Unfinished Days

I don't know how but days pass by
without clanging or a sound.
They pass unnoticed, shallow pools,
like puddles on the ground.
No depth, no substance, they dry up
quickly, cracks forms on the dirt;
a quick replenish leads to more need
as it drains away, masquerading hurt;
with flaunts and flatters, no genuine
truth shared, leaving everything dry.
Without water. Without growth.
Just with speculation as to why.

One of my biggest fears has always been complacency. Not moving forward. Remaining stagnant. Not learning. Not growing.

When there is a day that I feel like I don't accomplish something, I struggle with that. I feel like a failure. Whispers like lies rise in my mind telling me things I shouldn't believe. I have always been this way.

It's at this point I should instead be listening to some different words. And these are the words I want to keep on my heart for such a time. To defeat the lies. From an old Irish hymn -- Be Thou My Vision:

You're my inheritance
now and always
You and you only 
The first in my heart
High King of heaven
my treasure You are

Heart of my own heart
Whatever befall
Still be my Vision
O Ruler of all!

About Tomorrow

Last weekend I was sitting in my home writing in my journal when a wild gust of wind came like lightning through the neighborhood. It drew my attention as I could see and hear it, and it was a lot stronger than a normal gust. Suddenly, I heard a crack and a loud thud. I jumped up, not knowing what that was, and saw a huge tree limb (probably weighing 1,000 pounds by my landlord's estimate) that fell and hit my neighbor's garage, going through the roof. It landed about two feet from his jeep, parked in the grass, not too far from my car.

Thankfully, nobody was injured. I mean any of us could have been outside at that moment. I was going back and forth through the yard doing laundry, and my neighbor is always outside doing things. You just cannot predict what's going to happen in the next moment, or the next day.

It is just a reminder that life is fragile. Sometimes the trees around us are fragile. Things are not guaranteed. I certainly wasn't expecting a huge part of a tree to fall and cause havoc for a while. Just like we don't expect a certain gust of wind to come along to cause that. And we don't expect to hear bad news, or lose a job, or be hurt by someone. But these things do happen, and while we live everyday in hope, we also cannot brag or get a big ego about what we think will happen. We are humans tied to time, so we really don't know. Thankfully, our God is not, and He sees everything all at once, above time and circumstance. That is what I will brag about.

And now I have a word for you who brashly announce, “Today—at the latest,tomorrow—we’re off to such and such a city for the year. We’re going to start a business and make a lot of money.” You don’t know the first thing about tomorrow. You’re nothing but a wisp of fog, catching a brief bit of sun before disappearing. Instead, make it a habit to say, “If the Master wills it and we’re still alive, we’ll do this or that.”
James 4.13-15

Sweltering Summer

How many of you are over the heat? Has Summer become droll yet?
If you are asking me, then, yes. It has become risible and long.

Summer drags on and on in these Southeast parts. Six to Seven months of it just doesn't strike my fancy. I can handle a few months. I get it. But not more than that. So, this cold drink is a welcomed friends on hot afternoons. Other than staying inside or swimming, it is the only way to feel refreshed for a little bit.

When it gets to be around this time in August, I start to grow weary of day after day of the sort of humidity that soaks you in minutes. As I scoffed at the heat, I wondered why the longing for Autumn seems to strike me at the same time every year.

Then it hit me that it coincides with school starting again. It is when I start to see the new Autumn colours, clothes, scarves, boots, and accessories that I am jolted out of my endless-Summer mind-set and remember that there is another season! And maybe one day it will come!

I walk down aisles at the store with journals, pencils, pens, and desk accessories and I think about the excitement I used to feel when school was about to start again. I'd have some new notebooks, pens, and pencils, and that fresh start was such a wonderful feeling. The hope of a new season rises along with the excitement of starting school.

Even though I am not a student, I still have that hope that comes along with the back-to-school reminders I see all over the place. I might just indulge in a new outfit, a new journal, and maybe a pen. Hey, Autumn is coming! I wait in anticipation. 

Reader

For as long as I can remember, I have been a reader. Always toting a book around with me. Lover of words, I would gobble them up every day. It's not something I forced myself to learn to enjoy. It's not something I tried and sort of liked and just kept going until I loved it. It's not something I saw someone else doing and thought to be cool I would need to have my nose in a book. It came natural to me to love reading.

Growing up it was always the cool kids who shunned reading. Well, I never claimed to be cool. And I was always okay with that, with being who I was. One who loved going to the school library. One who knew each book on the "borrow" shelf in English class. Always the reader. Even though I have the tendency to be introverted, I actually enjoyed reading out loud in class, too. Whenever the teacher would have us all take turns reading passages or through a whole book, I enjoyed that. It brought the book to life by speaking the words. And I liked hearing other people read, whether they paused at the right moments, read too quickly, or stumbled over certain words. It created a unity among all of us. We were all on the same page.

With the love of reading, comes the territory of trying to share the love of reading with those who don't like to read much or don't enjoy it. Like a sort of goal of mine, I want to get people to like reading. They don't have to love it like I do, but I get excited when someone tells me they are reading something and really enjoying it. I always have the challenge before me to try to get others to read by giving them books, by encouraging them to read, and asking them questions about what they are reading. I think I might be an un-paid advocate for all the good books out there (there are some really bad books that I would discourage people from reading).

So, what are you reading right now? Do you think it would be considered a good book? Are you enjoying what you are reading or is it something you have to read for some reason (class, work, etc)? What kind of book do you enjoy the most?

End-of-the-Week Delights

After this very busy week at work, my brain feels utterly spent. So, I greet Friday and the weekend with a few delightful things in photos rather than words because it is all I can do. I have a feeling this weekend is going to be full of coffee, books, and writing. Things to engage my imagination and creativity. Until then, I give you these photos and no more words. I hope you weren't expecting me to wax poetics today, or write a dissertation on the book I am currently reading (though that may come later!). 

C.S. Lewis and Imagination

On November 21, 2013, a special event was held at Westminster Abbey in London for C.S. Lewis, to commemorate the dedication of him in Poets' Corner at Westminster Abbey. This is the video of the talk given by Malcolm Guite.

Listen and learn more about truth and beauty through imaginative fiction. And how the imagination is deeply important in expanding our knowledge of truth and gaining wisdom through the words and deeds of Christ.  Malcolm Guite is a leading expert on C.S. Lewis, Tolkien, the Inklings, and many of my favourite English poets. I am always scouring the internet for talks given by Malcolm.

My imagination was in a sense baptized. The rest of me took a bit longer. (C.S. Lewis in Surprised by Joy)

The truth of imagination is part of the message in his writings. He uses reason but pairs it with the imagination to help explore those sometimes difficult concepts. Lewis' writings are a shaft of light in this dark world, and Malcolm Guite brings the depths of the meanings to light in such an enjoyable way. Direct your attention to your imagination.

On Yearning for Travel

Let's talk about how every few months I yearn for travel My heart aches for it. I am getting to that point now where my heart, soul, and imagination need to travel.

It's funny because more than a year and a half ago when I was in my old job, I lived for the vacation days. I only worked so that I could get off to go away and forget all about it. My work situation was pretty grim. It's not like that now. I am extremely blessed because I never mind going into work. There's no such thing as dreaded Mondays anymore. It is really amazing to me, still, that I feel that way.

I say all that because even though I love my job, I still yearn for travel, but it is not to escape my job or my place here. All that is good. Very good. So good that since I started this job a year and a half ago (crazy how time flies!) I have been able to listen to my heart so much more. I've been able to grow more confident in what I am good at and what I love, knowing that I have supporters who like me just the way I am and encourage me to always be true to that.

So, that allows me to let my imagination free to dream about places and things I want to do, knowing that I can do them. The best example of that would be how I dreamed (as I always do) about going to Oxford, England for a few weeks to indulge in my very favourite place, and I was able to do that back in April.

So where am I off to next? You'll just have to stay tuned to see!

A Good List of Don'ts

- Don't forget that life is fragile and this moment will end and not come back
- Don't forget to tell those closest to you how much they mean to you
- Don't change who you are
- Don't let go of your dreams
- Don't lost sight of all the blessings in your life
- Don't let your head hit your pillow with an angry or bitter heart
- Don't regret taking time to talk with a friend over a cup of tea
- Don't ever become complacent with the knowledge you have. Always continue to learn and  grow
- Don't waste time on those who don't reciprocate your friendship
- Don't be afraid to say those kind words sitting on your heart
- Don't worry if you don't have 1,000 friends. Life is most enjoyed with a few good, close friends who know you well
- Don't pass up the opportunity to travel, even if you go solo
- Don't let a failure, mistake, or disappointment keep you down. Get right back up and remember it could be the best thing to happen but you just don't know why, yet
- Don't forget to relax and read good books
- Don't forget to be thankful. Always

Quiet Summer

I headed to my hometown this weekend. Venice is quiet in the middle of the Summer. The tourists are mostly elsewhere. The beach is quiet. The heat is intense. The canals in Venice are lined with sail boats and little condos from the 1970's. But this time of year it all seems to be asleep. So I went for a little drive out to the jetty and it felt like the rocks, the water, the sky were all sleeping. Still and quiet in the heat. The gulf water was as smooth as glass.

This rocky spot holds good memories of Summer's past. I used to come sit on the rocks in the mornings of my Summers home from college, before going into work. The morning is when it is most quiet and peaceful here. With a book on my lap, I'd spend a little bit of time there on the rocks, switching gazes from my book to the waters of the gulf.

The only places that are crowded in the middle of Summer are the restaurants in the popular areas (and the shops), and even those spots are a lot less busy in the Summer. We celebrated birthdays this weekend for my brother and my Mum at the Columbia Restaurant at St. Armand's in Sarasota. It was pretty busy with tourists. But we enjoyed it because we rarely go to that area. The restaurant has a long history in Florida (with various locations) and has some delicious Cuban food. If you are in the area, it's a good choice.

Around My Home

Here are a few things around my home that make me happy and bring good thoughts to the busy days I have been having. A book and my journal. I am loving this book Unfinished Tales by J.R.R. Tolkien. I bought this in Oxford but am just now starting to read it. The words on these pages are so beautiful. They are stories Tolkien wrote that were not completed, but the way he was so detailed and thoughtful about the history of elves and men is inspiring. He truly took his craft seriously and I get swept up in these characters' journeys. These are unfinished, and yet they express his immense and deep love of writing more and more history of Middle-earth.

All my little cacti and succulents are doing so well in my home. I am not one who knows about gardening or plants, so I am pretty happy with these little guys. I leave them for weeks and they are good. They are probably the easiest plants to care for.

The photographs on the left were taken by my brother's friend with an old camera, and developed by that friend. My brother is the one in the photo, and he took these prints and framed them in shadowboxes for me some years ago. He knows I love photography and old things, so I treasure these square black & white prints. The wreath on the right was given to me by my brother and sister in law several years ago. They got it at an art & craft fair, and it's made from pages of books. Naturally, they thought of me, and I really like this little piece.

A mostly thrifted outfit. Dress and sweater - thrifted. New shoes, though I have been looking for these exact shoes for quite awhile. Necklace made by me.

My books. Oh my lovely books! Books make me so happy. Everything about them. The look. The colour. The feel of the pages. The scent of the pages and ink. The weight of them. The aesthetic. Oh yea, and the words inside, of course! My large bookshelf is a little bit messier than I like, but I am out of space!

A blank page on which I will write a letter. I am the old-fashioned kind who likes that sort of thing. Also, mustard yellow is my colour of the year. I cannot get enough of it. And this slanted afternoon light is lovely.