Cold Mornings and Warm Musings

We have almost reached the end of 2019. Can you believe it? Just a few days left to write 2019 as your present year before entering into a new decade.

The chilled winter morning summons me awake (or maybe just my alarm does). I wake up earlier these days. I am more productive in the mornings, so why should I sleep later? After giving this a considered thought, I decided to start pushing my alarm to an earlier time to see how that goes. I now have more time in the morning to eat more leisurely as I read Scripture, and then I have more time to journal after that with my cup of coffee. That is definitely worth getting up a little earlier for.

I love mornings. They are freshened with the scent of a new day. My mind is the least cluttered it will be all day. The sun rises gently when I am getting ready, and on these darker winter mornings, it takes a bit longer for our sun to gain some height in the sky. I enjoy watching the light slowly increase as I sit dipping my spoon into my oatmeal with bananas, walnuts, honey, and cinnamon.

If I get to wear a cosy sweater, the day is even better. That is  partly why these winter days are my favourite. My coffee is now brewed in the french press, the light has grown, and I pour coffee into a mug and take it into my living room to journal. 

Journaling is my everyday essential - like a cup of coffee. But it is good for my soul, not just waking me up. I get many questions about what I journal about. The answer - anything I want. Anything at all. Whatever is on my heart, swirling in my mind, raining on my day, sifting through my thoughts. That's the beauty of journaling. Expression in the forms of words on a page is my own daily soul-food. It nourishes me. I do not do so well with speaking my words. Writing them is better. Writing is where I can freely roam and let loose the confines of my heart. The words can flow outward and usually the result is that I figure something out (some answer or some option) as I write. And very frequently the words then turn into prayer.

And there I sometimes sit, mixing, stirring, dwelling, pondering within such prayers. In this contemplative time, I am drawing closer to God. Resting at His feet, feeling nourished by His love.

I Wonder as I Wander

It started with a mysterious package in the mail. An unexpected gift arriving at the perfect moment.

This vinyl was the gift, the new Christmas record by Future of Forestry, and I immediately opened my little suitcase record player and played these new songs. I didn't know my soul needed these songs so much.

There is a song on this record, by Future of Forestry, taken from the hymn written by John Jacob Niles in 1933, that has captured me so deeply. 

I wonder as I wander out under the sky,

How Jesus our Savior,  He came here to die

For lost broken people like you and like I

I wonder as I wander out under the sky

If Jesus had wanted for any small thing,

A star in the sky, or a bird on the wing,

Or all of God's angels in heaven to sing,

He surely could have it, 'cause he was the King.

This song is hauntingly beautiful. You should go listen to it immediately. 

Future of Forestry captured the essence of the mystery of God so eloquently using the words and a variety of instruments. Ebbing and flowing just as your heart needs in a season of paradoxes - dark and light, quick and slow. Emotion rises and silences, leaving you resting in your heart whilst wrapped in the warm embrace of God's love. The mystery of that love is enfolded into each crevice that has shown a crack lately. Those doubtful moments when the day seems like it will crash down directly on your head. 

Wonder.
Oh how we need to wonder as we wander.

How Jesus our Savior came here in human form as a baby, to die for us. God in flesh. A myth of the gods that is actually true. That mysterious love is a truth we need to dwell in. Sometimes the resonance of a song can do that. It creates a space for your heart to sit in wonder as the music fills the air, diving and swirling like loose violin strings playing the air. Let that wonder caress those rough spots in your heart. 

Merry Christmas, friends.

Thoughts on Re-Reading

The literary man re-reads, other men simply read.
- C.S. Lewis

When you read, do you get a sense of realness and awe?

How do you feel about re-reading books?

I love to talk about books with people, to hear what they enjoy reading, why they enjoy that genre, who their favourite authors are, etc. Many times the topic will come up about re-reading books. It has come to my attention that there exist people who do not ever want to re-read books (I've heard it declared from their own lips), which might be why those people do not ever buy books. I compare that with people like me who love to buy books so that I can re-read them and write in them, underline them, and visit them often. My books are friends that always have wisdom to offer, and I know I need that.

C.S. Lewis re-read books, and thought that one could enjoy them even more with a second reading. He would write the date in the back of a book whenever he finished reading it. Not saying that every book he read was worth a second reading (he did write "never again!" at the back of Don Juan by Byron), but he was seeking out the good books, and that is the point.

I would agree with Mr. Lewis, naturally. It's not that I want to re-read every book, but I want to pick out books that I would most likely read again, and gain new insights from a second reading, or third reading. 

Lewis reminds us "if you don’t read good books you will read bad ones. If you don’t go on thinking rationally, you will think irrationally. If you reject aesthetic satisfactions you will fall into sensual satisfactions” (“Learning in War-Time”, The Weight of Glory). 

Why do you read? What to you read?

I believe that reading should transform you. It should expand who we are. It should teach us from those who are wiser than we are. For seeing through other eyes is a gateway into another world, filled with experiences not your own. Dwell in that, and learn from it.  

Oh Come!

O Wisdom of our God Most High,
guiding creation with power and love:
come to teach us the path of knowledge!

The season of jolly music, cheerful decor, special sales, and crowds is upon us. We are entrenched in it, with Christmas just around the corner. I have been praying that in this season of Advent, my heart may dwell in the meaning. This darkness that precedes Christmas has a purpose.

We long for the things we hope to come. Advent is a time of longing. A time of "not yet", and "I hope". What does it feel like to dwell in a darkness that has not seen the light yet?

We can experience the time as reflecting on a dark time, but we can hold onto the hope of the coming Christ expectantly, especially because we know the story. We have seen God's plan. We have celebrated every year.

In order to appreciate the true coming of light, we have to experience getting through the darkness.

Darkness.
What would it be like to not know the story of Christ? To sit in darkness without the knowledge that God was about to come to earth to view the world from our perceptive? Would we still be waiting, yearning, hoping for something?

We might call out for someone to answer. We might use names that describe Christ, but do not name Him directly.

Oh come, wisdom!
Oh come, day spring!
Oh come, key of David!
Oh come, desire of nations!

The O Antiphons are the poems and phrases I love to come back to each year. They help me re-visit the pre-Christmas darkness of waiting and hoping. They call out to our Lord, who has all the answers, but remains hidden in mystery until the right moment. 

We long for what we may not know yet. Something beyond our own imagining is coming.

If we embrace our Advent season with our heels in history, we shall see ourselves in a dark place of the un-knowing. Are we willing to venture there? Or does the commercialization of Christmas distract and consume us? It is admittedly difficult to focus on the meaningful, deep, hidden things during this season. May we seek out moments to think deeply about these beautiful, once hidden, mysteries of Christ.

Travelogue - Iceland

Yes, Iceland captured my heart. It was a quick capturing. You hear it so much these days from many people. Tourism rose sharply in recent years and now the place to go is Iceland. While I am definitely not one to follow the crowd, literally or figuratively, there is a reason why Iceland has such a draw.

Cold. Icy. Wintry. Desolate. Dramatic. Stark.

You might be thinking Iceland is summed up with these words. These words may have truth to them, but it is so much more. Interestingly, Iceland has a moderate climate that isn't too frigid, thanks to the Gulf Stream that circles the island. Otherworldly beauty like you've never seen before is Iceland. Stark contrasts, black and green dramatic landscapes, volcanoes, icy blue glaciers, and black sand beaches. It is a place of mystery and wonder. Iceland is a place of danger, history, proud culture, and only 300,000 people.

I love places of mystery and wonder. 

No wonder so many stories, sagas, and tales have been created here.
No wonder Iceland makes me want to write my own stories and sagas. 

Not only is the scenery stunning and captivating, but the people are friendly and easy-going. They are happy and content with the gift of the everyday. They don't let the worry or care of a matter sink in. They are immensely proud of their Icelandic roots and stories. I love that. I want to hear those stories as I journey amongst the lava fields and mountains. And there is so much more to explore, so I will have to go back.

Packing List:

- Wool coat
- Warm hat/beanie
- Camera
- Hiking shoes/boots
- Journal (maybe write a few Icelandic words to use)

Advent Confession

I am dreadfully behind in all my ideal ideas of what I want to do in this Advent season. I want to read in my Advent prayer book each day. I want to sit and ponder the season of darkness that precedes the coming of Light in Christ. I want to be more prayerful. I want to be more aware of the very moment I am breathing in the breath of God. I want to write more. I want to encourage others more. I was to do thoughtful things for others. More. More. More.

I could go on and on, honestly. It is never ending all that I want to do, with goodness as the intention. I could beat myself up quite a bit, and be hard on myself. But stop. Be gentle. Hear these words -

He sees me through the eyes of grace.

Oh, how I need to dwell in that truth.

God is deep within us, never leaving. We are just feeling our way through life. Sometimes we are not doing everything just as we want to do it. Our mind has mountains, and we try to scale them finding ourselves sometimes sliding backwards at some points.

That's why Christ offers us hope. He knows we struggle. He knows our struggle. He has felt our struggle.

This season is a season of contrasts and paradoxes. Things that shouldn't have happened, happen, and go against what was expected. But it is all both/and. Not if/or. 

Darkness and light.
Silence and song.
Poor and rich.
Loss and gain.
Waiting and receiving.
Cold and warmth.
Feeling lost and finding the way.
Meek and strong.
Receiving and giving.

Embrace these. Listen to the contrasts. Feel them, and think about them. What do they mean in your life? What is God trying to tell you through them? Let them be what they are in your life, but pay attention to their ringing in your days.

And no matter the season, or the situation - He sees me through the eyes of grace.

Travelogue - London

When I travel, or reminiscence on my previous travels, I am filled with gratitude and deep thankfulness to be able to have experienced such places. Each place holds a special notion of its own - a secret to discover. The treasures to find whilst walking the streets, eating in the restaurants, exploring the bookshops, wandering through museums, learning about and admiring the architecture, and fueling up at coffee shops.

Sometimes I randomly start thinking about a place I love, and London is one of them. For being such a huge, expansive city, with almost two thousand years of history, it might make one feel overwhelmed by it. But in my experience, I have only felt overwhelmed in the most touristy spots, and not elsewhere. When I get out and about in the unique neighborhoods, I get a different feeling. 

When I first went to London (back in 2009 - ten years ago!), my tour was all touristy, and I do admit, it was exhausting. I saw the famous sights - Tower Bridge, Big Ben and Parliament, Buckingham Palace, Trafalgar Square, Piccadilly Circus, etc...which means I really didn't get to see the heart of London. I saw the busy, hectic, historic and beautiful, but crazy and touristy parts of the city.

Since that first visit, every subsequent visit has been less and less touristy, and more and more enjoyable. Riding the Tube has become a fun discovery of history and differences in stations, trains, and details. The different neighborhoods are what grab my heart, attention, and time. My favourite days have been spent in Chelsea, Kensington, and Marylebone. Sure these areas can get busy, as there are many shops and cafes, but it's a different kind of busy. It has more of a local feeling of busy. And I am just one of those locals. 

Packing List:

- Brolly (umbrella)
- Good walking shoes/boots
- Roomy bag to store all the books you will buy
- Camera
- CityMapper App (highly recommend!)

Grapefruits and Oranges

As winter nears, I think about the changing season and how often the foods we eat shift along with the season change. Not sure why this popped into my mind, but I have these memories of my childhood when Mum would serve us all an appetizer for dinner, which was either grapefruits or oranges, sliced in half for digging our spoons into. Living in Florida, we tend to have a lot of citrus fruit available year round. I think we take that for granted, as most northern places do not have such easy access to citrus, at least not growing outside in their neighborhoods.

I feel like so many family dinners would begin with a bowl, a spoon, and a sliced in half grapefruit or orange. But why would Mum serve us fruit as an appetizer? Kind of odd, right?

Because Dad, in all his skills as being the most thrifty man with four children (I am only now beginning to see the breadth and depth of the ways in which he was super thrifty) would collect grapefruits and oranges from yards. Dad had a lawn maintenance business, and he gathered fruit from various trees from the yards he would be mowing that day. He gathered the just fallen fruit and low hanging fruit that was in the way, so as not to take all the prime fruit. He would bring bags of fruit home and feed his family a wholesome appetizer.

All my childhood, I thought it was the most normal thing in the world for Dad to bring home grapefruit and oranges after his mowing that day. He asked permission from the owners, of course, and probably said something about his four children, and the owners let him.

For some reason, I always thought it was rather elegant to have a first course at dinner. A fruit course can be however fancy you would like it to be in your imagination, even if you are eating from Styrofoam bowls. But in my young mind, it felt elegant, as we all sat down at the round wooden kitchen table scooping our grapefruits.Sometimes we could even add some sugar on top.

There is something so memorable in that simple thing. It is another source of appreciation for Dad thinking of his family whilst mowing lawns. As he worked on yards he saw trees full of fruit, many dropped onto the perfectly cut grass, and he thought - my family could eat all this citrus fruit and the old owner certainly cannot eat all these. Let's get some vitamins into the kids.
He would collect the fruit. Mum would prepare.
Smart Dad, he was.

And once the elegance of a first course was complete, we would move onto the main course, likely some meat, veg, starch combination. Not quite as elegant, to me, as the first course.

Christmas Gift Idea

Are you shopping for Christmas gifts yet? Have you started? Are you done?

I have made a goal for myself (we will see if I am able to accomplish that goal) to be complete with all my Christmas shopping by the end of November. That way, I can enjoy all of the December activities without worrying about gifts I still need to buy and wrap.

If you are thinking about some gifts you need to get soon, here are a few helpful questions:

• Do you need a gift for someone you know who might enjoy an imaginative story?
• Do you know someone who likes books?
• Do you know someone who reads?
• Do you know someone who likes to think?

Answer!
Buy that someone my short novella  -  Selador: The Book of Time HERE ON AMAZON.

• It is the perfect book to snuggle up with a blanket on the sofa on a chilly day.
• It is the perfect book to bring with you anywhere you go, it is quite small (see photo evidence above).
• It is the perfect way to support a self-published author.

If you have read it already, leave a little review on Amazon (link above) and I would be most grateful.

Lastly, if you are on goodreads, I have an author page there and Selador: The Book of Time is on there too!

Goodreads is a online bookish community. It provides a fun way to track and review what you are reading. This is how I have tracked my reading for several years. I know how many books I read each year only because I track it here. Otherwise I would have no idea how many books I read!

I thought I would throw out an idea to help you out in your Christmas shopping. Thanks for reading!

These Brisk, Autumnal Days

A breezy chill in the subdued air -
Grey-cast sky reflects my grey sweater.
Dressed appropriately for the weather - 
I welcome the season sweeping my hair.

The cold weather has reached this sun-steeped southern land. Are you surprised at all that I am going to write about it? Any time I get to pull out my sweater and feel the urge to suddenly spend a large amount of my day outside is a day to rejoice about. That has been several days lately. 

I might have had several things on my to do list, and when I completed the errands that were on the list, I ended up at Hollis Garden as the winds were blowing the chilly air across the lake and into the garden. It wasn't too bad, though, and I took a wander around the garden. 

I spent much of my time sitting on my bench of choice, to write a few lines in my journal.

This is the kind of day I live for here. Slightly chilled all day long. A perfectly cast autumnal day. I watch the winds up at the tallest point of the palms - the wind view-able by the dancing of the long, green fronds.

Some tall corn stalks grow nearby my bench, guarded by a scarecrow and some hay stacks. People take photographs everywhere, and there are several photography sessions going on all around. The classical music plays in the background, creating a sense of elegance. Well, it is an elegant garden, painstakingly maintained and perfectly manicured. No wonder so many weddings are held here, along with photography sessions.

From my bench spot, I have a panoramic view of the garden and Lake Mirror beyond. This is a good thinking place.

This stone bench is a bit chilly, so I will finish this page and take a wander. But I do prefer to sit and enjoy the garden. The simple aspects of dirt, grass, and blooming plants can invite one to enter a state of wonder and appreciation.

That is, if you allow it to.

One can always choose to ignore the most simple beauty right in front of  them if one does not wish to stop. One must take the effort (isn't it rather strange that it really does take effort) to stop. But I can say that the effort is always worth it.

Society and Work - Thoughts from Dorothy L. Sayers

Are women human? 
This is a question Dorothy L. Sayers asks to discuss a larger question of society.

I finished a short book of essays by Dorothy L. Sayers on the role of women and work in society. It was witty and full of very interesting counter-cultural viewpoints. She argues that feminism (as it began to grow in her days) tries to mold women into a category to say that women should be treated exactly the same as men, which does more harm than good. As the world already has too many categories of people that we plug people into, it is not good or unifying.

We are much too much inclined in these days to divide people into permanent categories, forgetting that a category only exists for its special purpose and must be forgotten as soon as that purpose is served.

These short essays were talks that she gave in 1938. By way of arguing against the cultural way of thought, she sets an example that if women are good at business, let them do it and do it well. And that's how they glorify God. If a women is an excellent judge, doctor, or policewoman, let her do it well. Likewise, if a man is good with the home cooking, shop keeping, or teaching, let him do it well. 

Once lay down the rule that the job comes first and you throw that job open to every individual, man, or woman, fat or thin, tall or short, ugly or beautiful, who is able to do that job better than the rest of the world.

Her point - we are made to do our work well, whatever that may be. Find what you do well and embrace it. Do not divide the work into men's work, or women's work. Isn't it human's work? She brings up a reminder from history when women did most of the work (brewing beer, making clothes, repairing things), and then after a war, men came back and took those jobs, or they were mechanized, leaving women to do the homemaking, and being dubbed "women's work".

Then, I reach a line like this one that makes me pause to chuckle at her wit (remember, Dorothy L.Sayers wrote many detective fiction novels that are absolutely delightful):

I am occasionally desired by congenital imbeciles and the editors of magazines to say something about the writing of detective fiction "from the woman's point of view." To such demands, one can only say, "Go away and don't be silly. You might as well ask what is the female angle on an equilateral triangle."

And further, it is best not to do our work with the aim to 'better the community' per say. Sayers argues that if our focus is to better the community, we shall not do our work well. We need to aim at doing our work to the very best of our ability. By being the best at our particular work and fully focusing on it, it automatically betters the community. All the while your good, best work gives glory to God by doing your work well. The best Christian work is a doing a job well.

This is the wayside approach, which actually makes so much sense. Those who get caught up in doing good for the wider whole can lose focus on the work they actually need to do, and end up not doing that well because the focus is diverted.

I love how Dorothy L. Sayers gives me these good thoughts to shape my ways of seeing, all from the 1930's when she wrote and spoke on these topics. She saw the cultural shifts taking place in her day, and it feels prophetic.

When she argues that the rise of feminism (which of course was all the rage in the 1940's) actually does more damage than good. It tries to fold women as being the same as men. Well, we are all human, so yes, the same. So, why do we need to break ourselves into a categories and bifurcate ourselves within society? We are all the same classification as human. Doesn't this project a sense of unity?

If you wish to preserve a free democracy, you must base it - not on classes and categories, for this will land you in the totalitarian state, where no one may act or think except as the member of a category. You must base it upon the individual Tom, Dick, and Harry, and the individual Jack and Jill - in fact, upon you and me.

Dorothy L. Sayers was such an admirable writer. Bringing the intelligent focus, wit, and knowledge. I admire her individuality, as she is unafraid of voicing truth, and writing with an intelligence so well thought.

Colorado Snow Day

Now entering a beautiful winter wonderland. Welcome.

Can you imagine my excitement? A Florida girl who has not seen snow in close to seven years gets to enter a magical winter wonderland? 

With Colorado's notorious weather shifts, I went with no expectation of seeing snow. I prefer not to be disappointed, so instead I was surprised and delighted with the snowy days we encountered. Our drive into the mountains was not hindered, thankfully, but it did snow all the way up (and then slowed and stopped as we got to the top). I just watched the snow as we drove along, feeling like a child, staring at the flakes falling and the accumulated bundles hanging on tree limbs, in wonder. 

We took a historic narrow gauge train ride, from Georgetown. A short loop (about an hour) with more than 1,000 foot elevation change on the journey. We rode in the classy carriage, vintage from the 1930's. We were served snacks as the train began its accent up the mountain. The snowy banks still fresh and pristine. There is nothing quite like the freshly fallen snow. I am so thankful I got to experience it. It was freezing, I will say. About 20 degrees the whole day. I wasn't complaining, though.

The train ride felt like a transportation back in time. We were aristocrats for the short time, taking the Presidential carriage up to the next town, as they did back in the early 1900's. It was fashionable to go up in the train to have tea. I love trains anyway, and riding the historic train, with a diesel engine, felt like a special treat, and it was.We all had a great time.