Tulipa: Friendship

Can I just dedicate this entire page to these gorgeous tulips my dear friend Chancie bought me? If you didn't know, tulips are my favourite flower. There are so many varieties, and I like them all. If I can personify a flower here for a moment, tulips are graceful. That is what I have always like about them. The way they stand tall, and then gently curve toward the sunlight as they open up.

My friend was visiting Florida over the weekend and she got them for me in celebration of my new job, and my soon-to-be-move to my new apartment. It was such a lovely surprise! I rarely get flowers and to have their burst of colour in my apartment is a treat, for sure. As was the time I got to spend with my friend.

Life's little pleasures just reminds me of God's richest blessings in our lives everyday. Every single day is truly a gift that is meant to be enjoyed and to be filled to the brim of joy. Anything that takes out joy away should be left out of the formula for the day. I have struggled with that for a long time, and I am finally (at last) to a point where I am able to filter out the negative, and the things that do not bring me joy, but hurt. Sorry, negative vibes, I don't have room for you in my life. But lovely tulips and lovely friends, I have plenty of room for you.

Follow

I was watching an Andy Stanley message the other morning about following. (Note: If you haven't listened to Andy's messages I highly recommend them) The one I watched was here.

He was asking the simple question. Am I following?
Or am I worrying about the rules and how I should change or do this or that?

Andy said this, below, and I just had to write it down because it was the most profound piece which summed it all up perfectly:

The Pharisees say - Change, and then you can join us
Jesus says - Join us and it will change you

When we contemplate our own lives and think about being a better Christian we probably think about how we need to change, or how we need to stop doing something and then we will be a better Christian. It's back to that mis-conception of following the rules only. That common mis-conception is what so many non-Christians think. They think we live by rules and cannot have any fun. The rules do not change your heart. Those things are good, but should not be the starting point.

We don't have to change first, and then follow. No. We are able to follow right now. Wherever we are. By following right away, the change happens gradually and will emerge without you even thinking about it. We allow God to work on our hearts, and the changes come as a result. It will not be easy, no promise was ever made that it would be. And yet a joy will fill our hearts. But the choosing comes first.
Follow.
The change comes next.

A lot of times I think we get stuck in the earthly way of thought. That we have to prove ourselves worthy. That's always going to be a problem because we are truly never going to be worthy. But we aren't talking earthly love here. It's heavenly. It's eternal. It is God's love that seeks us, and we don't have to do anything except get up and follow.

Iced Coffee

The other afternoon I wanted some coffee, but iced coffee sounded really good (being that it's in the 80's here and pretty humid). So, I iced my coffee, and it was delicious and will most definitely be a regular weekend occurrence. Why did I not think of that before? I definitely prefer hot coffee, but here in Florida it gets so hot here that I just want an icy drink. Well, my mind is awake now and I will remember this.

Why did I not do this before? That I cannot say, but now that we are entering into the loooonng hot months of Florida, the iced coffee ritual will be readily repeated. Add a fun chevron patterned straw and you've got a   fun drink worthy of a coffee shop.

I have many things in store for this weekend, how about you?

Happy Weekend!

8 Tracks

I am about to share some great music with you. I felt it only the appropriate thing to do. I knew you needed some good jams. And when you know about something pretty cool it's only right to share the goodness.

My boss and co-worker have gotten me connected to 8Tracks, (8tracks.com) a music sharing website where people create playlists that you listen to. On my first day at work, my boss introduced me to it. I thought that was pretty cool because sometimes you just need some good music to keep you going through some work. I like it because I don't have to think about what to listen to, it just keeps playing that kind of category until I change it.

Basically, you can search the playlists by your mood or the type of music you want to listen to, or you can search for a specific artist and they will list the playlists that contain that artist.

I like this website. You should check it out. My current favourite go-to playlist is this one here. And yes, that is a photo of J.R.R. Tolkien. Someone knows how to grab my attention. Ha. 
I also like a lot of the classical playlists, like this one here, but I am still exploring them more each day, and enjoying some groovy music my office-mates play.
So go listen to some good music!

Hope is the thing with Feathers

"Hope" is the thing with feathers
that perches in the soul
and sings the tune without the words
and never stops at all.

And sweetest in the gale is heard
and sore must be the storm
that could abash the little bird
that kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land
and on the strangest sea
yet, never, in extremity,
it asked a crumb of me.

-Emily Dickinson

It's hard sometimes, in all this joy and goodness, not to feel that someone is missing. I cannot even tell you how many times, in the recent month or so especially, I have thought how much I wished my Dad was here to be able to take part in all the good things going on. To hear about my new job, to see the new apartment I will be moving into, to meet his first granddaughter, and many other good things going on in my family. O! How I ache in my heart and soul that he isn't here to be a part of all this.

And yet....

I cannot let myself despair because my Dad is in a better place. Hope always remains. He is in heaven, and I would like to think he can see all this goodness from his even better perspective. It all gives me hope because I know he is okay. He's better than okay. He's with our Heavenly Father in our true country (as C.S. Lewis wrote).

Still....

Sometimes it's still hard. Life is that way.

So we cling to that hope that perches onto our soul and doesn't let go. As Emily Dickinson writes, hope is the tiny bird that makes it through the roughest storms and comes out singing. Yet, hope never asks anything of us. Let hope sing.

Coffee & Scripture Time

I found this lovely Japanese mug at Goodwill last weekend, and I like it a lot. Essential coffee time in the morning with some Scripture. I have been reading through Ecclesiastes, which I finished this weekend and moved to Proverbs.

I realized that at different points in my life different books of Scripture speak to me as appropriate for that time. It's funny, because if you go to any bookstore, you will find aisle after aisle of self-help books on all sorts of subjects. But we only need one self-help book. The Bible. It's got the situations, the problems, the stories about all the things we deal with here. Sure, we may think modern stories might be helpful for us to read about, given the context of our ultra-technology-based lives that isn't referenced in Scripture. But there is always a deeper issue at stake in our souls that is much more than what our modern life looks like. At the core, we are the same as those who lived in the first era of Christianity. The same issues are recorded in the Bible that we go through each day.

Do you find that certain passages of Scripture are perfectly applicable now that did not seem to be before?

Fun Little Things

My new rug I bought  from the Fancy Flea a few weeks ago. It's gorgeous. I love the muted colors and the antiqued tint.

Fun little (tiny) buttons I bought in NYC. These are now pinned to my tote bag I bring to work with my lunch in it.

Rainy days and my favourite crocheted blanket. Not a bad combination every once-in-a-while.

Simplicity. Dried rose and an old glass container from the Fancy Flea adorn my desk at work.

I painted my soon-to-be kitchen a color called "atmospheric" and it looks so sharp with the white wainscoting. I cannot wait to move into this little apartment. It's really coming together.

Thoughts are but Coins

The Apologist's Evening Prayer
C.S. Lewis

From all my lame defeats and oh! much more
From all the victories that I seemed to score;
From cleverness shot forth on Thy behalf
At which, while angels weep, the audience laugh;
From all my proofs of Thy divinity,
Thou, who wouldst give no sign, deliver me.

Thoughts are but coins. Let me not trust, instead
Of Thee, their thin-worn image of Thy head.
From all my thoughts, even from my thoughts of Thee,
O thou fair Silence, fall, and set me free.
Lord of the narrow gate and the needle's eye,
Take from me all my trumpery lest I die.

This poem is an adequate summation of how we all have been at some point and still are in danger of falling into. From all our lame defeats we know we have encountered, whether by chance or choice. We have suffered through many in our lives. And then we seem to win big in some victories that we become engrossed in so much that we think ourselves so clever and become haughty and self-centered. We do things to please the world, with no thought about the angels watching us, weeping over our lack of wisdom.

The line "Thoughts are but coins. Let me not trust, instead of Thee, their thin-worn image of Thy head" really sums up nicely the image of the thin promises and surface-level guarantees we depend upon in our lives. Those earthly promises are as thin as coins; things we should never trust in over God's promises. This image will stick with me.  Our thoughts are thin, shift with each breeze. Even when our thoughts are dwelling on the goodness of God, we still have trumpery, or falseness, in our thoughts. God, grant us all clear minds that are able to focus on You without the clutter of our false thoughts.

Newness of Spring

While a new season of Spring has arrived, a lovely reminder of all things Spring comes from Gerard Manley Hopkins' poem, Spring.

Nothing is so beautiful as Spring –
   When weeds, in wheels, shoot long and lovely and lush;
   Thrush’s eggs look little low heavens, and thrush
Through the echoing timber does so rinse and wring
The ear, it strikes like lightnings to hear him sing;
   The glassy peartree leaves and blooms, they brush
   The descending blue; that blue is all in a rush
With richness; the racing lambs too have fair their fling.
What is all this juice and all this joy?
   A strain of the earth’s sweet being in the beginning
In Eden garden. – Have, get, before it cloy,
   Before it cloud, Christ, lord, and sour with sinning,
Innocent mind and Mayday in girl and boy,
Most, O maid’s child, thy choice and worthy the winning.

Hopkins uses so many alliterative words (the repetition of sounds in several words of a line) to speak of the beauty of Spring. Try reading these lines out loud. They are kind of like tongue twisters. Full of a fresh feeling of newness and birth in all that is good and pure. With the new life that I have just met, my niece Elliott, I read this poem with joy of her birth, in the Springtime, and the joy that comes with the new beginning. The purity and innocence that she has. As Hopkins praises all that Spring holds, he reminds us to look and remember that it won't last forever. We "cloud" it over and "sour" it with sinning.

Enjoy every moment of the unclounded beauty.

The precious gift of a baby and the innocence of the pure love sinks into me now, in this season of newness. 

Elliott Marie

She's here! She's here! My niece, Elliott Marie, is the new baby in the family! I am an Aunt to the sweet little baby girl. She is healthy and beautiful. Born on April 12, weighing 7 pounds, 8 ounces. I am SO happy for my brother, Ryan, and sister-in-law, Samantha, I can hardly put that into words.

God is so good. He allows such good things to happen and it is such a joy to be a part of. When we think that something is impossible, He proves to us again and again that nothing is impossible. That the joy is right around the corner, even though we cannot see it yet. There is no answer to how everything worked out so smoothly other than God being in total control. He placed all the pieces in perfect harmony so that it fell into place beautifully, like a song.  I cannot help but boast about the goodness of God and all that He can do. The thankfulness is swelling inside me. Watch out! It might pour out of me and onto you!

Persevere

We are all falling. This hand is falling.
And look at the others: it is in them all.
And yet there is One who holds this falling
with infinite softness in His hands.

-Rainer Maria Rilke

No matter what we do or how good we are at something, we will come to a time where we fall. We might lose. We might stumble. We might fail. But we all do that. We do not stand alone in our struggle.

The degrees of falling will differ, but none of us likes the feeling. Unless you like to sky-dive, falling is not generally a sought after state of being, whether figuratively or literally. I remember when I was little I loved to play outside and practice gymnastics stunts and run around. I would sometimes trip and fall to my knees scraping them on the cement, but what did I do? I stood up, wiped the dirt off my knees and kept on running.

I didn't realize it then, but I was acting out a state of perseverance. Why is falling not a big issue when you are little? You have a support system, an authoritative figure (parents) who encouraged you on, even when you fall. Especially when you fail. We lack that as adults many times because our society praises successes and rewards only that. But what about those of us to try and try again? I love Rilke's words in the poem above, about how we are all falling, and yet no matter how hard we fall, the loving God catches us softly.

To persevere, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is to continue in spite of difficulty or lack of success.

So practice perseverance in everything you do. Keep showing love and kindness when it is not shown to you. Don't back down from taking those steps towards your dream. Think of this. No matter what you do in life, snags are going to come along to make you stumble, but if you are using your time wisely by making use of the talents that were given to you, those snags aren't going to seem like a big deal. Because you have chosen happiness everyday. But if you choose stress and worry and giving up, the snag is going to come along and cut you off from any happiness you were clinging to, causing you to sink deeper into worry.

There is something beautiful in being able to dust ourselves off and keep going.

Saints are sinners who keep on going.
-Robert Louis Stevenson

Lately

Lately....

I've have so much going on. So much that I am thankful for, I feel immersed in a constant state of thankfulness, even if a frustration arises in my day. I just cannot fathom why I deserve for good things to be happening in my life, so when I think about it, I just say a prayer of thanks. I know the good is not due to my interference, but due to God's plans coming to fruition because I stepped out of the way.

I love my new job. It is more amazing that I even imagined. Much of that has to do with the awesome people I work with. My small office is such fun. I actually look forward to going into work each day! What a wonderful feeling it is, in addition to which I am discovering that my talents can be used everyday for the betterment of my office and boss! I love that.

My soon-to-be apartment is coming together, and the other night I went over to paint my kitchen. It is a bright lime green color that does not suit my style, so primed it with white paint, and will go over there again to paint it a lovely color called atmospheric. Ohhhh, yea. It's going to be classy.

Travel Spot: New York City

I have had the privilege and opportunity to go on some amazing travel adventures over the last several years, and I thought I would share a few things from some of my favourite cities. I will spotlight each city in a post and the challenge is to share my favourites as follows:

1. The Touristy 2. The Non-touristy 3. The Eatery

Here we are at New York City!

The Touristy: Empire State Building
I have never been to the top of any building in NYC, until this day. We picked the perfect morning because it wasn't busy at all, and the weather was clear for the hour or so that we were up there. Just a short time later,  the clouds and haze rolled in. I love getting a view from above any city that I am in. It is something I always try to do when I travel. I love to see the landscape from above. To see the streets and buildings and the perspective. The layout of the city, too. And NYC is such an incredible city to see!

The Non-Touristy: Exploring the Waldorf Astoria Hotel
My friend Zoë and I stayed in the Waldorf (because she was able to find a ridiculously good price on Priceline!) and one evening we went exploring the hotel late at night. We didn't see a soul, and we wandered around the many floors of ballrooms decorated for weddings or meetings, old-fashioned freight elevators, hallways, stairwells, and glimmering chandeliers. This hotel has a lot of history and it's simply gorgeous. And it was situated in such a convenient location for access to the subway and walking to Grand Central.

The Eatery: Blue Bottle Coffee and Shake Shack
There were simply too many good places to eat in NYC. That is the beauty of one of the biggest cities. Diversity! And the best! Blue Bottle Coffee was in Rockefeller Plaza, and I just happened to run into it. I knew there was one in San Francisco, and heard such good things about it, so when I saw it, I had to get a latte and coffee beans to bring home. It did not disappoint! Shake Shack was born in NYC as a small stand, and it's one of the most popular spots! It's just a fast food burger place, but it's really good quality and really tasty.

Visit other places with me! Here is San Francisco, London, Oxford, Providence, Newcastle, Portland, and Tynemouth.

Why am I good to you?

When I think about the good that God has allowed lately, I think back to my reading of this little passage in George MacDonald's book that I am reading now called At the Back of the North Wind. The discussion is between the North Wind and a young boy named Diamond. In this book the reader is reminded that God allows certain good things to happen to people, but He also allows bad things to happen too. Even to those that we would deem as good people. There is no real answer to why this occurs. We are simply not God and cannot think like Him. The confusion is perfectly written here, in this passage, and there are several other spots that touch on this issue in my reader thus far.

"Why am I good to you?" (The North Wind)
"I don't know." (Diamond)
"Have you ever done anything for me?"
"No."
"Then I must be good to you because I choose to be good to you."
"Yes."
"Why should I choose?"
"Because - because - because you like."
"Why should I like to be good to you?"
"I don't know, except it is because it's good to be good to me."
"That's just it; I am good to you because I like to be good."
"Then why shouldn't you be good to other people as well as to me?"
"That's just what I don't know. Why shouldn't I?"
"I don't know either. Then why shouldn't you?"
"Because I am."

That's not an answer. And yet like Job, we are to be satisfied with the fact that God is. We hold fast in faith that what He says is true. He is the answer. But not the answer we would like to have for an answer, which would be packaged up neat and tight with a little bow. It's the eternal answer He gives, while we seek the earthly answer.

Fancy Flea

The Fancy Flea was the place to be on Saturday morning. My friend, Emily, and I got there before it officially started, and I am so glad we did because the longer we were there the more crowded it got. It is hard to browse in small spaces when there are so many people, and I am not a huge fan of crowds like that. It was a gorgeous day to be out and about. The morning was perfectly clear and chilly, to which some people were moaning about how freezing cold they were, but I just smiled and thought it was perfect. Gotta love Florida, right?

The market took up about six blocks downtown and inside Munn Park. There was so much to look at. So many beautiful, vintage pieces. I liked this typewriter, which is a folding typewriter from WWI. They would write messages, and it easily folds up to be carried off as the troops moved locations. I liked the metal crate full of books (little Yale Shakespeare books in case you were wondering, which I have a handful of already). Mirrors seemed to be the thing; they were everywhere. We enjoyed learning about this 100 year old mirror, but it was not what either of us was looking for.We loved the vintage bikes with baskets of flowers. It just shouts SPRING!
What did we end up buying? Not too much. Emily bought a pretty mirror. I bought a beautiful rug and a little glass bottle. But we really like our purchases, even if we didn't find items from our lists.

April Storm

The storm awakens my senses
and shakes this place of rest.
All that wishful thinking
burst here in one request.

Unplanned and sudden, this is
a storm full of wind and rage;
so much power in these clounds
dims to memory on this page.

It is a tiny ounce of the power of God
and it might be quiet within the hour,
a reminder: today's storm will pass by
and it's our choice whether to be sour.

Gogol

I am an English Literature nerd, so when it comes to Russian Literature, I am a newbie. But I am always up for trying something new. I bought this book, Dead Souls by Nikolai Gogol while I was in Indiana, and to my surprise, I am really enjoying it. The first part of this book was published in Russia in 1842. It is so intriguing I want to keep reading to find out what the "hero" is going to do next. It's a strange story, about a man, Tchitchikov, who is travelling about the Russian countryside stopping at various estates asking the owner if he can buy his dead souls, meaning, all the serfs who have died recently. He wants to buy their names so he can scheme the government by not paying taxes on his serfs so that he can purchase an estate for himself using those names as collateral. Sounds weird, right?

Well, it is very interesting because Tchitchikov is quite a character and he has goofy things happen to him along the way. And each estate he stops at presents another odd situation where I am kind of laughing at the humorous satire. He is referred to as a "hero" and yet what he is doing is very odd, and selfish. There are a lot of satirical comments in regards to Russian culture, but while it pokes fun at the society, it is clear that Gogol is a lover of the Russian culture as a whole. But we can all make fun of our own culture sometimes, right? I am so interested to keep reading this book to see what happens next. But I love this little exchange from Chapter Two:

...it is time for me to get back to my heroes, whom we have left standing for some minutes before the drawing-room door, each begging the other to pass in first.
"Pray, don't put yourself out on my account, I will follow you," said Tchitchikov.
"No, Pavel Ivanovitch, no, you are the visitor," said Manilov, motioning him to the door with his hand.
"Don't stand on ceremony, please; please go first," said Tchitchikov.
"No, you must excuse me, I cannot allow such an agreeable, highly-cultured guest to walk behind me."
"Why highly-cultured?....Please pass in."
"No, you, pray walk in."
"But why?"
"Why, because!" Manilov said with an agreeable smile.
Finally the two friends walked in at the door sideways, somewhat squeezing each other.

Renewed

Refreshed this morning
a new day brewed
the joy of the Lord
makes me feel renewed.

It's not joy about a circumstance
or with this or that
the joy comes in knowing
that Jesus' love is a fact.

I try to grasp the full extent
about what it means for me
but His love is so astounding
it will remain a mystery.

So I accept it fully knowing
His plans for me are good
and acknowledging Him in everything,
each day, as I should.

Oxford Class Dismissed

Oxford class dismissed: The Brontës

The end of my Oxford University class on the Brontës has come. Now, I turn in my final paper. Come next week it will hit me that I do not have any reading assignments. No forums online to post to and respond to. No paper to write. No notes to take and posts to put together. I am actually working on my final paper right now (above).

I will no longer be reading the novels of Charlotte, Emily, and Anne to analyze passages. Nor read about their lives and interpreting how their real life experiences and travel influenced their writings. My mind won't be traveling every night back to the 1830s and 1840s England when these sisters lived and wrote. I will miss this. I loved being in a class again. I loved being stretched in my thinking and learning. I loved reading other classmates' opinions and thoughts. They were so eloquent and thought-provoking, I usually didn't know how to write something that would even come close to matching their ability to provide unique thoughts on a topic or passage. And that is the beauty of differing types of writing. We would all write out our thoughts, and catch little points others were making that opened our eyes to something else about the story or the author.

But a little break is also good. My life has been moving a million miles per hour lately, with many good things, so I will have a little more time to focus on some other books and writing that I was neglecting. So for now, I will tuck my Brontë novels back on my bookshelf, but they won't be sitting too long, since I am moving in less than a month!

When kindly thoughts that would have way,
flow back discouraged to my breast;
I know there is, though far away
a home where heart and soul may rest.

-Anne Brontë 

Joy

There cannot be resurrection without the cross. And yesterday we celebrated Easter because He is Risen!

The Joy (not just any old joy) is true and made evident in us. I think and muse on it and just become more thankful. I wish there were another word to convey not just an everyday thanks for the meal or for people in our lives, but a thanks that goes deeper. A deep thanks that nothing else can touch, except our souls.

I think living in that state of thankfulness would be a good response. Since that is an outlet to share the good news with others. To lift others up. If we live everyday in a state of thankfulness, we will spill out onto others that joy which we cannot contain. They will wonder why and to whom we are so thankful.

I sing these words in my head:

For you have been my help,
and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.
My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.
- Psalm 63. 7-8