26 July 2016

Northernness and Sun Showers

I am sitting here, watching the grey late afternoon clouds cover patches of heavy sunlight. I sniffle, and blow my nose (thanks to a cold I have). Something about me becomes more quiet and thoughtful when I have the sniffles, perhaps a hesitation in my body to do much causes my mind to work. Only, it doesn't have much energy, so it drains away quickly. Also, the thoughts may not be necessarily cohesive, so this post could be a jumble and rambling of words that I may read later and wonder what happened to me.

Anyway, the clouds roll in, and I wish for rain. I am at home after work with no agenda other than to rest, read, relax, and hopefully rid myself of the sniffles. Today was a case of not feeling quite myself due to feelings analogous to being stuck in a fog at times. A dullness followed, and I fought it all day.

Let the rain come and wash it all away and I can sit, snuggled with my books and a blanket as the rain drenches the sun-parched land. But it does not rain.

Let me dream of days when the afternoons begin to cool before the sun goes down. A coming of a new season, with lovely, mysterious air abounding. With winds shifting to draw in the northernness, both real and imaginary (as C.S. Lewis wrote about the longing for that other-worldly landscape - northernness, which influenced him since the beginning of his imagination. This brought me to the Bodleian Library online exhibit about pure northernness.)

Alas, the sun is breaking up the darker clouds, much to my dismay. Angles of corner light keep filtering through my sheer, white curtains. On the whole, the light fades and I think about putting the hot water on for tea. With a chilly interior realm, the exterior slams against it, with brutal heat. I must remedy that with cool indoor ennui, and then remedy that with a cup of tea. Tea fixes it all.

And just like that, the rain is falling, against all my sodden hopes, it falls in thick drops as the sun still permeates the sky. And just like that, feelings of northernness abound again as the raindrops fall from the sun.

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