Fall Down, It's OK

Ruins of Cathedral and Priory, St. Andrews, Scotland

In church one morning, a story the pastor told stuck in my mind for reflection later on. It was about grace, and how Jesus falls down with the fallen.

At a dinner party the writer William Faulkner was at, a gentleman pulled a chair out for a lady, but she was busy talking to someone else nearby, and as she went to sit down, she ended up on the floor. Mr. Faulkner immediately joined her on the floor so she wouldn't feel alone and embarrassed.

That's what Jesus did for us. He became lower than a servant for us. He demonstrated to us how to fall down with the fallen so we wouldn't feel alone. How many people would do something like that?

What happens when we mess up? What if we fail in a huge way? Does it really matter?

No.

A failure doesn't make you any less worthy of God's love. We can't earn His love, or lose it. A failure doesn't mean we should give up, either. In fact, it means the opposite.

It means we should try harder and have confidence that God wants us to succeed. All it takes is that next time you try. That's when you stand.

It is always simple to fall; there are an infinity of angles at which one falls, only one at which one stands. - G.K. Chesterton

Friend

A suitable match

To a perfect day

Like a cup of tea

and a scone on a tray

Is an amiable pair

With a glow for more

Amidst trials and talks

There is hunger, not a bore

They take comfort in silence

Knowing full well

If they mean what they say

Truly their hearts will tell

A genuine trust is

difficult to find

But when you do, it's

well worth your time.

A Different Time

Buckingham Palace, London

 

Time's an eye that remakes

the world just by looking.

-Daniel Tobin

Sometimes I wish I lived in a different time. Preferably the 19th Century or early 20th century. This modern age we live in is changing dramatically all the time, and technology, while is good in many ways, is also taking over people’s lives. Technology comes before family time. We are attached to our iPads and mobile phones. We can’t bear to be disconnected from the Internet for any extended period of time.

Do you remember when there was no GPS? You actually had to use a paper map to navigate. Do you remember when there were no mobile phones and you had to find a pay phone? And now, do you remember when you held a real book in your hands? Let me remind you what it feels like, in case you forgot. It’s a somewhat heavy, rectangular object full of paper held together with a binding. If it is one of my books, it probably has underlined sentences and notes in ink. If you flip through the pages, the scent of paper fills the space. It’s not an invisible file you download on your Smart Phone.

Another reason I wish I lived in a different time is for the manners, dress, and conduct. The way people dressed was respectable, quite unlike what I see teenagers wearing today. People had a certain sense of respect toward one another and the general conduct was that men acted gentlemanly toward women. I am talking simple things. Like opening doors and letting women pass in front. Giving up a seat for a woman. Speak in a respectful tone and not make derogatory remarks. I find that it is so rare, in this day, to find a man who does these things. When I do, I am astonished, but I shouldn’t be. What happened over the years?

I think all the frenzy around the Royal Wedding got me thinking about this again.....

Excuses

Sterling, Scotland

Excuses.

I think it is the weakest part of us that makes excuses. It's the part of us that doesn't want things to change, or go our way; locking us in complacency. I used to make excuses all the time. I found that I was missing out on living life because I was afraid of getting out there. A combination of college experiences, friends, post-college travel, and reading changed my outlook. Now I jump at the chance to do something adventurous. I have realized how much in this world I want to see and do, and how I want to get out there now to do it. What excuses do you have?

When you choose anything, you reject everything else. - G.K. Chesterton

Fear

Fitful praying and shadowy

anxiety surround me

Unsuitably.

Wafting through the sounds

that echo amidst the night,

It grows as the darkness deepens.

Lurking closely

Trying to capture me

in the grips of fear

of the unknown,

Yet my fear is of something

far greater than all.

The fear of the Lord and the

Power He has

Over anything that could

ever haunt you.

Fear wants to stop our stories. -Anne Jackson

Childhood

Remembering when days were long

Today they seem so short

Amidst the climbing trees, riding bikes

And our private basketball court

Energy with no end

As children often fare

A running freedom, still contained

Danger or worry seemed so rare

A childhood so merry

We barely had to carry

Any burdens of our own

A loving guidance in the way

As I look back to yesterday

And give thanksgiving and praise

That I was raised in that way

Pencils

I haven’t used a pencil in years. At work, someone gave me two Easter pencils, so I sharpened them just to give them a test run. It brings me back to high school days when I used a pencil in every class. A pen was such a permanent thing, and when you are in calculus class or English class, you make quite a few mistakes, so a pencil makes sense. Anytime I used a pen, which was rare, it felt strange, like I was making finalized thoughts that couldn’t be altered. And any mistakes had to be crossed out, which drew attention to the mistake. It couldn’t be corrected with the swipe of an eraser. I remember there used to be pens that had erasers, but I just couldn’t get used to that. It felt so contradictory.

Then, in college, a pen became my choice writing instrument, and all my spiral notebooks became full of my permanent scratches, numbers, and notes. Whenever I had to use a pencil it felt strange like I had been transported back to high school.

Isn’t it funny how times change, and with that, your writing instruments?
What is your choice? Pen or pencil? Most people probably don’t care, and I bet most people don’t even write much by hand anymore. With computers and smart phones at our disposal everyday, the art of writing anything by hand is becoming a rarity.

I like pens, especially the pens with a fine tip for smooth and thin lettering. If the tip is too thick I feel that my handwriting is messy and less uniform. I love writing by hand. Typing is definitely faster, but nothing compares with a handwritten letter or journals full of your thoughts and stories. Sure, our computers create great ways for us to share stories and writing, but it will never replace writing by hand for me.

Easter Morning

I woke up this morning with the hymn in my head, "Christ the Lord is Risen Today" and humming it to myself I mused at the significance that this day brings to us Christians. This is a day the devil never saw coming. He thought he had won the battle- Jesus was killed. All hope was gone. The devil probably imagined scooping up new followers who had lost all hope and had nowhere to turn.

The devil's hopes were crushed on this day! What a joyous occasion to smile and celebrate, and to remember what it means for you and me.

He is not here; he has been raised, just as he said. -Matthew 28.6

Snow Dream

Faintly, at first it falls

Barely apparent against the sky

Glittering into my view, slowly

And I don't even question why

The snow floats peaceful

So soft and graceful

I lift my eyes up to the place

So the speckle on my face

Is surmised as real

The cold landings I feel

As my feet shuffle in sand

Snowflakes fall into my hand

And my companions disbelieve

Until I bring them out to see

Then they all stretch out to reach

The falling snowflakes at the beach

Tynemouth Beach, England

Good Friday

St. Paul's Cathedral, London

The cross isn't something that is easy to think about. It brings about some uncomfortable feelings and a situation that puts you outside your comfort zone. And that's intentional. The story and events are meant to grip you and make you think about it. It's meant to sink down into the depths of your soul where you can't ignore it and you have to make a choice- to decide what it means to you.

It's the freedom in this love that is hard for us to believe. We are skeptics, all of us. But what we have to remember is that Jesus isn't just another human. Humans are full of sin, faults, and love that fades. But that is not the love that Jesus offers. It's a love not of this world, so it will last through this world and beyond. He's asking us to trust in this love, believe in it, and have faith that it is stronger than anything we will ever know here.

Is it a risk? Of course. Is it worth it? What do we have to lose? As C.S. Lewis said- if we believe in Him and it turns out to be nothing, then we didn't really lose anything, but if we don't believe and it all turns out to be true, well, then we're in trouble.

God has poured out His love into our hearts. -Romans 5.5

Maundy Thursday

My mind pressing in

through the earth's

dark motion toward

bloom, I thought of you,

glad there is no esape.

It is this we will be

turning and re-

turning to.

-Wendell Berry

Dust to dust. It's at this time in the story when Jesus is in the Upper Room with the Disciples that He tells them again what is about to happen. They still don't really grasp what He is saying. Some last minute lessons take place when Jesus demonstrates the love He wants the Disciples to spread, by getting on his knees and washing their feet.

Jesus shows us, by example, to not race up to the front, but to be last. He shows us to love neighbors and strangers. He shows us how to serve others, and lay down His life for friends.

He shows us these things so that we have someone to look to as guidance for our own actions. We have a perfect example of what to do and how to treat others. Yes, we have more modern people that we look up to for their virtuous behavior- Mother Theresa and Billy Graham, but they are still sinners, so the only perfect example of how a person should act is Jesus.

On this day, when Jesus shared bread and wine with an intimate group, He told them to think of these food items as His flesh and blood. Since we are spiritual and worldly, Jesus offers some earthly reminders in bread and wine to help us connect to the deeper meaning behind the objects. The items give us a physical representation of a spiritual purpose. But you have to take a moment to look beyond going through the motions and seeing things superficially. Look deeper....with new eyes.....

Downtown Lunch

Every Wednesday, some co-workers and I go out to lunch somewhere. It’s our mid-week I-have-to-get-out-of-the-office time. Many other days, I don’t take a lunch out, so it’s much needed. So today at noon three other co-workers and I went to a restaurant around the corner. As we came to the front of our building we noticed a "For Lease" sign being put up. We commented to the guy on the ladder, and he said the first floor company had moved. We laughed, thinking our second floor space might have been rented out to another group and we would be kicked out. But it seemed that our space was safe. At the restaurant, the line was out the door, so we picked option #2, down the street. The line was just as long. So, we opted for another spot even further down the street.

We had to cross the railroad tracks and as we neared them, the signal started going off and the gate came down. We hurried across the tracks just before the train sitting in the station started moving. We were hungry.

At restaurant option #3 the line wasn’t bad, so we placed our order and got our table and waited for our food. We got into conversation, dreaming up ideas of what should move into the first floor of our building. A bookstore coffeehouse sounded like perfection to me. We soon noticed the food hadn’t come yet. So, we waited and waited. I think someone lost our order. We ended up having to eat part of our lunches and take the rest back in takeout containers because we had run out of time.
Ahhhh, lunchtime in downtown....

Get me outa here for lunch!

Holy Week Musings

How are you doing this Holy week? Me? You’d think that I’d forgotten the significance of this week…
I have been irritable at work. Everything seems to annoy me. I ate too much chocolate yesterday. It’s my fault. I made chocolate mint sandwich cookies and they are irresistible. I didn’t get enough sleep last night. That’s my fault, too. I was up late making hotel reservations in Oxford. And I have been spending far too little time actually pondering the significance of this Holy week. The time gets away from me so easily. Do you find that happening to you too?

Good. Then I may not be alone. However, I am completely to blame. Every choice I make is a choice to reject everything else that I could do. It may seem like a little thing, but the little thing can turn into hours. I think myself pretty good at time management, but sometimes I need to rearrange some priorities.

About two months ago I cancelled my cable. I found that I just didn’t watch that much TV, but when I did turn on the TV, 95% of the time nothing decent was on, but I would somehow spend time flipping through channels. Why? In hopes of finding something interesting? I rarely ever did. Now, my TV is used only for news in the morning (when the reception is good) and an occasional DVD. I have a few favorite TV shows that I watch online. I can catch The Amazing Race or Masterpiece Theatre the day after it airs.

What I noticed as soon as I cancelled my cable was that anytime I was tempted to just sit on my sofa and flip around the TV channels, I couldn’t, so I would pick up my book instead. Or venture over to my piano to practice a new song. Or go for a run. This has turned out to be a very good thing. I save a little money and spend almost no time watching TV, and best of all, I don’t miss it.

So, what takes up some of your precious time that isn’t really needed? How can you let in some more reflective time in your life? I am going to close my laptop more this week and let it sit for awhile as I ponder......

Wonders

Soul spread

Beauty is in the head

Don't allow other thoughts

To stain your mind

Think large

Remember God is in charge

Be thankful for all the things

He helps you find

Glowing nights

Look up and see the lights

Dusk and dawn; to which planets are drawn

Which can you define?

Palm Sunday

The celebratory entrance of Jesus was played out in church by the children waving palm branches as Jesus walked in with them. The procession is triumphant and joyful, with the children singing, bubbling with innocent energy in worship. While the celebration of Palm Sunday is happy, it does begin this Holy week, which is full of stories that are meant to grip us with emotion.

The message of today was the cross. It's such an emotional, personal thing- to decide what the cross means to you. It is something that requires reflection within yourself and meditation on what Jesus did, willingly, for you. When you step closer to the cross and think about Jesus' feelings, emotions, pain, and suffering, it becomes a personal matter. It is hard to even grasp that Jesus could love you that much- and to die painfully on the cross for that reason.

So sing praises today of Jesus' entry into Jerusalem, and prepare your heart for Holy week, and all that is to come.

Oxford Dreaming

Christchurch College, Oxford

The Radcliffe Camera and the dreaming spires of Oxford.

The Eagle and Child Pub

Punting near Christchurch College

I am daydreaming of Oxford because I will be taking a train from Paddington Station in London to Oxford a month and a half from now. I think about the first time I was there. Walking through the streets of Oxford was exhilarating for me. I felt like a kid in a toy store. Giddy with excitement. I knew that I was walking in the footsteps of C.S. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkien, and Lewis Carroll. Three of my favorite authors. Every street was full of history and fascinating architecture.

I couldn't believe I was actually eating lunch at The Eagle and Child Pub, famous for being the regular meeting spot of Lewis, Tolkien, and their friends to have a pint of beer and talk about their writings. I was surrounded by dark wood, old furniture, and the air of the Inklings.

How delighted was I to experience the grandeur feeling of being in the Christ Church College dining hall, most recently well-known because the Harry Potter dining hall scenes were filmed here. I gazed at the painting of Lewis Carroll on the wall of the dining hall and imagined him walking around the green fields around this college, and the river nearby, dreaming up characters of Alice in Wonderland.

Those who are not quite as bookish as me do not completely understand my excitement, but Jason was very patient with me as I spent as much time as possible in Magdalen College, where C.S. Lewis lived and taught for many years in the 1940s-50s. We wandered the halls, the open spaces, the cloister, the chapel. I even got some cream tea and sat by the river, where rows of punting boats were laced together with rope.

Later, we wandered through several other colleges before ending up at the Radcliffe Camera (the word camera is Latin for room), which is a round classical building that houses reading rooms. Just beyond this building is the Bodleian Library, which is the 2nd largest in the UK behind the British Library in London. Since I didn't get to explore the library, it is high on my priority list for this next visit.

There is so much to appreciate in Oxford, even if you aren't a huge bookworm like I am. The buildings, the history, the people, the culture. But I feel like this place was made for me....bookworm that I am.....

Run But You Can't Hide

April 15- Tax Day (extended to April 18)

Notorious for being a day that everyone dreads, today is tax day! Of course, none of you wait until the last minute, but those who did are probably quite stressed.
It’s funny because most people think of the IRS as a cold-hearted department ready to take our money, but someone has to do it. It’s like being in an Accounts Receivable Department, reaching out to people to pay their bills. There is a sense of mystery surrounding the IRS and I think that’s why, at some point years ago I thought it would be kind of cool to work for them, or the Treasury Department.

I have a Bachelor’s degree in Accounting, so while I do not work in accounting I am still drawn to the world of accounting because I spent 4 years rigorously studying the textbooks, sitting on my bed in my dorm room with notebooks and calculator within reach. Each accounting book weighed about half a ton. My tax book, especially, was like carrying an anvil. And worst of all, the IRS rules and regulations changed so often, you couldn’t buy a used textbook. It had to be a new one. Gotta love the days of buying textbooks.

This day evokes memories of my tax class, where I tried to solve the problems and fill out tax forms for corporations and strange individual situations. I rarely got those problems correct. There are so many rules and exceptions to the rules. Just not my forte. Yet I am thankful for learning how all that works. Don’t ask me about your taxes, though, because I only know enough to be dangerous. HaHa.

This is why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God's servants, who give their full time to governing. Give everyone what you owe him. If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor. -Romans 13. 6-7

London Dreaming

From the top of St. Paul's Cathedral, London. Yes, I climbed all the 524+ steps!

Trafalgar Square looking at St. Martin-in-the-Fields Church

I just bought a plane ticket to London, so how can I not daydream just a little bit? (I will also travel to Oxford, but I will daydream about that tomorrow)

How can I not daydream about seeing the dome of St. Paul's, magnificiant, even when you can only catch a glimpse from the train. You can't help but feel a sense of pride for England knowing that the dome survived the WWII blitz because citizens climbed the dome with water hoses so it didn't burn.

How can I not think about people-watching in Trafalgar Square? This wide open space with fountains and more monuments than you can count is a great spot to take pictures and watch tourists climb the famous lions that sit at the bottom of the column of Lord Nelson. Big Ben can be seen from this spot, too.

How can I forget my visits to the British Museum or the National Gallery? Both free, and well worth your time. Or walking across the River Thames on the Millenium Bridge? Or riding a tour boat underneath?

I didn't even mention getting to see the Scottish National Orchestra play at Royal Albert Hall.

Or going to St. Helen's Bishopsgate Church in the heart of the financial district. A 13th century church dwarfed by the skyscrapers that surround it.

Even the train stations are interesting themselves. Here are more chances to do some people-watching. Go to Paddington Station so you can catch the train to Oxford.....

Vantage Point

The Christian View

The way up is down
The way to happiness is not to seek your own happiness but the happiness of others
The way to exultation is humility
The way to honor is not to seek your own, but to honor God
The way to heal is to be willing to be broken
The way to greatness is to serve
The way to riches is to give away
The way to find your life is to lose your life

John 5. 16-29

(Lent Devotional, City Church San Francisco)

Here's To Hindsight

Here's to hindsight. I borrow the phrase from one of my favorite books, written by a Christian music singer/songwriter, Tara Leigh Cobble. Reading her book is like reading my own journal. The thoughts, struggles, and dreams sound so similar to my own.

I was just thinking this morning how I graduated from college 5 years ago this month. If I had known 5 years ago what I know today, I probably would have made some different, more daring choices back then. However, there would have been people I might not have met. I believe God places certain people in our lives for a reason: to help make us realize our potential and our passions. To challenge us with different ways of thinking or new adventures you never would have gone on before. To learn about things you knew nothing about. And these people become blessings to your life.

I am glad my last 5 years or so have played out just as they have. I am so deeply thankful for those people who have come into my life during this time and those who I have grown closer to. These past 5 years have been the toughest in my life, but also full of joy, so it makes me all the more grateful for those people who care for me and hold a particular piece of my heart. Thank you for being in my life.

I love this passage from Paul's letter to Philemon. This is what I would want to write to these people in my life. After the opening greetings, Paul writes:
Brother Philemon, every time I pray, I mention you and give thanks to my God. For I hear of your love for all of God's people and the faith you have in the Lord Jesus. My prayer is that our fellowship with you as believers will bring about a deeper understanding of every blessing which we have in our life in union with Christ. Your love, dear brother, has brought me great joy and much encouragement! You have cheered the hearts of all of God's people. -Philemon 4-7

Joy in Words

Collection of thoughts

Words from the mind

Pages full of stories

That stand the test of time

Wisdom and love

Many times being told

Passages create and inspire

Both the young and the old

Joy in words

An emotional outlet here

Bound in a lovely book

Journaling can draw one near

I found this poem written in a journal entry of mine dated 11/5/2006.

I have always been amazed how writing things down somehow cements thoughts, memories, ideas, scenes, conversations, etc... in my mind. That must be why, while studying in college, I would write out formulas, charts, calculations, and definitions. I found that I couldn't just look over the book and my notes. I needed to write it all out several times so it would stick in my memory.

Words float around like clouds inside my head until I am able to sit and put those clouds together into a formed thought, then some writings. It's a part of my daily required activities. Like brushing my teeth. Something I simply must do.

The world is but a canvas to our imagination. -Henry David Thoreau

Hospitality- English Style

I don't think I really appreciated hospitality until I traveled to England for the first time. The more I travel, the more open I have become to welcoming people, meeting people, and experiencing time with good people. As Christians we are to share the good news and show love to our neighbors. What better way to show love than by welcoming guests and treating them like family?

I will never forget my first arrival in England. Jason and I flew over with his friend Richard, and we planned to stay with his family at their farm in Tonbridge, Kent, about a 30 minute train ride south of London. At the airport, Richard's dad picked us up and drove us into Tonbridge. This was my first time stepping onto the ground of England. First time overseas. First time encountering driving on the left side of the road. My eyes must have been wide like owl's eyes. Even after the overnight flight with little sleep, my senses were alive and alert.

We drove down narrow streets lined with hedges on both sides (the English love their hedges) and soon pulled into the farm. The white farmhouse is a lovely 2-storey full of family history. We made our way into the kitchen, where Richard's mum greeted us. Richard commented that our breakfast on the plane was not very good, so his mum told us to put our luggage away and she would fix some tea. Jason and I brought our luggage upstairs to our rooms. My room was the sewing/craft room. It had a single bed against the wall and a long desk full of sewing supplies. It had windows that would open by a little lever. One window was open, hinged at the top, it was pushed outward and held open by a little arm. My room overlooked a lovely garden on the side of the house. Upon further exploring, I noticed all the windows in the house were open and there were no screens. No need for A/C and no need for screens either. I found that even during that first night, as it rained, my window stayed open and no rain came in. The cool night air kept my room delightfully chilly and utterly comfortable. Sounds of the English Countryside leaked in, but rain did not.

After checking out Jason's room, we headed back downstairs to the kitchen, where Richard's mum prepared tea, coffee, toast, jam, cereal, and other items. This was my first taste of tea in England, and they sure know how to make the best pots of tea. Every cup of tea I had in England (trust me, I had a lot) was a thousand times better than I've had before. It is amazing. I learned that teatime is pretty much any time you take a break. Meaning, it's a frequent occurance. As I took a piece of toast and slathered it with homemade plum and port jam made by Richard's brother, his dad and brother popped in to have a cup of tea before going back out on the farm. Then his sister came in reminding everyone of the wedding in a short time. We were not invited, of course, but everyone thought it would be lovely if we came, and we could just sit up in the gallery. So, we all dressed in some nice clothes, and 3 hours after landing in England we went to an English wedding. I felt part of the family. It was such a warm feeling to be included and welcomed in everything. Later, we took walks around the farm through the sheep fields and the apple orchards. I ate one of their apples the next day and it was perfectly crisp and sweet. We went to church with the family the next day, and had lunch in the kitchen with the addition of a long table for all the family and guests, more walks around the farm, and an elaborate tea (with meats, cheeses, cakes, fruit, tea) where everyone relaxed in the sitting room reading, talking, eating, and enjoying time together before another church service that night.

It was bliss. These were the first impressions of England that I encountered. Full of hospitality. Doesn't it make you want to go?

Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. -Hebrews 13.2

Heat

Listen. If the leaves

Rustle, it's a gift.

This hot silence is not

Easy to miss

With the loud clashing

Against your skin

As it stews outside.

I look out, from within.

An escape, just until

I step out next.

It reached 90 degrees today. I don't think I am ready for the kind of heat Florida deals out regularly in the Summer. This same time last week I was sitting out on my balcony, comfortable in the low humidity. I knew it would be short-lived, and that is why I soaked it in. Now, the humid, hot air has returned and everyone flocks to the pool. I went for a run at my apartment gym and on my way back the only sound was the drone of everyone's air conditioning unit running. Welcome to Florida.

Love Is The Answer

Questions linger, floating freely

Dreams are choppy, strange, and foggy

I look around at the daily dull

With visions of somewhere much more full

I never thought this is where I'd be

Unsure by everything I see

Yet sure of the love God has for me

Thankful for each moment I am free

The price was high for the love I have

I stop to think how much it cost

So sharing this love is the answer here

For if not for this love, I would be lost

A poem is like a rosebud, like Russian nesting dolls, like anything small and compact that contains multitudes. Or like one of those plastic capsules that, dropped into bathwater, dissolves to produce a large foam dinosaur. Poems are deceptively expansive.
-Dyana Herron, Image Journal

Durham, England

Right along the train route in Northeast England, this little town quickly became one of my favorites. I could easily live here. From the train you cannot miss the Durham Cathedral standing tall on the hill. It’s impressive. Durham is a short 15 minute train ride south of Newcastle. Something I love about the train system is that the stations are usually fairly close to the town centre, which is ideal for a traveler like me, who doesn’t have a car or bike. Walking is my mode of transportation, and really the best way to see any city anyway.

So I arrived in Durham and found my way to the town centre, and with each step the road slowly started to incline, as my destination was the Durham Cathedral and Castle, which sit at the top of the hill. The narrow, pedestrian-only, cobblestone streets twist their way up the hill. Along the way there is so much to distract you from the upward climb. Cafes, unique little shops, groceries, bookstores, a beautiful church, a plaza with a statue of a man on a horse, and lots of people taking a stroll. I took my time meandering through the streets since I didn’t know for sure where I was going, but I figured as long as I was walking uphill I would reach the cathedral.

At last the cathedral came into view as I emerged from narrow streets to a wide open green space on the Durham University campus. The Castle itself is part of the university, and students live in the castle keep. How amazing is that? I asked this question of Jason’s friend, Humphrey, who I met on our first trip to the UK. He went to school there and lives in Newcastle. He acted as our tour guide on our first visit, and he knew the answer to everything we asked him. History, stories, interesting quirks. When Humphrey drove us to Durham that time, it was after sunset, so we walked up to the cathedral, but discovered we could not enter it because Sting was filming a DVD inside. I wanted to say to Sting, Um, excuse us, but we are visiting from the States and we really want to see the cathedral. I don’t think that would have worked. But Humphrey told us interesting things like how each student gets the chance to live in the castle for one year. This second visit I took the train alone from Newcastle, and we met up with Humphrey on another evening.

I took a guided tour through the castle, dating from 1072. A student led the group around and told us interesting stories. We walked up a staircase of solid oak, which was slanted because it had no support columns. We discovered I was the only American in the group of about 30. Then I toured the cathedral, dating from 1096-1130, which demonstrates the classic Norman architecture, and I had lunch in the crypt (delicious!). Later, I went back into town and wandered around like a local. I stopped in the Waterstone’s bookstore and was captivated by more English Literature than I could dream of. Of course, it was because the university was a block or two away. I made my rounds in a little convenience store, buying a magazine and my favorite British chocolate. I found myself wanting to find reasons to stay there. So, I sat in a Café Nero for awhile, sipping a mocha and feeling so utterly comfortable in the town. I finally walked slowly back to the train station.

You could definitely call it a quaint town. Yet this is the home of the most beloved cathedral in England and the 3rd oldest university in England after Oxford and Cambridge. I loved that it wasn’t overrun with tourists. I loved that it had so much history. People were friendly, the pace was easy, and the places I ate had the freshest ingredients. I would go back to Durham in a heartbeat.



Endless

Endless invention, endless experiment,

Brings knowledge of motion, but not of stillness,

Knowledge of speech, but not of silence,

Knowledge of words, and ignorance of the Word.

All our knowledge brings us nearer to death,

But nearness to death, no nearer to God.

-T.S. Eliot, The Rock

With so much going on in our world, our country, our state, our job, and our families, it's sometimes hard to feel collected in our own thoughts. The demands of each day pull at us from several directions, all demanding our attention. We can get lost in the shuffle of the everyday and so entangled in other people's lives (people we know or don't know) that we lose sight of our own. We let opportunities slip by or we forget to take advantage of situations we are in where we can make good things happen.

While it is good to stay on top of things and be well informed, sometimes life does require a time to disconnect and get away from it all. The noise and distractions. The demands. The stress. Maybe if we kept a Sabbath day we would enter each new week with a refreshed spirit, instead of dragging our feet. Jesus went out into the wilderness quite often to pray and be still. We are not made to go on and on endlessly. God rested, and so should we. Use that time to strengthen communication with God. I don't mean meditate all day, but slow down and let God in. You may begin to see how often you usually push Him out.

Blue Ridge Challenge

This nice weather that just rolled down into Florida has me thinking back to a month or so ago when I was in North Carolina. A change of scenery is a sure way to get the gears moving in my mind. Some of the windy days we have had lately brings me back to driving along the Blue Ridge Parkway when the wind was a constant 30-40 mph. I could feel the invisible gusts striking the side of my car as I drove. As I stood at a lookout spot taking photos, a gust came from behind me and I dug my heels into the ground. That wind could have shoved me off the cliff because there's no railing here, I thought, and there's nobody around to notice.

It made me feel pretty isolated in nature. The wind coming over the mountain peaks where trees sit without leaves and little patches of leftover snow cling to a few roadside spots. I look around me and there is nothing except mountains and a very enjoyable stretch of road to drive on. I hop back into my BMW and pull out onto the parkway and curve around the mountain faster than I should. The road is desolate. It's almost all mine. I stop at the lookouts and take a moment to marvel at the view and the quiet it was. How the mountains seem to extend forever in front of me and how the sky and clouds sit low enough to touch the mountains. Then, I remember that I am in the sky too. At 4,400 feet it's a dream world far away from the flatness of Florida. I smile at the beauty and creativity of God's creation, and my soul is reluctant to leave.

When I experience different things apart from my normal everyday schedule, I find that I am more open to taking time to enjoy, marvel, see, respect, and soak it in. So, how can I fit that into each day, even in a small way? That is a challenge, indeed.

The brave who focus on all things good and all things beautiful and all things true, even in the small, who give thanks for it and discover joy even in the here and now, they are the change agents who bring fullest light to all the world. -Ann Voskamp

Calling Haiti .......Are You There?

I am amazed by the technology we have today. The things our mobile phones do now is baffling to many people (such as our parents age group), as they are still trying to figure out how to text, let alone figure out how to Google map directions on a phone. When you think about it, it has moved so fast. I got my first mobile phone in high school when I started driving. I had a limited number of minutes to use and the only thing it did was make and receive calls. Today, I see 10 year olds with mobile phones that browse the Internet and take HD video.

I think we forget sometimes how it feels to lose connection to someone.
I am particularly thinking about this right now because my brother, Jason, is in Haiti with 7 other amazing people from his church. They have been there for four days now. When they flew into Port-au-Prince, they had to take a small plane south to Les Cayes. There, at the missionaries home base, there was a computer with Internet, so I was thrilled to receive an email from Jason saying they all had arrive safely. But I knew that was the last I would be able to hear from him until 5 days later. The next morning, they were scheduled to drive through the rough roads in the mountains to Baraderes. I can't wait to hear from him in a few days.

You don’t know what you have until it’s gone, right? When I can usually call, email, text, or G-chat Jason, it is now so blatently obvious that I have no way to communicate with him. Truthfully, I am not worried. I have been praying each day for all that the group will be doing. It’s getting used to this lack of communication that I am not accustomed to.
It’s trusting in things that I cannot see. Having faith that while I cannot communicate, God most definitely can. Even in the midst of a tiny Haitian village. That is why the prayers are so important. It’s helping me remember that nothing can replace the communication we need with God, through prayer.

To have faith is to be sure of the things we hope for, to be certain of the things we cannot see. -Hebrews 11.1

Not All Who Need Help Cry Out

"I would have you know my mind, and by knowing it, understand that I wish only to help you."
Fin felt her jaw tighten and had to force herself to relax. "I don't need your help."
"So you have said." Jeannot touched the welt under his eye. "But not all who need help cry out."
-"Fiddler's Green", A.S. Peterson

I just finished reading this book, Fiddler's Green. It's a beautifully written adventure story where the main character, Fin, (a redhead!) starts off as a tough-headed, misguided, selfish pirate, but through the course of the hardships she and her ship's crew endure, and the patience and compassion of Jeannot, she ends up saving people from slavery and earning herself a much improved character with compassion.
This little section of dialogue really struck me as I read. I saw some deeper things going on here. Jeannot is a knight from Malta and he represents the dying order of good, moral, and just actions. He is just trying to help Fin, and yet she doesn't want to admit she needs help. She's living in this little bubble of denial.

How many of us live in denial that we need help? It's not the kind of help we need when we need a ride to work. But it's a deeper kind of help we need for our souls. We enter dark times of struggle and we need sustenance to get through the stretch of time. Lent is a season where we focus on the dark times before Easter morning. Where we think about the sacrifice and suffering of Jesus. The simple fact is, Jesus is just trying to help us, and we tend to be the stubborn souls living in denial.

The purpose of the darkness is to prepare us for the dawn. And the dawn comes on Easter when the tomb is empty and everything is changed. Doubts are stripped away as all that was foretold came true.

Jesus said, "Don't be afraid, only believe." Mark 5.36

He understands us and knows what is best for us. Ephesians 1.8

Tiny Corner of Peace

This morning smells like the coffee I brewed, pages from my book, and fresh air. Occasionally, the cool breeze brings a subtle scent of sweet flowers. Just for a moment I inhale slowly to capture the memory of the smell. Lovely. I am so glad my apartment faces the grass, the wilderness, and then a golf course in the distance. The peacefulness is much appreciated on a day like this- where the world seems frozen in a perpetual painting of blue sky, green grass, and bright sun. After a wild week of rain and storms, I imagine everyone has rushed outside. Many sunburns will emerge as overzealous people forget that the sun is very strong. But days lacking in sun makes Floridians nostalgic for it. I am content in the shade. My pale skin thanks me.

My little corner is a tiny spot, and yet nature and peacefulness abounds. But you have to stop and listen. Take deep breaths. Pay attention. Take notice of the little things. Otherwise it gets lost as just another day.

Let Your face smile on us, Lord. Psalm 4.6

Isle of Skye, Scotland

The Quiraing
I think this was my favorite spot on the Isle of Skye, Scotland. The pure awe I felt while looking out onto this prehistoric place left me inspired by God's imagination. The attraction here is God's creation. This island has very little else. No cities. No big buildings. More sheep than people. Lots of shaggy highland cattle. So, drive around this amazing place on the single-track roads and soak in the fullness of the dramatic scenes.
This photo has been my desktop background since I have been back, so for about 6 months, now. I never get tired of looking at this view.