Feather

A feather floating by my eyes

Wanders aimlessly with the wind

It can't see where its going

Or when it might come back again

While dancing in the breeze

It enjoys vistas from an elm

When at last resting on a limb

Somewhere outside its realm

No point to the ventures

Just riding along with no remorse

Are we sometimes like feathers

With no passion to stay the course?

Thoughts Drift Across the Sea

Tynemouth Castle and Priory Ruins on the North Sea, England

Ink touches down to the page

Bringing these thoughts around again

Jettisoning me out of this place

And using up this fine pen

Oft my thoughts drift across the sea

To rolling green hills and barren mounts

Dramatic cliffs, bluebells, and ruins

And more train lines than one can count

Mix ancient history with muted hues

And culture bright with stories and lore

Such age, deep tradition, keeps my attention

These intrigues leave me wanting more

Lamp of Light

Durham, England

And we have something more sure, the prophetic word, to which you will do well to pay attention as to a lamp shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts...

-2 Peter 1.19

No matter what dark place we are in, the Word of God is our lamp of hope. We can trust in everything we read because God orchestrated the writings across centuries creating one book of instruction, wisdom, poetry, warning, prophesy, and history. These words were all inspired by God and He made sure the content included provides us the nourishment we need. A timeless collection written from many different angles of time, location, and person. Yet the truth all remains consistent across these varied contributors.

We can be confident these words are all truly God's Word because if it was all just a passing craze like we are used to seeing these days, the book would have faded from humanity as the world changed. But the Bible has outlasted it all, and it will continue to do so.
G.K. Chesterton wrote, in Orthodoxy,  "If our faith had been a mere fad of the fading empire, fad would have followed fad in the twilight, and if the civilization ever re-emerged (and many such have never re-emerged) it would have been under some new barbaric flag."

Here, we can find truth, meaning, and understanding for our lives. We will see purpose and gifts that God had given others and reflect upon how God wants to use our own tiny lives in His plans.
We are meant to think, ponder, and reflect on these words and let them sink into our souls. Take little passages at a time and think about what God wants us to learn today from these words written on parchment centuries ago.

The Northernness

Magdalen College, Oxford- C.S. Lewis' rooms are marked by red flowers on the windowsill of 3 windows near the center. Can you spot them? (click on the the photo to enlarge)

The "northernness", as C.S. Lewis calls it, is that which he searched for during the many years he was an atheist. It was "joy". Something he longed for but couldn't find. The northernness was an "indescribable intensity of heart-breaking longing."

Then, in 1926, Lewis met J.R.R. Tolkien at Oxford University where they were both professors of English literature. Tolkien invited Lewis to join him in meeting with other friends, and soon Lewis was listening to Tolkien read his current story aloud so it could be critiqued. A group started doing this each week, they called themselves The Inklings. They met at The Eagle and Child Pub or in Lewis' rooms at Magdalen College. They would bring their writings and read it to the others, where encouragement and good-hearted conversation was ensued into the evening. Tolkien said later that if it wasn't for Lewis' encouragement, he would never have completed The Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Lewis was surrounded by Christians, yet he had not put the puzzle pieces together in his own life. He was perplexed by the other men who all believed in the good and gracious God. After dinner on September 19, 1931, Tolkien, Lewis, and another friend walked around the college gardens until 4 AM talking, and Lewis finally realized and accepted that God was God, and thus began his new journey as a Christian. He had found joy.

This story is so inspiring to me, as a Christian, a writer, a lover of literature, lover of Oxford, a person interested in encouraging relationships, and good talks. The spirit of these men is contagious, even in today's modern approach to friendships. Today is the 80 year mark of when Lewis accepted God into his heart. Oh, how much has changed in the world in 80 years, but all our needs are still the same. We can attach ourselves to this modern age and all the ideals, false promises, lies, and tricks to lure us away, or we can choose to live a deeper, more meaningful life that is centered on God instead of this world. It is getting to be more and more difficult as everything around us tries to distract us, but we can avoid most of it, and embrace the northernness in our lives, with God. It is by God all things are created, and through God all things are held together.

Weather

Alnwick Castle, England

It is an awkward day of heat and sun

The beckoning autumn just begun

Causing my soul to contemplate

The enticements and all the bait

Like a prelude I know is playing

That doesn't reach where I am staying

I hearken, but too far away

Are the blissful sounds of play

I pause and ponder the time

Wishing this place could redefine

Alterations I cannot make

Indeed, removal of this stake

An unnamed spot of which I pine

There is where the weather is fine

Pieces

A page from my journal, 2007

Your soul has a curious shape because it is a hollow made to fit a particular swelling in the infinite contours of the Divine substance, or a key to unlock one of the doors in the house with many mansions. For it is not humanity in the abstract that is to be saved, but you- you, the individual reader...

-C.S. Lewis

Sometimes I just feel like I am just scattered in pieces. Not always sure of where those pieces are supposed to fit, I am left with a new puzzle in my head. And as I try to fit the puzzle together, there's a missing piece. And it's my fault I leave that piece out. It's my fault when a piece falls crooked so it doesn't fit with the piece next to it. It's all due to my own resistance. 

One reason I love keeping a journal is to go back later and flip through those pages full of my thoughts and occasional sketches, like the one above. I am no artist. In fact, if you saw some of the other drawings, you'd laugh and think a child drew them. Reading my journals from years ago either makes me laugh, remember good times or struggles I went through, or be thankful for the wisdom I have gained since then. It also brings into perspective all that I still have to learn. 

C.S. Lewis always brings me back to the truth of the matter. Of course I have trouble putting the puzzle together. Of course there is a piece missing, or the hollow spot, where only the Divine will fit. The more I try to fit my own plans into that space, it won't fit. Try as I might. But I have to surrender that piece to God. I can't claim it for myself at all. And once I give that space to God, He will use it. Get ready...

Awaken

The artistic mind gathers dust

 if not used

A similar scenario with anything,

I mused

When surrounded by dark clouds

and such drear

The music, we oftentimes

cannot hear

When our sight is shortened

and colors fade

It is cumbersome to enjoy 

all God has made

Awaken! And shake the dust

from your feet

And think about the goodness

you are about to meet

Actions We Take

In all the daily choices we make

We are reflected in the actions we take

How is it we let others see

Our true colors in consistency

We waver and bend

And barely notice the descend

As the integrity slides from grip

The wisdom once held will slip

Until noting the fall

Then we answer the call

And delve back the core we still have 

Events that Shape Us

The Chrysler Building

As our country took time to remember the 10 year anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, I thought about how in some ways it seems like the event was ages ago and many things have changed. But in quite a lot of ways, it still feels like yesterday. It kept our country in shock for a long time. The history of our lives was being written, changed, sorted by tragedy that we didn't fully comprehend. How could we?

We are shaped by events that grip us in uncertainty and fear. A choice is set before us, as to which way we are to be shaped. Are we shaped for good, with love as our guide? Or shaped with hatred, seeking revenge? Do not let the evils of this world dictate your life. By doing so, you are giving into that evil, which is exactly what it wanted.

I remember the first time I flew after 9/11. March 2003 with my brother Jason, to New York City. It was 18 months after the hijacked planes flew into the towers, and things were different, but the questions still lingered- would it happen again? Was there another attack planned?

I was learning that in order to enjoy the blessed life God has given me, I cannot live in fear of the "what if....."

So, Jason and I headed to New York City. As our plane neared the city, I sat there thinking about all those people who were in the hijacked planes and how they saw what I was now looking at just before they died. The vibrant, diverse, expansive, and historic city that my plane approached. 

It was a humbling experience. One that also helped me jump over that hurdle of fear. I took a deep breath and realized that I wasn't scared of what lie ahead. I am certain my many prayers during the flight eased my worries, but that moment of realizing the fears did not control me was like being released from a tiny prison cell. Free!

I had the best time in New York City with Jason. We walked so much each day that my legs ached as I got into bed, but I didn't care. We took the wrong subway and ended up in Queens when we meant to go to Broadway. I stood in front of the Tiffany & Co. window gazing at the ridiculously expensive jewelry like Audrey Hepburn in "Breakfast at Tiffany's", except it was snowing and was 18 degrees. I stepped into the New York Public Library with wide eyes. We went inside the Chrysler Building and felt like we'd been transported into the 1930s when it was built. We visited the Guggenheim, Frank Lloyd Wright's well-known building (his last one before he died), and stared at the art we didn't understand, but marveled at the architecture. And we watched, from our hotel window, a big group of anti-war protesters marching down the street to the UN, only 4 blocks from our hotel.

Oh the tales we have to cherish of such an incredible city.

God is Always There

Just a few thoughts from my journal dated 9/13/2001 (senior year of High School):

"This is something I will never forget- I will always remember where I was when I found out. I was in 2nd period with my friend Danielle. Accounting class. We had heard rumors of a plane crashing into the World Trade Center tower, but they were rumors and we have no idea of any details. Then the teacher next door came in the room and told us what was going on in New York. I will always remember feeling my heart fall into my feet. I didn't even know what to think- who would ever expect to hear something like this? Suddenly my normal school day and laughs with Danielle became a day of sadness, questions, worry, and crying for others. Since the TV in our class didn't work, we quickly moved to the other classroom we sometimes used. 

Sitting there in front of the TV finding out what happened and seeing the scenes unfold before me made me feel sick. Danielle and I had tears in our eyes. I was scared. Scared about what it meant for our lives...In memory of this tragic day, I suggest turning to Psalm 119. 49-72. It is the country's prayer for strength, hope, and comfort. I say we all need to remember in these sad times that God is faithful and loving to us even when evil is present. God is there. Turn to Him."

God is there, even when evil is present.

God is faithful, even when there seems to be no hope.

God is powerful, even when we seem to have lost it all.

The truth is - God is always there.