of "not yet", and "I hope". What does it feel like to dwell in a darkness that has not seen the light yet?

We can experience the time as reflecting on a dark time, but we can hold onto the hope of the coming Christ expectantly, especially because we know the story. We have seen God's plan. We have celebrated every year.

In order to appreciate the true coming of light, we have to experience getting through the darkness.

Darkness.
What would it be like to not know the story of Christ? To sit in darkness without the knowledge that God was about to come to earth to view the world from our perceptive? Would we still be waiting, yearning, hoping for something?

We might call out for someone to answer. We might use names that describe Christ, but do not name Him directly.

Oh come, wisdom!
Oh come, day spring!
Oh come, key of David!
Oh come, desire of nations!

The O Antiphons are the poems and phrases I love to come back to each year. They help me re-visit the pre-Christmas darkness of waiting and hoping. They call out to our Lord, who has all the answers, but remains hidden in mystery until the right moment. 

We long for what we may not know yet. Something beyond our own imagining is coming.

If we embrace our Advent season with our heels in history, we shall see ourselves in a dark place of the un-knowing. Are we willing to venture there? Or does the commercialization of Christmas distract and consume us? It is admittedly difficult to focus on the meaningful, deep, hidden things during this season. May we seek out moments to think deeply about these beautiful, once hidden, mysteries of Christ.

Travelogue - Iceland

Yes, Iceland captured my heart. It was a quick capturing. You hear it so much these days from many people. Tourism rose sharply in recent years and now the place to go is Iceland. While I am definitely not one to follow the crowd, literally or figuratively, there is a reason why Iceland has such a draw.

Cold. Icy. Wintry. Desolate. Dramatic. Stark.

You might be thinking Iceland is summed up with these words. These words may have truth to them, but it is so much more. Interestingly, Iceland has a moderate climate that isn't too frigid, thanks to the Gulf Stream that circles the island. Otherworldly beauty like you've never seen before is Iceland. Stark contrasts, black and green dramatic landscapes, volcanoes, icy blue glaciers, and black sand beaches. It is a place of mystery and wonder. Iceland is a place of danger, history, proud culture, and only 300,000 people.

I love places of mystery and wonder. 

No wonder so many stories, sagas, and tales have been created here.
No wonder Iceland makes me want to write my own stories and sagas. 

Not only is the scenery stunning and captivating, but the people are friendly and easy-going. They are happy and content with the gift of the everyday. They don't let the worry or care of a matter sink in. They are immensely proud of their Icelandic roots and stories. I love that. I want to hear those stories as I journey amongst the lava fields and mountains. And there is so much more to explore, so I will have to go back.

Packing List:

- Wool coat
- Warm hat/beanie
- Camera
- Hiking shoes/boots
- Journal (maybe write a few Icelandic words to use)

Advent Confession

I am dreadfully behind in all my ideal ideas of what I want to do in this Advent season. I want to read in my Advent prayer book each day. I want to sit and ponder the season of darkness that precedes the coming of Light in Christ. I want to be more prayerful. I want to be more aware of the very moment I am breathing in the breath of God. I want to write more. I want to encourage others more. I was to do thoughtful things for others. More. More. More.

I could go on and on, honestly. It is never ending all that I want to do, with goodness as the intention. I could beat myself up quite a bit, and be hard on myself. But stop. Be gentle. Hear these words -

He sees me through the eyes of grace.

Oh, how I need to dwell in that truth.

God is deep within us, never leaving. We are just feeling our way through life. Sometimes we are not doing everything just as we want to do it. Our mind has mountains, and we try to scale them finding ourselves sometimes sliding backwards at some points.

That's why Christ offers us hope. He knows we struggle. He knows our struggle. He has felt our struggle.

This season is a season of contrasts and paradoxes. Things that shouldn't have happened, happen, and go against what was expected. But it is all both/and. Not if/or. 

Darkness and light.
Silence and song.
Poor and rich.
Loss and gain.
Waiting and receiving.
Cold and warmth.
Feeling lost and finding the way.
Meek and strong.
Receiving and giving.

Embrace these. Listen to the contrasts. Feel them, and think about them. What do they mean in your life? What is God trying to tell you through them? Let them be what they are in your life, but pay attention to their ringing in your days.

And no matter the season, or the situation - He sees me through the eyes of grace.

Travelogue - London

When I travel, or reminiscence on my previous travels, I am filled with gratitude and deep thankfulness to be able to have experienced such places. Each place holds a special notion of its own - a secret to discover. The treasures to find whilst walking the streets, eating in the restaurants, exploring the bookshops, wandering through museums, learning about and admiring the architecture, and fueling up at coffee shops.

Sometimes I randomly start thinking about a place I love, and London is one of them. For being such a huge, expansive city, with almost two thousand years of history, it might make one feel overwhelmed by it. But in my experience, I have only felt overwhelmed in the most touristy spots, and not elsewhere. When I get out and about in the unique neighborhoods, I get a different feeling. 

When I first went to London (back in 2009 - ten years ago!), my tour was all touristy, and I do admit, it was exhausting. I saw the famous sights - Tower Bridge, Big Ben and Parliament, Buckingham Palace, Trafalgar Square, Piccadilly Circus, etc...which means I really didn't get to see the heart of London. I saw the busy, hectic, historic and beautiful, but crazy and touristy parts of the city.

Since that first visit, every subsequent visit has been less and less touristy, and more and more enjoyable. Riding the Tube has become a fun discovery of history and differences in stations, trains, and details. The different neighborhoods are what grab my heart, attention, and time. My favourite days have been spent in Chelsea, Kensington, and Marylebone. Sure these areas can get busy, as there are many shops and cafes, but it's a different kind of busy. It has more of a local feeling of busy. And I am just one of those locals. 

Packing List:

- Brolly (umbrella)
- Good walking shoes/boots
- Roomy bag to store all the books you will buy
- Camera
- CityMapper App (highly recommend!)