Used Bookstore Found!

This weekend, I discovered a used bookstore in town. That's correct. This is not a typo. Here in town. Actually, to be honest, I have known about the bookstore for some time. Ryan told me about it. Then Jordan told me about it. They know how crazy I am about books. Yet somehow I doubted that it would have anything more than trashy romantic paperbacks and mystery novels. I have been to some used bookstores that were full of such junk. So forgive me for being skeptical.

Well, in my craving for a used bookstore and no where else in the vicinity to go without driving over an hour, I gave it a shot. I was on a treasure hunt and surprisingly, it had more than I expected. The assumed aisles of the romance and mystery were there, but it also had some decent fiction. Even a half aisle was dedicated to classics. They had some old books, too, from the late 1800s and early 1900s. But they seemed overpriced to me, and some were crumbling from being stored in a hot environment. So, I didn't get any old books. Though I did find a reprinting of one of Charlotte Brontë's early novellas, which I had never heard of before. I am pretty excited about that, as I like her early writings. She and her siblings (two sisters Emily and Anne,  and brother Branwell) created a world of cities and characters, and each of them wrote stories about all the happenings of these characters. This little book I found is part of that.

I always like finding cool local spots to check out, whether it be restaurants or little shops. It's those types of places that make each town unique. And I am always up for supporting the family-run places that are a part of the community. So, next time I am craving a used bookstore (okay, I'm not going to lie, that's very often), I may just have to visit this place again.

Joshua

The book of Joshua is action packed. No time is wasted, it seems, after Moses dies. Joshua is now the leader and God instructs him to destroy one city after the next. And Joshua obeys. The kings of the cities across the region hear of Joshua and fear for their lives. They try to fight. They lose. There is no stopping God when He gives a command, and fulfills a promise to deliver the land to the Israelites.

Jen and I always talk about what we are reading in the Bible and right now we are both reading in the Old Testament. She is going through Genesis and I am reading Joshua. Last week we were talking about how these stories are intriguing and make us want to read more because there is so much action and drama going on. The people get it wrong, have bad morals, and disobey God. And yet the beauty of it is God uses them anyway. While we read about these people and feel disappointed at their bad behavior, it is a comfort to know they were not perfect. If they had been perfect we would all look at them and think them to be at a height we could never reach. It is meant to show us that with all the flaws each of us has, God can use us for His glory.

I am finding that Joshua, though, seems to be one who obeys God without question. It is fascinating to see such a contrast. He is told by God to fight battles for the land that was promised to Israel. And God gives victory to Israel over and over. I am sure you know the story of Jericho. That is just one of the cities that is taken over, destroyed, and left with no survivors. They are pretty brutal.

There is a passage that caused me to stop and wonder, where Joshua tells the sun to stand still, and it does, according to Scripture, for a whole day. That seems impossible!
And yet nothing is impossible with God. Even though we modern people are only accustomed to such events being told through action movies nowadays.

And even more intriguing is this next line:

There has been no day like it before or since, when the Lord obeyed the voice of a man, for the Lord fought for Israel.
-Joshua 10.14

Unfathomable.
Almost.
For it is there, written in Scripture for us to read today. The sun stands still? God obeyed a man? Joshua led a pretty amazing life. These stories are full of battles, swords clashing, brutal killings of kings, and conquering cities. It could be the script for a Hollywood movie, yet it is evidence of God's love and fulfilled promises to those who love Him.

Photo: Tynemouth Castle, Tynemouth, England

Grass is Greener

The grass is greener
when it rains.
You appreciate a sunny day
when the clouds hover
and will not go away.

An abundance is hidden
in the small things.
A word and a grin
can fill the heart
and make me try again.

Mushy Feelings About Summer

I am trying to cultivate a feeling of appreciation for every season because just like life, each season has its purpose and we are in it for a reason. It's easy for me to find things I love about Autumn, Winter, and Spring. But Summer doesn't strike me with instant joy because I don't like heat and humidity. If you have met me, you know that I am a misplaced northerner. One who loves being in the chilly air.
So, my list of loves might be shorter than yours, but here we go....

Things I love about Summer:
a refreshing rain on a hot day, lush green grass, banana ice cream with dark chocolate chips, the coolness left behind after a nighttime rain, the smell of rain, gelato, sunnies, arugula salad, crepe myrtles bloomed in bright shades of pink and yellow, passion tea lemonade, long drives, juicy apples, big puffy clouds, orange sunsets, soft rain as you go to sleep, iced soy chai latte, ice water with lemon or lime, reading in a coffee shop, air conditioning, road trips, BBQ, fluttery dresses, crushed ice, confederate jasmine and the scent of these tiny flowers, sandals with ankle straps, yogurt parfaits, concerts, lightning bugs, afternoon storms, watermelon, salty ocean breeze, walks in the evening

What's on your list?

God in my Luggage

Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
-Joshua 1.9

I like this verse because it makes me feel taken care of. Like I have nothing to worry about. That is what God wants! He wants me to be free of worry so I an focus on Him. No matter where I may be, God is with me. God is on the loneliest stretches of the desert and in the most crowded cities.

I love to travel, by all sorts of modes- trains, planes, automobiles. I like traveling alone, or with someone. I like to watch people in crowded places or stare at waterfalls and mountains. One part I love about travel is seeing God in all these things. It is brought to my attention more vividly because it is set apart from my normal surroundings. I never know what I will see, and that excites me.

I see God's amazing display along the curving mountain roads. I can see God at work in the rush hour mass at a train station.
And I love it.

I love that no matter where I go, the same God is loving me all along the way. I pull my luggage behind me and know that God is there too.....okay, not in my luggage, but in my heart.

Fragmented

It's here in the pieces of my shame
that I now find myself again.
I yearn to belong to something, to be contained
in an all-embracing mind that sees me
as a single thing.
I yearn to be held
in the great hands of your heart-
oh let them take me now.

Into them I place these fragments, my life,
and you, God, spend them however you want.

-Rainer Rilke

Oh God, I am fragmented. Tiny pieces all a-jumble. Like clouds in the sky all broken apart by a myriad of winds from multiple directions. I don't know what to do or what to think sometimes. The uncertainty surrounding me gets the best of me more often than I wish, and I want my future to by in Your hands. The desires in my heart are pure and they run deep. I pray for these things that could be.
I pray for the good that is about to happen. In Your hands, I give myself. For the possibilities that may happen, I pray for the opportunities to smack me in the face so there's no denying the path You place before me. For I need a nudge oftentimes.

Wake Up From Sleep

It's Monday....and that means groggy thoughts from a girl who is trying to get a grip on the joy revealed in every day. A speculative soul who is learning to let go. The longing rises with each morning as I snuggle in my cozy bed for a few minutes after my alarm goes off. Softly the thoughts and dreams stream into my head as they awaken with my muscles. Just in a temporary dose, they were. As I venture to my closet and pull a top from a hanger and grab a skirt, I muse about the dreams I might have had, if I can remember any of them.

I hear words and lines of potential poetry in my head but I can't quite focus on making them form into something cohesive enough to write down.
Distractions have already begun and I have been awake a mere 3 minutes.
There aren't any sounds to distract me yet. The morning light comes into my bedroom slowly. Still dim, but rising.
My distractions are of myself.

I pick up my Bible and read the next chapter in Romans. It is about submitting to authority, mostly in regards to the government, because it all is instituted by God. At a closer level, a work level, this also fits.Which makes me pause.
Pay attention. These are things I need to work on. Everything I do should be for the glory of God. If it's not, I need to work on that.

"Wake up from sleep", says the writer of Romans. And that is more than just getting a cup of coffee.

Wall

Embrace me, God, and hold me close,
apart from all, I need You the most.
The distance is thin and yet the wall
I put up keeps me from seeing all
the goodness You bestow on me
and the things You want me to be.

While my questions are a million
I'd much rather have a zillion
knowing I am loved eternally
than be privy, smug, feeling free.
It's crumbling away, as I chip at the wall,
my heart swells in joy as I see it fall.

_______________________________________________________
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
Romans 15.13

Book of Hours

I live my life in widening circles
that reach out across the world.
I may not complete this last one
but I give myself to it.

-Rainer Rilke (1875-1926)

How have I missed Rilke's Book of Hours before now? I am utterly astonished that I, being someone who loves to write as Rilke did, missed reading Rilke at all before this Spring when I picked up his Duino Elegies. I have no idea how this happened, but I am so thankful I have discovered him now. I picked up this book in Gainesville last week when my Mom and I stopped at the bookstore on our way out of town. Every poem in this book makes me sigh with longing that he writes about and the beauty of his words.

All creation holds its breath, listening within me,
because, to hear you, I keep silent.

I think this will quickly become one my favourite books of poetry. Rilke writes in short sentences (though the German is longer than the English translation), displaying in a few words a world of imagery and thought. His thoughts in words expand in my mind like an expanding balloon reaching my imagination and my soul. He leaves so much unspoken and yet says something so specific. Is that possible?

I am the dream you are dreaming
When you want to awaken, I am that wanting;
I grow strong in the beauty you behold.
And with the silence of stars I enfold
your cities made by time.

My words seem so shallow in comparison. These are the types of poems that swim laps through my mind for while. Deep. Thoughtful. Thought provoking. I don't forget it the moment I turn the page.

I look at the German on one side of each page and pick out the words I know, and I try to read the sentences. Then I wonder how the poems feel when read and understood fully in German. One day I will tell you...

I don't want to think a place for you.
Speak to me from everywhere.
Your Gospel can be comprehended
without looking for its source.

When I go toward you
it is with my whole life.

Sapphire Sky

This orange glow in the sky
illumines a giant half-translucent cloud
that sits on the tops of all trees
outside my window.
Amazingly bright
it somehow makes the blue sky bluer,
As if a child scribbled extra hard
with a crayon.
But as the orange hue is fading
A pink radiance shades all the clouds
and as the ground grows darker,
shadows fall quickly.
The clouds seem to dissipate into the
deepening night,
Like God is taking an eraser
to the clouds, creating a blank canvas
of sapphire sky.

Befriend Faithfulness

Trust in the Lord, and do good;
dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the Lord
and He will give you the
desires of your heart.

-Psalm 37. 3-4

I have been reading a few Psalms each day, and Psalm 37 has been sticking out to me lately. These verses above, especially so, probably because I am in need of these words and the reminder to trust and stay faithful to God's love and promises no matter what. I like how the Psalmist writes to "befriend faithfulness". It kind of got me thinking. Can I be friends with faithfulness? Why yes, of course, I concluded. Because the Bible tells me so.

Stretching myself to meditate about this more, I thought about how we can befriend faithfulness. Things we do with friends can all be done in the act of being faithful.
- We can talk faithfulness by praying.
- We can hangout with faithfulness by doing the right thing.
- We can share details with faithfulness by witnessing to others by actions and/or words.
- We can spend time with faithfulness by reading the Bible everyday

Some of these things are harder for me than others, but when I put my trust in God and let those doubts about my abilities fizzle away, I see so quickly how joy fills me when I am friends with faithfulness.

After that, the next verse follows along. When I am fully trusting God I give Him command of my path, which leads to the fulfillment of God giving me the desires of my heart. Instead of the world giving me the desires of my heart, I am joyful in knowing that God has specific plans and ways to use me. The desires He gives me will help drive me to do that which He wants me to do.

It all sounds so simple and yet we tend to complicate things, don't we? We create our own desires and drama, and let the world tell us what we want to do. We rarely look deep into ourselves to think and to give God time. Reading the Bible and praying opens us up to God's wisdom and plans for us.

The difficulty involves us giving up our control, or our feeling of control. This feeling is fabricated by us, for none of us have control, and it is the hurdle that is the highest to jump over, oftentimes. There is no guarantee that a soft landing awaits us over that hurdle, but Psalm 37. 23-24 tells us:

The steps of the man are established by the Lord,
when he delights in his way;
though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong,
for the Lord upholds his hand.

Opposite: A Reflection on Grace

How does it make sense that God loves us while we keep sinning? We are unlovable much of the time. We waver. We knowingly turn away from the right thing. We hurt others.

...but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more...
Romans 5.20

How do we deserve this kind of love and why would anyone choose to reject it? Well, we don't deserve such love, and all I know is I would be an absolute train wreck if I did not have God's grace holding me all the time. Still, I find a way to mess things up, but the grace is still there, and astonishingly, according to Romans 5, abounding all the more.

Abounding. That means "having in great numbers" or "plentiful". So that would tell me it is the perfect amount. Just enough and exactly what I need. In other words- God's grace is exactly what I need in the perfect amount that I need. Each time I mess up, He still provides in abundance.

Wait. What?

This is all so opposite of what we are taught in this world. Trying to learn the opposite of this world is not easy. It's hard to grasp the tiniest understanding of this love whilst surrounded by the elements of this world that do not reflect God's love. Writing about it is my way of trying to understand it. Thinking and reflecting through my words. How do you try to understand God's love?

Fun Little Things

Random little things from the recent vacation to the North Carolina mountains. A collection of little tidbits of the journey, in photographs.

Coffee Underground, Greenville, SC. Love their coffee. Love their atmosphere. Love this wingback chair.

I liked this rug in the house we rented for the week. The house was big, spacious, and full of lovely rugs.

Beautifully crafted yarns for sale in a tiny shop in Highlands, NC. Made me want to knit a new scarf, even though it was about 90 degrees that day.

Car #1- Ryan & Sam, and car #2- the Giles Family, driving under Bridal Veil Falls along the mountain road up to Highlands, NC

The Cork and Bean Coffee House in Bryson City, NC. Delicious coffee. Really cute little coffee house. I wanted all the chairs in this place.

I like owls. This one was for sale at The Dry Sink. A cute store in Highlands, NC.

Yep, that blur is Jason, wearing a German alpine hat. Like German cars, he moves so fast my camera barely caught him.

Family photo as we visit Grandma in Franklin. It is always good to see her.

I Am Dreaming...

I am dreaming...
My dreams are starting to grow
With goodness yet I do not know
There's a bigness to my dreams
Bigger than normal, it seems
And I feel my path is being led
To these grand dreams instead
Of staying complacent in the small
With God in charge of it all
I let each dream fall in His hand
And it's all according to His plan
Like a star in its trajectory
The course is mapped for me

Whiteside Mountain

Our visit to North Carolina isn't complete without a hike up Whiteside Mountain. It's a 2 mile hike up and down, and all around the top of the mountain, complete with views that always make me stop and stare into the creative works of God's fingers on the landscapes. It's so beautiful. They don't call it the Blue Ridge Mountains for nothing. The blue hue is so beautiful. I always wish I could spend more time at the top, with my journal and pen on my lap, sitting on a rock overlooking the scenes below. At 4,930 feet, there's plenty to see. But the bees always keep me moving along. They don't want me to chill out in their space. So, I move along and finish the hike, and admire the couple of photos that I took while staring down on the land that baked in the summer sun.

Lurking Creature

Like one that on a lonesome road
Doth walk in fear and dread,
And having one turn'd round, walks on,
And turn no more his head;
Because he knows a frightful fiend
Doth close behind him tread

-Samuel Taylor Coleridge

I feel like sometimes I am being followed by a dark, lurking creature. At any moment it tries to cover me with its shadow. It brings those thoughts of fear, worry, and doubt. Sneaking those thoughts into my path so that I trip over them and scrap my knee.

It is surely true. Satan does follow me in many ways, trying to make me stumble however he can. He does the same to you. In some cases, it's a simple negative thought that I allow room to grow. Before I know it, that thought has expanded, taking up all the space that used to be filled with joyful thoughts. Shoved out by the negative, the joy fades quicker than I ever thought. Hopefully I snap out of it quickly and realize that it's really Satan trying to get to me. Once I realize that, I remember several passages from the Bible that speak about the spiritual struggle that goes on all day, every day. Satan doesn't rest.

1 Peter 5. 8-9 is what I thought of when I read this passage (above) by Samuel Taylor Coleridge.

Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. (1 Peter 5.8-9)

Blue Mountains

Up in the blue mountains
A taste of life away
In many way dramatic
And here I wish to stay

In a land of waterfalls
The air is fresher here
Heights aside from the normal
With mornings blue and clear

God's splendor on the hills
It's a joy to behold
Lichen grows on trees and stone
Rhododendron pink, white, and bold

Whitewater Falls

The top of the falls

Boulder City

Enjoying the cold water

Reaching Boulder City

Perfectly clear cold water

The hike back up. This is actually a wide section.

Whitewater Falls is quite a hiking adventure! It is an easy walk to the top of the falls, where the view is pretty great. But the real fun begins when you take the narrow, steep, difficult path that winds down to the bottom of the valley. Five switchbacks of tough, rocky, rooty, terrain greet us, the hikers, as we made our way down. At the bottom? Ryan and Sam dubbed the area "Boulder City" because it's at the bottom and the water coming off the falls, cascades over huge boulders, making an interesting place to explore, wade in the cold water, and have a little lunch. Then, the strenuous hike back up. Oh yea, that is the fun part. And when you reach the top, there's 150 stairs to climb after the set of tiny stairs. We had a lot of fun on this little adventure. When I am set in a drastically different location from what I am used to (FL flatlands) I look at these beautiful, dangerous places with awe. God's creation is so varying and so beautiful, I don't know how someone could look at this nature and not see God's fingerprints all over it.

Mountain Morning

Good morning bees
You fly above my head
Sitting outside, birds chirping
Feet resting on the white railing
Sipping coffee sweet with milk
Quiet and still, sky clear
Warmth growing, mountains blue
Trees tall, barely blocking my view
From the top of this mountain
Life is beautiful in this hue

Independence Day

Happy Birthday America!
Newspaper and delicious cup of coffee courtesy of Coffee Underground in Greenville, SC. Such an appropriate red, white, and blue scene. What could be more American than a cup of coffee and a newspaper? How about fireworks, grilled hot dogs, corn on the cob, chips, baked beans, and ice cream? (Our dinner tonight)
How about a small town in the South, which to me is the North, at the top of a mountain. Where peaches are ripe, rhododendrons are in bloom, and hiking is the favourite activity? Pristine downtown churches with signs about their Independence Day handbell concert. Motocycles cruise the mountain roads (and BMWs in our case). A hot day with a cold glass of lemonade. Or iced tea. Or hikes everyday to various waterfalls.
We all are free to do what we want, where we want, all the time. We celebrate in our own ways. We express ourselves differently. We are a part of this young country that was founded so that we would be free to be creative and different, with a governing body elected by us. We have a voice. We have a history full of brave people who weren't afraid to take a stand.
We have much to be thankful for.

Views From the Top

We arrived in the mountains of North Carolina, traversing through the heat soaked lands. Such extreme heat, with temps reaching 111º. Yes, that's right. So hot that your shoes stick to the pavement. (That actually happened to Patience as we went grocery shopping before heading up the mountain)
But now we are up in the mountains, above 4100 feet, where the heat has been abnormal for the area. The air is dry, so it's not sticky like it gets in Florida.
We had an intense storm last night, complete with hours of rain, lightning, and hail. As we woke this morning the air was fresh and clear, and much cooler. Today was quite the opposite of what it was yesterday, and it's lovely. I hope each day will be like this.

Quick Visit

We made an overnight stop in Greenville, SC. Staying in the Hyatt downtown gave us the ability to walk up and down the streets a few times that night and the next morning, where a huge farmer's market had emerged. The suspension bridge at the Falls Park on the Reedy River is always a cool spot, even in the dark. We hit the Blue Ridge Brewery for buffalo burgers and beer, while a street party went on outside.
The whole country seems to be stuck in a heat wave, and this area is no exception. I kept seeing temperatures I don't think I've ever seen before, like 106 -111 degrees.
In the morning, we walked down to a really cool coffee shop, Coffee Underground, which is in the basement of a downtown building. A yogurt parfait and big cup of coffee was just what I needed to start the day. Then we discovered the farmer's market that was a few blocks away, and bought some green peppers for the stir fry dinner we had planned for one night.
Greenville is a pretty cool city, so I am glad we made a quick stop there.