The Brothers K

 

Reflections after a re-read (a different translation) of The Brothers Karamazov, the classic novel by Fyodor Dostoevsky. Short reflections on a long and complex novel. Arguably one of the greatest novels written.

Even though it's the 19th century Russia, this story is timeless in all the themes, issues, family drama, life choices, lies, and reconciliation. What a human novel - filled with the faults and growth of the characters. Some things I noticed this time:

Forgiveness shouts out at the end. This is not something I had noticed so much when I first read it, and it's beautiful. The rivalry of the women, Katya and Grushenka, and the rivalry amongst the brothers themselves (Mitya, Ivan, and Alyosha). The idea of Ivan "sacrificing" himself for his brother Mitya shone through as I read the developing relationships. The changing of Ivan over the course of the novel hit me as deeply noticeable - he's haunted by a demon, he's possibly recognizing God's presence along the way, awareness grows of the evil he indirectly caused pronouncing his atheistic philosophy, believing that "all is lawful", which is taken to the extreme by another character. Ivan suffers for his grave mistaken beliefs and he accepts the suffering. 

The choices of all the characters ripples outward in rings that stretch for a long time and to many people. This is so true of our lives, yet we almost never deeply consider our impact - whether by words or deeds. This book is such a good example of that across many characters. They ask the biggest questions and grapple with it.

Somehow with the narrative style, you get inside each character's logic and life philosophy, getting insights to each of them; the point is so that we see ourselves in each of them. As you read you can see yourself in each character: in their flaws and hopefully the beautiful triumphs and expressions of love. Alyosha makes me want to be a better person, more loving, gentle, and faithful. He holds wisdom and listening skills, not reacting from his own desires, but in charity/love.

It's not obvious at the start, but as the trial progresses for the murder that is committed, the brothers show love and commitment so fully - love is what saves them all, as they each deal with their personal struggles, the brothers become new men, remade into more loving creatures. Still with flaws and sins, but with an awareness and the ability to confront them, deciding to choose love. Alyosha leaves the monastery and sees how his place is in the world as his mentor Father Zosima told him, Ivan sees his mistaken views and possibly sees God who he argued against with the fullest of his atheistic rational thought. Mitya learns and grows as he sees his actions and choices led to a murder that he was charged with. Through a growing humility, he's a changed man. 

This is a book to re-read many times. With each reading, you notice new things, see yourself in the characters differently, and learn through them. 

Duke Humfrey's Musings

 

As we transition into Autumn and returning to school, I dream about going to school in my own self-study way, so I am flashing back to my study time at Oxford this last Spring with my notebook reflections as I sat in the oldest part of the Bodleian Library, Oxford, the Duke Humfrey's Library. It is literally like stepping back in time, in sights and scents and atmosphere. So dreamy to sit there and write/read. Enjoy this reflection from my Oxford Notebook.

At last - back in the Duke Humfrey's Library for a little journal session before they close it at 5 pm. I took a quick stroll around, and picked an aisle all to myself to sit with the oldest books - sermons and theology. I smile. I can't help but smile here - the place exudes literary history. Was this the desk C.S. Lewis sat at to read some of the 16th century books as he wrote his tome on the whole of the 16th century, excluding drama? Who knows, but it is a potential, unless he sat in the same spot each time. 

I breathe deep of the ancient book scent. Do people ever open these books? When was the last time these were opened? I wonder - has it been 250 years since any reader opened Stella In Evangelium Lucae? Mostly Latin isn't read these days unless you're at Oxford, Rome, or other high scholarship locations.

It seems appropriate to spend my last day here in the Duke Humfrey's Library. I've been wanting to come since I got here, but all the books I requested kept me busy in the other libraries. I am so thankful to come up here, round and round the creaking wooden stairs to this library that's been here since 1488, collecting books, going through rough patches of destruction during the reformation, restored, and expanded for scholars all the time. History rests in these hushed aisles amongst the old books. With subdued lighting it's peaceful and protected from harsh sunlight. 

New Testament studies are above my head on the shelves. Anyone want to read the books Whitby on the New Testament Vol I and Vol II? I still can't believe I get to sit here, not even as a Oxford student. Just a regular person who thinks herself some kind of student. Oxford inspires me around every library-edged corner.

When I tell people about this place, they either don't understand, or they are very jealous and want to come. I take photos, but you can't capture the atmosphere and scent. The feel of the wood or the floor. The sounds or the halls and stairs to get here. Who gets to dust between the books I wonder? Do they want help?

How to enjoy the library when you have to leave in 10 minutes now? You sit and soak. Soak in the atmosphere. Write a few words trying to capture it. Stare at the books, notice the details. Smile at the age of this place. The history that this library has seen. How it hasn't changed except for updated security.

Appreciate it to the full.

Be thankful. Lord, you are so good. This place is a gift. 

Breathe in that aged book scent and tuck those memories into your mind.

I jot notes in pencil to remember my experience and time spent here today. Can time please slow down? I have to go soon, too soon. The library will close. The silence in here late at night must be deafening. Those bookish ghosts must have a field day. 

Is it the most ancient, atmospheric library? Right here, sink into it, let the silence fill you and the scene you take in inspire you. It's a beauty the bookish & history lover will embrace. These books have seen so much of the passage of time, and it continues, on and on. May I share in this time for the tiny blip that it is in the grand length of it.

The bell has rung - the library is closed.

Summer to Autumn Reading Nook

 

I have this beautiful Oxford University Press hardback edition of The Allegory of Love by C.S. Lewis I ordered some time ago and have been wanting to re-read. My old copy is a falling-apart-at-the-seams paperback edition. But I have been wanting to re-read it anyway, as it's been many years since I read it. This is not your typical apologetic C.S. Lewis book. It's an academic study of the medieval mind and specific poets who illustrate the medieval view of courtly love. Lewis clears up such misunderstandings (or rarely thought about) concepts of how the medieval poets viewed/wrote about love and marriage. This is essential to understand any reading of a medieval love poem, and even from the general mindset before the 11th century. It was a revolution, Lewis notes, for the 11th century poets to begin to express the romantic sense of love as we know/think of it today, or certainly up to the 19th century. Our "new" ideas of love, courting, placing the women ahead and elevating them was not the norm before the 11th century. Marriage was made out of an obligation and contract, not out of love, which shaped the whole way of thinking, which subsequently was how the poets wrote about it. The way we read Aristotle and Plato can be read through our eyes in our tradition and yet it's not their understanding of love. 

A recent discovery is The Intellectual Life by A.G. Sertillanges. This is a gem of a book. I am not very far into it yet, but every line is a nugget of wisdom for how to live the intellectual life. How to manage your day, thinking, processes to be aimed toward this goal. Can you give a couple hours each day to such study? This is where he breaks it down for the one who wants to pursue such a life - how to schedule one's day and time, stay organized, take notes, maintain memory, etc. I've already been underlining so much in this book. It would be ideal for any student or self-learner who wants to be more purposeful in their intellectual life.

Learning about one of the early desert fathers, The Life of Antony by Athanasius is a short book detailing the humble life Antony had out in the desert, living on bread and water and prayer. It's a study of a life, Antony, who heard the word of Scripture read in church he was inspired to leave everything and move to the desert. He was met by demons to challenge him over his long years, but he was never distracted by them and they fled. They continued to try, but he was not swayed. It's a story of endurance, trusting in the Lord, and resisting the temptations that Satan throws at us.

I've been in the midst of an Oscar Wilde study, reading his Complete Short Fiction as well as the short essay book The Decay of Lying. I am so interested in studying him. He was a brilliant writer, his short stories start with fairy tales and moral tales for children, and move into more morally ambivalent creative tales. I find myself disagreeing with almost everything he writes about in the two essays (written as Platonic dialogues), and yet, they seem to me to be satirical, criticizing the notion of lying, for example, for art. Is he actually serious in these outrageous philosophies? His early stories all had a moral of the story, his later fiction hones in on lying for personal gain and art for art's sake. He struggled all his life with joining the Catholic Church; he almost joined several times, but backed away, and I just wonder if these tales and essays (and his plays) were his way of critiquing and trying to reconcile the ideas of the aesthetic movement he was part of at the turn of the 19th century, with the Catholic faith he was so drawn to (even converting on his deathbed). I would like to explore more here.

As we move into a new season, I am moving into the liturgy, which has fascinated and drawn me for so many years. This book I stumbled across Light on Darkness by Cosima Clara-Gilhammer is a study of the liturgy from church history, the meaning of the words, hymns, chants, sacred traditions, and how many of these built modern things we know today (art, music, literature, architecture). It's like the liturgy is hidden in plain sight frequently, and those who don't see it, miss it. I love that idea, and am enjoying as I start to read more of this beautifully illustrated collection along the liturgical journey.