Another Day in Pictures

Good Day! It's Wednesday. That means it is a good time to share another day of pictures. The weather is lovely. Chilled. The sky is clear. The air feels fresh. It's a perfect day to take a walk.....and a lunch break at Mitchell's Coffee Shop, a favorite of mine. Joy crosses my path every time I step outside. I am making a habit of being outside today...

The City

NYC March 2003

A poem compresses much in a small space and adds music, thus heightening its meaning. The city is like poetry; it compresses all life, all races and breeds, into a small island and adds music and the accompaniment of internal engines.
Here is New York, E.B. White

It's been many years since I have been to New York City. Early Spring of 2003 brought me to the city with my brother Jason and we were surprised by a day of snow. It was beautiful, and cold. I had not experienced city life in the snow before. The next day we drove out of the city to a church in the country, where Jason had to film an interview.

I have been craving another visit to the city. E.B. White's description of New York is exactly right. Life is compressed within the city, and yet somehow open and diverse. It's a harmonious mixture of life and even in the freezing cold as we walked the streets by the MET and the NYC Public Library. Central Park was blanketed in white and cold air hit my legs through my thin pants as we explored. I haven't seen snow since this trip, and I think it is due time for it.

Muddy Monday

Solitary sighs rise

Involuntarily

It is Monday

Truth be told

I don't quite mind the day

It's coming back from holiday

After a lovely time off of work, it is always a little difficult to go back to the usual office atmosphere. When I grow accustomed to sleeping in a little bit, making coffee, and stepping outside to sit and read or write in my journal as the boys work on the cars. When the family is able to enjoy time together in meals and games. I have to leave all that and go back into the cube life of the office.

So today, I am reminded from some words of Tara Leigh Cobble in her new book Orange Jumpsuit:

I had the hope, but I was choosing fear instead. After all, I get to choose what I think about- I can either think about how trustworthy He is or how things feel like they're falling apart. Instead of taking my thoughts captive, it seemed they were taking me captive.

These words are what I need today to remind me to trust in God's plans and directions. To know that even if His plans do not coalesce with my own ideas, if I follow the path God is leading me on, a beautiful harmony of life circumstances will ensue.  

The Lost Art of Reading Out Loud

There is something we are missing these days. That is, reading passages out loud. Whatever it may be: poems, stories, a chapter, a few lines from a favorite book, or song lyrics.

I remember in elementary, middle, and high school we would take turns reading passages out loud in English class. Everyone had a turn. Some students read slow, some faster, some with vigor, some were insipid. But I loved hearing the book come alive through each voice.

There is something about hearing words read. It fills the space around you and sinks into your soul. The words read by someone can infuse a phrase or scene in your mind. The words meld together as they are read, and with your imagination you create your version of the scene. It can set the tone and mood of the piece. When someone else reads, it might change the feeling completely and awaken something in the writing to you.

Yet he did not feel in the least as if he were dreaming; rather the other way; as waking was more actual than dreaming, so this seemed by another degree more actual than waking itself. -G.K. Chesterton

The Mysterious

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this 'emotion' is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder, or stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead. His eyes are closed.
-Albert Einstein

We leave very little to our imaginations any more. We don't allow much room for the mysterious. And yet God is wrapped in mystery, and there is so much beauty and awe because of that. Did you ever wonder why God likes to stay in mystery?

The mysteries of God are no trifles. They are full and wondrous and encircle our lives, in everything we see and don't see. It can be as small as a word spoken to you by a friend that sinks into your soul. We can stand in awe looking out at the view from the top of a mountain, or from the valley below, like we did in Yosemite National Park. Half Dome (in picture above) is certainly mysterious.

We can stand in His silence and listen to the whispers...

Through experiences we can see God work in situations we never even dreamed of or ever thought possible. Where the only explanation is no explanation except that it must be the work of a divine being.

And there inlays a mystery that opens our eyes and heart to God.

Thankful Hearts Growing...

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. - Colossians 3.15

Let us remember to take a little time to stop and thank God for everything in our lives. We can also thank Him continuously throughout the day. We have so much to be thankful for. Did you wake up this morning? There's a good start. Did you eat some breakfast and enjoy a cup of coffee? A lot of people don't have that luxury. Did your car start? (well, on Monday it didn't) You are blessed to own a car at all.

And then there are the obvious things that we know we are thankful for, but don't quite express it enough. Like a supportive and loving family, close friends who know your dark & light and who you can share anything with, a comfortable place to live, a job, gifts and talents, this day, the faith we hold in Christ, the air we breathe, and remembering those loved ones who are no longer here with us. I am thankful for the 25 years I had with my Dad.

From a thankful heart sprouts a thriving tree bearing fruits of the spirit.

Happy Thanksgiving to you!

Dark Night

Who among you fears the Lord

and obeys the voice of his servant,

who walks in darkness and has no light,

yet trusts in the name of the Lord

and relies upon his God?

-Isaiah 50.10

We have much to be thankful for, even if we are wandering in a strange land full of change and uncertainty. I need to use this week of Thanksgiving (and beyond) to recognize and muse upon the place I am in right now. The other night I was reading one (of my several) books purchased in Oxford, Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster (a very thought-provoking and challenging book that hits points of being a disciple that we tend to ignore) and this passage jumped out at me and I felt it was something I needed to reflect on. I read it a few times and wrote it out in my journal:

Recognise the dark night for what it is. Be grateful that God is lovingly drawing you away from every distraction so that you can see him clearly. Rather than chafing and fighting, become still and wait.

It is so obvious when you think about it, but we don't see things that way. Did you ever think about why you might be being lead away from something, or why a certain tug on your heart won't go away? Could it be that something was distracting us? And we are so bad at practicing the part of being still and waiting. Why do we find that so hard when the plans God has in store are so much better than our own?

Imagination

The poetry of the Bible is beautiful and powerful. It has been written with imagination, and it needs to be read with imagination. - Knut Heim

I recently read an article that was very thought-provoking on this topic. The author re-invented the hypothesis that Saint Anselm did, in the eleventh century. That is: what if we could use our imaginations to prove the existence of God? Here is the breakdown: Saint Anselm began with one fact: that we can use our imaginations to think of God, who is unimaginable.

Next, Anselm claimed that God is beyond anything we could ever imagine.

Lastly, he stated that it is greater to exist than to only be imagined.

So, we can say that God exists in our imaginations and then we can recall the statement that it is greater for God to exist in reality. Remembering the first fact that God is greater than anything we can ever imagine.

Conclusion: God must exist in reality because if He only existed in our imagination then we could think about something that is greater than God. And by definition here, God has to be greater than anything we can imagine. So God exists.

There are holes in this approach, of course, but it is an interesting theological experiment. None of us can prove the existence of God. It requires our deepest faith.
The heart has its reasons which reason cannot comprehend. It is the heart which knows God, not the reason. -Blaise Pascal

Behold the Sky

The bird saw its cage open- beheld the sky- remembered its own remote isle & grove & nest- heard in spirit a voice call it to come- felt its pinion nerved with impatient energy- launched into air & was gone.

-Charlotte Brontë

My creative thoughts are forced to be checked all day as I am in the office. Finally at the end of the day, as I am free from the cube life (both literally and figuratively), my stream of thoughts can fly freely. Sometimes they are still scattered and abrupt, bouncing off each other in excitement for being set free. Sadly, sometimes errands or household things get in the way, and I suppress them. But I will push those things aside if I can get my journal and pen in my hands fast enough.

For to write, to muse about how God is working in my life, to reflect on my day and record stories, to ponder life and be creative with words, is one of my greatest joys and passions in life. And that is far more important than mopping the floor (well, the floor will have to mopped eventually, but it can wait).

Priority. We all set our own priorities in our everyday, even if we don't realize it. I have learned over the years that there are much more important things in life than what the world tries to ingrain in us, like spending time with family and close friends, following your passions and using your gifts for good. We can let the world dictate what is our priority, or we can choose to set our own. I find that when I let the world choose for me, stress abounds. Yet when I follow my passions and use the gifts God gave me, I am relaxed and easy-going. Still focused and passionate, but not pressured and stressed. Goodness and opportunities come to me. Stress takes away from my creativity, so I kick it out.

Free then, I let the words jump from mind to pen to pages.

Expectation

We are always harking back to some occasion which seemed to us to reach perfection, setting that up as a norm, and depreciating all other occasions by comparison. But these other occasions, I now suspect, are often full of their own blessing, if only we would lay ourselves open to it. God shows us a new facet of the glory, and we refuse to look at it because we're still looking for the old one.

Letters to Malcolm, C.S. Lewis

As you read through this, does it feel like Lewis is writing a letter to you? You aren't alone. It is so true, and as I read it, I recognize how often I do that without a second thought. We place our expectations in this world unreasonably high, setting ourselves up for disappointment. We forget that we are living in a fallen world full of imperfect people who tend to forget about you, fail to keep promises, and unintentionally hurt others. We expect that if something previously turned out perfectly, every other occasion is going to follow suit. In holding all those expectations, we neglect to notice the blessing that is right in front of our eyes.

We all know better than to believe that everything is going to go our way. Yet we still do. Somewhere along the way we adopted an entitlement facade, believing that we deserve this or that. Then our expectations sit on that high shelf that is hard to reach. 

When I catch myself setting expectations or telling myself that I deserve "something", I hear Shakespeare's wise words in my head, "Expectation is the root of all heartache". And instead of holding expectations for people, I shift my expectation to the One that I can trust no matter the circumstance. As Paul writes in Philippians 1.20:

...as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death.

Ending Is....

I watched the final installment of the Harry Potter films last night. The seven-book series is a battle between good vs evil through the life of Harry Potter. Though many consider the length of the series to be too long, many wished it would not end. Howsumdiver (whatever the case may be), the last movie is a reminder that an ending is merely the beginning of something else.

At the end of it all, love triumphs. The theme of love is central and profound, especially at the end of the series. Harry's Mum's love is the trigger that causes Voldemort's ultimate death. Even though she was killed when Harry was a baby. But Voldemort does not understand this kind of love. It is totally foreign to him. The message comes through that love never ends and love never fails when it is truly selfless and self-sacrificing.

I can't help but see the Christian story of Jesus and the self-sacrifice there. And then I am left with the questions- do we really know love? Do we act in a manner that produces patience, kindness, gentleness, self-control, and that stays clear from jealousy, boasting, arrogance, and rudeness? Do we follow 1 Corinthians 13?

True love never ends. Even if an ending occurs.

One Moment

One moment to the next

Is pregnant with uncertainties

Spanning the large chasm

That takes you there

Though it is only a second

Millions of quantitative calculations

Burst in your mind

To try and find

The best decision

Which will take place

At least ten times

As you read these lines...

My Day in Pictures

I thought it would be kind of fun to go through my day using pictures. These are all things I see during my usual workday- from home to work and back again. I like taking pictures and finding interesting things to shoot, but a novice I surely am. Some day I would like to learn the intricacies of real photography. It is another way to explore some of my creativity that I don't get to venture into with my work. So take a peak at my day in pictures.

Either / Or

What is it we fear in this day itself

What do we welcome when we need help

Either live the day, or let it pass

Reflect in thought, or break the glass

Step close to Him, or push away

Keep to the narrow, or become a stray

True character builds up, or you can tear down

Look up with a smile, or watch the ground

Take a step of faith, or keep your seat

Find joy or annoyance with people you meet

Choose gifts of love, or resist the offer

Follow God of creation, or the evil scoffer 

Duels

He had said the worst thing that could be said; and it seemed accepted and ignored like the ordinary second best of the politicians. Everyday his blasphemies looked more glaring, and everyday the dust lay thicker upon them, it made him feel as if he were moving in a work of idiots. -G.K. Chesterton

This is my second reading of G.K. Chesterton's The Ball and the Cross. It is a story about a duel between an atheist and a Christian, who encounter each other in London, just outside St. Paul's Cathedral. (The ball and the cross at the top of St. Paul's is where the title comes from) The Christian, MacIan, is enraged by a newspaper article written by the atheist, Turnbull, so he breaks his shop's window and challenges him to a duel. The men purchase antique swords from a shop and begin to fight. They are convinced they must fight to the death for what they believe. Their dueling is interrupted, though, and they are sent running through the London streets, away from the police. They debate with each other as they go, escaping into the country. Their swords clash in the grassy hills , but again they are interrupted by someone who is so lackluster, they work together to be rid of him. 

The two duelists soon realize that they have more in common than they ever thought. As they run through the English countryside and encounter more strange people, they realize their enemy is not each other, but the world that has grown cold and has no place for both of them, who are so passionate in their beliefs that they are willing to fight for it. 

Reading Chesterton is like a theological and philosophical feast with lines that are simultaneously humorous and serious, and that go deeper if you let them. His subtle, and blunt methods of hiding some thought-provoking debates within the scenarios of his characters is intriguing. My second reading is so enjoyable.

To me this whole strange world is homely, because in the heart of it there is a home; to me this cruel world is kindly, because higher than the heavens there is something more human than humanity. If a man must not fight for this, may he fight for anything? -G.K. Chesterton

Dying of the Light

Catapult Magazine
The Dying of the Light

I wrote a new article called
"Hope of Autumn".


Check out my article, and others, here.

Flaming Darts

Deas Vail

Read: Ephesians 6.10-20

Paul writes about how we do not wrestle against the physical, but the battle is supernatural. The devil throws his schemes in our paths all the time. Paul calls them flaming darts, which makes me think of a mischievous boy hiding in a tree, shooting darts at the people passing by. In a way, the devil does that. Hiding away in situations leaving subtle (or not-so-subtle) temptations that can be disguised so well as something good. He prowls around looking for ways to tear us down and make us falter.

So Paul calls us to put on our full armor of God so that we can continue to stand firm in our faith no matter where we are or who we might be spending time with.

I went to a Deas Vail concert a few weeks ago, a Christian group, and didn't even think about the bands that would be opening for them. These four groups who opened were not Christian bands. Each group expressed their elation about opening for Deas Vail, but I wondered if they even knew their music and what they sang about. I wondered this as a young lead singer danced around in a shirt that bared all her stomach, and I wondered this as the next guy cussed every time he spoke between his songs.

It occurred to me about that time how Deas Vail must constantly keep their armor up, being on the road like they are, hanging out backstage and after the show with these bands. The influence could cause a wavering faith to be skewed, but their good influence could rub off on others.

Before I even fully formed my makeshift thoughts into takeaway wisdom, Jordan said the exact same thing to me as we sat at the tall tables outside Mitchell's Coffee Shop eating sandwiches. He said it makes sense to have secular bands open for a Christian band because there is the perfect opportunity to minister. The crowd, who may be there for other reasons, will hear about the Christian faith without going into a church, and some seed might be planted. Jordan successfully tied all my floating thoughts together within a minute.

It was obvious that Deas Vail has their whole armor of God on. I was standing on the sidewalk outside the venue just before Deas Vail was to go on stage, and I spotted the whole band just fifty feet away, huddled close, praying together. Samantha nudged me, "Is that the band?"
"Yea, that is definitely the band." I replied.

Deas Vail - "Common Sense"- click here to watch a cool live version

November in my Soul...

Do you ever have an unexplained darkness sweep over you?
It is described in Moby-Dick, by the narrator, Ishmael, "whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul..."
Oh yes. We all have times when our souls are in such a state.  I fight it sometimes because various pieces of my life are joyful, free, and independent, while other parts feel so caged, suppressed, and thwarted. Occasionally these conflicting pieces crash together and create a damp, drizzly atmosphere in my soul.

But I don't want to be a creature of circumstance, wavering to and fro, like the weather patterns. I want my joy to shine brilliantly in each moment. I wish for my soul to sing for the Lord all day, and make people wonder why I am glowing. This is what my favorite passage in the Bible talks about in Matthew 5.14-16:

You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put in under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

Let's be the light of the world that Jesus tells us to be. When I focus on being a light for God instead of being fixated on my own struggles, it's amazing how the drizzle comes to a stop and the refreshing air swoops in to clear my soul of such darkness. Because really, it's not about me anyway.

Bliss

The Fall breezes are shifting

my thoughts

With a change in the air and

in these jots

Derelict are the days of

summer

And with hopes they will

stay away

I don't wish it to be 

longer

A contradiction to people

everyday

Call me strange but

know this

Fall and Winter, to me,

are bliss 

God's Time

I have been learning a lot lately about being patient for things.  To act too hastily circumvents the path that is being prepared for me. The other side of that, though, is learning not to be complacent; sitting still in one's own waiting. In this life, there will never be a perfect time to take that chance, initialize your dream into becoming a reality, or make that change. God's timing is perfect, but because we don't always follow God's lead, His opportunities don't always align with the exact moments that we decide. Seize the opportunity; there is probably a reason it was brought to you. If not, it will be made known. I am learning this week after week.
Let God direct your steps with help through godly family and friends who encourage and advise you. I don't understand God's timing but I trust in it, knowing He will bring to fruition that which is best for my life.

Road

Oh, I softly listen

to these flutterings of thoughts

That incipient their way in

and remind me what I ought

to do in moments of trepidation

Where, at a crossroads I stand

And each option is filled with fog

As I reach for a kind hand

to provide the encouragement

of the single step toward

The road of change, all good,

which God prepares me for

Wear Her Heart with Wishes

...she might wear her heart with wishes...

-Charlotte Brontë

An interesting line I read today in Caroline Vernon, a short story by Charlotte Brontë. I think about my own heart and how I certainly wear my heart with wishes about various things. Those things that seem so far off or unreachable, but then I remind myself (or am reminded by my family/friends) that with God, anything is possible. Scrupulous are His plans. That is where my hope sits. At the foot of God and His promises. The joy I experience comes about from the grace given to me, even while I try to navigate through the fog of uncertainty.

God in my Cube

I see, in the workplace, the opportunities to show love. It is such a struggle for me to choose love (which says a lot about the environment there), but when I do, I know it's because I let God use me. The mileau of the office is stressful, tense, and time is against everything we do. We are overworked and under appreciated. Our energy toward our work is depleted and no encouragement is sent our way. If I take a minute to sit at my desk and think outside the cube, none of the work I do really matters in the grand universe. Our manager makes it seem like this work is life, and all the micro-managing is critical. But it is not life, and it is not that critical.
What's critical, to me, is following God's Word in the Bible and showing love as we are called to do, no matter where we are. For Galatians 5.13 says-

For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.

This is why I need to be in the Bible everyday. My daily life is surrounded by alternate teaching that tries to trap me into thinking that work is more important than my life. Or spending time with family and friends. Or taking vacation. My life has been changed by loss over these last two years. Life is too short to not utilize every moment to bring people closer to love.
So, how can I bring this verse into the workplace? How can I live this verse better than I have, so that God is apparent in the cube with me? It is a challenge indeed.

Light Shining Out of Darkness

God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;
He plants his footsteps in the sea,
And rides upon the storm

Deep in unfathomable mines
Of never-failing skill,
He treasures up his bright designs,
And works his sovereign will.

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take,
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy, and shall break
In blessings on your head.

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust him for his grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.

His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding every hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flower.

Blind unbelief is sure to err,
And scan his work in vain:
God is his own interpreter,
And he will make it plain.

-William Cowper

God's timing is absolutely perfect. Just when I am going through a down time when I feel like I am falling off the radar...lost in the woods...seemingly alone...God steps in and I am filled.
It is bound to happen every now and then. There comes a time when I ask- is there anybody out there? Well, deep in my heart I know God is out there and He provides encouragement through seemingly random episodes, that really are a catalyst for something good.
This poem reminds me of that.