Paradox of Time in 2020

Coffee cheers!

Sometimes I ponder about the oddness of our lives, and how we experience things in our everyday (like time and the strangeness of it), whilst drinking my morning coffee at my desk, next to my biggest bookshelf with a view outside.

Is it me or has the pace of this year been both slow and fast? The paradox of time is that we are stuck in it (and cannot see beyond this very moment), but it somehow has the ability to move at different paces according to how we pay attention (or do not pay attention).

I find that when I pay attention in the present moment, fully and deeply, noticing details and feelings time slows down to meet me. When I am able to do this the feeling of stress and the never-ending to do list notions tend to slip away, not disappearing but just possessing a lesser hold on my soul.

But things cannot always be slow and my attention is often very scattered and as I try to accomplish several things at once (which never really works well). Time dwindles quickly and I never have enough hours to finish and it seems like I never will. 

Is this the kind of year you are are glad to see end? Has a slower pace been granting you time you have needed? Or has there been no slower pace? I have had a mixture of both, which is probably why I am feeling this paradox of time. I have found that when I slow down and focus on one thing, noticing the details, and appreciating what it is, I am able to accomplish more in the end (whether that is completing my to do list or just tidying up my home). But when I rush, I am not appreciating, only flying by.

Simple notions like slowing down become complex as we make them that way with our desire to do more than we should. We are all different in the amount we can do, of course. But all of us can benefit from a more thoughtful pace in everything. I am learning this and trying to do this in my own days. It is really hard. This morning coffee time is my critical time to start the day in this mindset, with prayers that it continues through the rest of the day.